Anyone find themselves interrupting too much? I tend to get excited when talking with friends or about something I'm passionate about, and I occasionally will totally interrupt someone (unintentionally) when I get too into it. No one has mentioned it to me but I've caught a few looks from friends when it happens, and I'd like to work on it just for the sake of being polite. Advice?

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YES I found this out via my marriage. My husband pointed out that I interrupt ALL the time. It’s been hard to correct. Like one of the others above, if I wait appropriately then I usually forget what I was going to say. Or the conversation topic will start to change and I won’t be able to find a way to add my thoughts like some people seem to do so easily. I’ve discovered that some people just dominate conversations and I am not one of them. I’ve learned to appreciate when I am in more one-on-one environments or with 2 or 3 friends, where if I withhold interruptions, the other person will finish their thoughts and truly be waiting for me to respond and wanting to hear what I have to say.

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Yes. I'm so afraid that I'll forget what I want to say by the time it's my turn to speak that I feel the need to blurt it out when I think of it. The alternative for me is just not speaking.

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Years ago my sister gave me the best advice. When I’m in a meeting and ready jump in because I already know where the conversation is going, take a breath and write down my point.
It sounds so simple, but it has helped so much in giving me something to do while I wait for the person to finish their point, I listen better because I’m not distracted by the thought, and people perceive me as more interested. Then I say I have two points. Using a number reminds me and the listener that I have two things to say.
Hope that helps. 💜

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I do this too!

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Yes. I hate when I do this. Makes me feel like an asshole, even when it's unclear if others are actually bothered by it.

I've gotten worse about this over the pandemic for various reasons. What helped me the most was practicing mindfulness in everyday life (many short meditation breaks throughout the day) and really focusing on listening more than talking in conversations. Something I need to practice again.

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Yeah, sometimes in order to not interrupt i overcorrect and I leave too much space, then the other person thinks I’m not engaged.

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It’s a more productive way of conversing when you let others finish their statements. Plus, you’re conveying that what they have to say is just as important as whatever you’re about to say. If you want others to hear you out, it’s only fair that you give them your attention when others speak. It’s just a matter of respect imo. Hope that helps!

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One thing that helped me is understanding that not every thought or opinion I have needs to be added to a conversation (no matter how much I might want to say it). I learned it over time through mental health counselling, but it’s helped me here too. My fear was that I would forget what I wanted to say and feel left out, but I learned that if the conversation goes another way and I don’t get to contribute my thought, that’s ok. There will be another convo at some point about it and maybe I can share then - it might be more impactful with a different audience who doesn’t have as many other people with opinions (especially if I do agree in general with what’s being discussed)

Changing my perspective from feeling like it means I’m being excluded to feeling like I’m contributing only what’s truly valuable has been helpful (rather than reminding my self to simply ‘be patient’).

I’ll also add a non-verbal thing I do is rest a finger in front of my mouth in some way to signal to myself not to speak. With people I converse with a lot it also becomes a signal to them when I remove that finger that I have something to say and they will try and give me space to say it.

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Sorry, I'm going to come in with a different perspective. I have ADHD and rarely interrupt others, and I dislike it when people use having ADHD and autism as an explanation or excuse for interrupting others. Others may not be telling us this directly, but yes, interrupting people, just like zoning out of conversations, is rude and bothers people, and they're thinking that they can't trust us to have good conversations with us. And they definitely talk about it with our other friends.

Not interrupting people isn't about being polite or facilitating a more productive discussion. It's about being respectful, knowing when to give and take space, and believing other people's thoughts are just as important as our own. It's about doing the right thing. :/

Fundamentally, it's about care and being good listeners. Do we care enough? If we're interrupting others or constantly thinking of a response, are we really listening?

It's easier not to interrupt others if we're genuinely interested in hearing the entirety that everyone has to say. Be curious, and the rest will come more naturally.

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Ditto to PM. Telling people who struggle with this issue to "be respectful" resembles telling someone with anxiety to "calm down" or someone with depression to "be happy."

The people who posted about this here seem to be aware of the issue and care about their effect on others.

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In a way. Because we don't have the normal ability to keep track of things the way Neurotypicals do, we have to do something else. Some people interrupt so they don't lose a thought they believe is important to bring up. I take notes. Either way, it's a coping mechanism for an ability that we just don't have.

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Married 25+ years and together for 30+. Spouse takes forever to get to the point so I’m often interrupting to get to the punch line or the point. Often shot that snarky look and comment when i interrupt. I do my best to control my impulses to respond. Sometimes here is what I hear in my head when talking to my partner: “ hurry the f* up what’s the point here, yadda yadda.” I realize it is hurtful to my partner when I try to move the conversation along. Also could be because we’ve been together so long - I know where this is going and don’t need hear the rehash again. It is a struggle bus internal conversation everyday. Let’s be gentle with each other. #imaworkinprogress

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This is me to a tee. Thought I had it under control, but have been in meetings lately where I have input that greatly affects the situation under discussion, and if I don't interrupt (almost rudely), I get steamrolled into something that doesn't make sense by other stakeholders that won't let me speak.

I'm learning to refine the thought to be as succinct as possible when I can finally 'inject' it into the conversation, that mental process of refinement helps me cope while I wait my (never seeming to come up) turn.

More value overall in a quick, succinct point or question then really letting me completely speak my mind, I think.

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Ice, gum & pursing my lips together have helped in meetings. I have a hard time finding the right time to interject but I also try active listening techniques and I go overboard

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ugh, yes. it often feels like my thoughts and speech are out of sync, like if i don’t get the thought out while i can it will fly away and i’ll lose it. i find it worst on the phone because i can’t read facial/conversational cues or body language as i can on zoom or in real life. still an embarrassing problem—i’ve tried to be more mindful, make sure to take notes during meetings (for memory reasons and to keep myself occupied), and when i do interrupt or get too excited over something i acknowledge it and apologize for being rude.

i’m fortunate that my closer coworkers know i mean no disrespect but i still feel unprofessional and annoying whenever i do it.

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Yes I used to do this alllll the time before I was put on meds. I wouldn't do it on purpsose but it would just happen and I didn't even realize it was a sign of ADHD. My mind would just wander to a million different questions that I felt like I needed to ask before I had the chance to forget what I needed to ask.

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that’s exactly it! linear thinking does not compute with my adhd brain 😳🙃

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