Anyone ever date an engineer and found them cold and unemotional? I struggle to connect with my boyfriend - he is very logical but doesn’t seem to understand emotions and empathy

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But it’s ok if that’s not a fit for you

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I can give some perspective from the other side.

I am an incredibly technical developer type. Socially awkward, shy, and unemotional (but extroverted). My boyfriend is the emotional and friendly one.

When emotions aren’t how you make decisions or what drives you, it can sometimes be very hard to understand what your emotionally driven partner needs. I had to learn and my boyfriend had to be willing to help me get there. Just be patient, let him open up, and help him learn your needs.

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Dating an engineer now. I thought this way about him when we first met, but now I realize he is one of the most romantic, emotionally in-tune guy I've ever dated. Sometimes they just need time to open up because they are introverted or shy!

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What MC1 said. I’m extroverted but my engineer boyfriend is super introverted yet is one of the most loving men I have ever been with, definitely not cold. Sure, he approaches my emotional side with logic (which when I’m angry is not what I want and I have gotten angry with him about this and hopefully he has learned now) but communication and time to open up is key to making it work. He is the perfect Type B to my Type A emotionally-driven personality.

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D2 thanks that’s helpful. I personally am in a relationship with someone who is very rational, and I’ve learned that there’s this unrealistic romanticizing that people who are right for each other just “get it” and there are so many portrayals of one partner swooping in and being the best support and having all the right instincts of what the other person needs. What I’ve learned is that’s all bullshit, and what matters is when there’s enough trust to help the other person understand what you need, those relationships are the ones that last. Not the ones that u expect the partner to just know and always do what feels right to you. I personally was in a marriage where my partner was always doing or saying the right thing but was cheating. Now I’m in a trusting relationship with someone who says the wrong thing a lot, but he’s willing to hear it when I tell him. It may feel less romantic at times but boy do I realize he is honest and his love is shown through hearing me out not just being this super charismatic prince.

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My bf is same. Extremely logical and technical and to compound it, he is an introvert! My birthday message was “Happy Birthday my G.” That’s it, had to let him know I expected at least a call/ voice note. Ultimately I think it’s up to you to decide if you can be with him forever if he never changes. If not, I think you already know what to do.

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Haha, yes he is. He literally called me the second I sent that text🤣. There was some confusion because we had spoken about it earlier and I said my birthday was not a big deal, I do not celebrate it and that I prefer the day to be solemn so I can just think and reflect on my life. No modern/traditional day craziness.

Yeah - poets write really well about love, but their romantic lives are a wreck. My husband is an engineer and is so supportive and caring; however, he came with a veneer of over analyzing and criticizing that needed to be scraped off over time.

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