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Yep, it was very shocking. Especially the people that didn't give anything, I was most surprised by that. And yes definitely had people who weren't super wealthy that gave more than the people that were very high earners
I’m getting married in a couple of weeks. Should be interesting to see who the family cheapskates are! It’s never who you think!
Before our wedding, a friend told us ‘you will be shocked at who will surprise you gift-wise, whether because they are generous or extremely stingy’ — could not have been more true! We are 4 mos. out and still haven’t received gifts from MANY guests (I attended all of their weddings when much younger/poorer, by the way), including most of my husband’s friends without wives/gfs. Friends who just bought $2.5 mil houses gave very little, and way less well-off friends were crazy generous. People really do show true colors!!
SC 2, I meant our wedding was 4 mos ago (sorry, a bit unclear!) I know guests typically have up to a year but I just wasn’t expecting so many outstanding after this long.
There are some relatives on my side of the family are wildly frugal and gave gifts that gave me the impression they were doing it only out of obligation, which has been difficult to process. I hadn’t noticed their lack of generosity until I saw the gifts my husband’s family gave which were either personal or very generous. What further frustrated me is that my younger siblings all worked together to get us a lovely gift and all of my siblings were already in the wedding party and I told them not to do too much. They said they were happy too all the while other relatives rather indignantly asked for our registry info (which was on the invite and website anyways).
Honestly, some people let their true colors show through weddings and I try to focus on how amazingly supportive some folks have been. But I feel you on the unfortunate realizations you have about others along the way.
Maybe a dumb question but is it typical to get gifts early? Shouldn’t the majority come at the wedding?
Yeah, I was just saying this to my partner. I have heard of the one year rule too, but I think things have changed. I think especially bc gift giving can happen online, it’s done right away or not at all.
Not married yet, but I know choosing an amount to give always gives me anxiety! I think a lot of people have no idea what's expected or what the appropriate amount is.
I was just asking my fiancé how much we should give a couple for their upcoming wedding. This couple sent us a nice gift after they declined our wedding invite. I want to get them something nice off their registry (plus I know they’re paying insane amounts for the reception dinner lol)
I’m curious on this too. If you’re one of the first to get married, would you match their level of gift when they get married? Are there different expectations for out of town guests?
Pro
I am getting married next year and would consider myself a pretty generous gifted (300+ for my fiance and I). I wonder how I would feel if people return a gift that's less.....
I don’t expect people to go quid pro quo at all. If you google, anywhere from $75-200 per person is acceptable, and it depends on your relationship to the couple, the region where you live, your own personal financial situation. For some of our guests, $75-100 is totally acceptable but for folks living in a $2.5M house, I don’t see how to see it as anything except an insult.
If people tell their guests that their presence is enough of a gift, should we take that as face value? I’ve never put a lot of stock in gift-giving and don’t expect people to give us gifts for our wedding. I’m realizing there’s probably a lot of people I’ve pissed off over the years…
I think you should ask folks to donate to a cause you believe in. People will give you gifts anyway.
Pro
Gosh the responses on this are pretty awful and the question in general 🤮. Some food for thought:
https://www.bitchesgetriches.com/traditional-wedding-gifts-can-burn-in-hell-where-they-belong/
Had the same experience