{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Anyone fight with spouse over money? Just got married and the merging of finances has been super stressful for me. I am a conservative saver and husband loves to spend! He spends $1k/mo on food!", "post_id": "58b8aeb4c7c7b4001032707b", "reply_count": 24, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "5565cfca8b2b9a03009acf57", "bowl_name": "Advertising", "feed_type": "crowd" }

Anyone fight with spouse over money? Just got married and the merging of finances has been super stressful for me. I am a conservative saver and husband loves to spend! He spends $1k/mo on food!

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Merging money is the absolute hardest part of getting married (I'm a newlywed as well). My hubs and I have a joint where we contribute a % of our total bills (rent, utilities, necessary groceries, etc) and the rest of our money is ours and we don't get to decide how the other spends it. Avoids a LOT of trouble.

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Our system which we developed once we moved in together and has worked for us ever since is: we have a joint chequing account we use to pay bills, rent etc in a 50/50 split and a joint savings account that we put a predermined percentage of each of our monthly incomes into for in case of emergencies and finally an investment account that we do the same with. Whatever money remains we can do whatever we want to with. If hubby wants to spend 1k a month on food he can have at it as long as all the prior monetary obligations have been met and he isn't going into debt or spending it on hookers and blow then who am I to judge?

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1k on food is nothing. I spend 2.5k for high quality food. Do you prefer low quality garbage instead?

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@CreativeDirector1 what on EARTH are you buying for $2.5k!?!? Just King crab legs and filet mignon every night!? I spend less than a grand on high quality food, as much organic as I can, lots of fresh produce, grass fed/open range organic meats, even splurge here and there on a few things. Even eat out a few times a month. And STILL don't break 1k.

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Im curious how many ppl here have kids?

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Married 7+ years. Joint checking, savings accounts. Retirement funds are under me, but SO is main beneficiary. We share a credit card for usual expenditures. I act as CFO; SO as CEO so there's checks and balances. We are very transparent with each other's purchases, so no financial surprises. Big purchases are always discussed beforehand. We both feel that we're working towards the same goal. No fights ever about money.

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Been married 4 years and still have completely separate accounts. He takes care of cable/internet, water, gas and phone, I take care of groceries, power and dog stuff. We rarely fight about money.

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I don't understand why everyone merges accounts just because they're married. It's just a recipe for fights.

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1. We budget joint expenses (which is pretty much everything) and savings.
2. Determine combined take-home (after retirement contributions.)
3. Each contributes a percentage of the joint budget to the joint accounts (proportional to income levels).
4. Whatever's left stays in individual accounts to be spent however.

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In a relationship for 5 years + engaged 1 year. We keep separate accounts. I pay the vast majority of expenses: rent, utilities, car, insurance. But he buys the groceries--that way he can bring home the bacon!

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@Media Supervisor my husband and I have been doing that same thing for 5 years and we've never once fought about $!

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I do what Media Sup does... makes it real simple.

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Thanks for the comments. I just got married too and it's great to see how others are dealing as well.

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@Starcom We do exactly the same. Both use the joint acct to pay bills, mortgage, fucking crazy Chicago property taxes, 529 funds and Costco. Individual accounts for retirement and everything else. It's not like I'm blowing it on strip clubs and p0rnhub, but I do like not having to talk through everything I buy. My money.

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Fought a lot in the beginning, now we just budget everything using mint, we have a budget for "whatever." so we don't feel restricted.

What helped us a lot is having a common goal, for us it's saving for investment property. 2 incomes = saving faster = investing smarter = freedom. 🙌🏻🙌🏻

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I've been married more than two decades. 3 accounts: yours, his, and ours. Ours for joint bills. Yours for your stuff. If he has $1k a month in his account for food, win win. Win. But, please don't let money spoil your love. Figure it out, it's just money. Best of luck! 👍🏼

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Married 6 years and have separate accounts. Each of us pays for for about half, give or take from our seperate bank accounts. We do share a credit card and we put all truely shared expenses (vacations, home improvement) on that card and split the bill.

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That makes a lot of sense! Thanks Razorfish 2

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My ex and I lived together for 3 years and had a Google sheet with our shared expenses and who paid what during the month, and we'd reconcile at the end and whoever owed $$ to the other one would just pay that much more for their rent portion. All other money was kept for personal use

It was tough but after 3 years we are doing ok. I reigned in my spending

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