Anyone got a great, feminist leaning book to recommend for my SO? We have our first baby on the way and while he is amazing, set to take the same amount of leave as me once I go back to work, and is constantly cooking and supporting me, the odd ‘off’ comment has started to happen. I strongly value equal parenting and responsibility. Anything that might cover what you can do during pregnancy and newborn phase as a new dad, the major drivers of inequity in parenting, etc?

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Crib Sheet and The Expectant Father. Leave them in the bathroom and they’ll be read. 🙄

likehelpful

Is he taking any leave when the baby is first born? For us, the biggest gap developed because my husband had 2 weeks of leave when our baby was born and I had 6 months. Even though he wanted to split things 50/50, we literally couldn’t because I was the only one home 5 days a week with the baby. Yeah my husband came home around 6, but baby’s bedtime was 7 so he basically made it home to help with bath and hand her back to me to breastfeed.

Even if your husband is going to take a good chunk of time off after you go back to work, I’d recommend him taking some time when baby is first born. Otherwise, you will just become so in tune with baby’s routine (naturally, because you’re the one doing it) that it is genuinely hard for the other person to jump in and do their 50%. And when baby is up in the middle of the night crying and you know how to soothe them back to sleep way faster, it’s a lot easier to jump in and get baby back to sleep so you’re all well rested vs listening to husband snd baby struggle while you lie awake anyways.

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Planning 4-6 weeks at first, he’s also wfh so at least will be in the same house for some awareness of routine. Then his 4 months of pat leave kicks in after the 5 months of mine.

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My husband really took to Be Prepared. Short, has pictures, uses humor, and really empowered him to be knowledgeable to do his own thing vs check in with me. Lots of great, fun, and useful ideas (ie baby gym reps)

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I think it's a fantastic goal and we need more of this; however, in the first year of life, the burden of parenting disproportionately falls on women, especially if you choose to breastfeed. I am not discouraging by any means, just trying to manage expectations. Me and my partner were both about splitting responsibilities equally but the reality of it was that I took care of 80% of things. Part of it was instincts - as a mom you get to know and understand your child better than anyone, part of it was my husband's lack of hands-on baby experience.

M1: Strongly disagree that moms have a special bond with their babies that can’t be replicated. I had PPD, and one of the things that made it worse was not feeling connected to my baby and feeling like a horribly inadequate mother because of it. There must be something wrong with me if I don’t have this mythical connection that apparently all moms have! Learning that’s not true, it’s completely normal to need time to get to know and bond with your baby, really helped me and made me realize that there’s no reason any other person (father, grandparent, surrogate parent, etc.) can’t grow into that same bond too.

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Related Posts

Folks,
Have been married for 15 years and have a kid of 11 years. My spouse is falsely accusing me of domestic abuse and trying to get separated. We have had incompatibility even before marriage on various issues but it was an arranged marriage, we tried to work it out and stay together. Her side is asking her to move on. She has taken my kids passport and kept it with her. What are the options I have to defend myself?

Women who had kids on their 40s, what are your regrets? I'm finally pregnant after many failed attempts and sadness. Now that im pregnant I'm flipping out. Do you travel still or feel like you no longer have a life or freedom? Having alot of anxiety and not happy about how old I am having them.

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Looking for some specific info on Short Term Disability eligibility at EY. I would like to accept an offer, but won’t be eligible for 16-wk parental leave before 1 yr of tenure. This is an important detail for me since I am expecting this year. I have received in email that for parents who have a child *before* 1 year, that they are eligible for STD after 3 mnths at 100% for 6 weeks (+3weeks of approved PTO). is there fine print that pregnancy is a ‘pre-existing condition’ and I’d be denied?

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those u r staying in hometown with parents and single in there early 20s...

how you guys manged staying in home this long..around 2+ year..

sometimes I had some arguments with father and feelings like need to go office locations.. don't want to stay here..
like whenever something happens the next thought is next day go to pune...

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Trying to get a 45 y/o sibling in to consulting (was an entrepreneur prior in the restaurant industry). No college degree but willing to bust his but to learn. Books/online courses recommended pls

funny

Do you think it’s worth waiting for Black Friday sale for strollers etc.? Or generally there are no discounts on baby stuff. Wondering if I should buy now or wait - baby is due in Jan.

Anyone out there take a new job with a little one (<2 years old) at home that would require a good bit of travel? How did u make it work?

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Hi all, if you’re a mid or senior copywriter in LA looking to join an advertising/entertainment/tech startup on the ground floor, give a shout. You’ll be writing everything from ads featuring celebrities to blog posts, videos, ads for our platform, and probably a few hundred other things. You’ll also work with our parent company, a premier Hollywood production/management company. The role is partially remote (come for key meetings and brainstorms but work remote other days). HMU for more info!

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Took a blood test and found out that we are pregnant on 9/1. Our beta tests looked good. I have my first ultrasound appt not until 9/15. Are there any hcg test I can take at home so I know it's still rising appropriately until my appt? I'm being cautiously optimistic...

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Have any of you ladies managed to get over an ex after being hung up on them for years? My ex and I broke up two years ago but I still think about him every day. We live in different countries and he’s now married - I’ve tried multiple therapists, changing cities, traveling loads, throwing myself into work, dating, self help books, you name it. While the pain has become much more bearable, it’s never gone away. Will it ever?

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I'm in North Carolina... and I resigned after eighteen years, with MONTHS of leave I'd accrued and never used. The sheer amount of work put on us was the proverbial straw (documenting EVERY student and parent contact, attendance, then updating attendance, grace-filled grades with no accountability from students, on TOP of the extra state requirements requiring IEP changes from switching back to all virtual from hybrid, and vice-versa.) I am done. I'm just done. And bummed about all that leave...

likesmart

Is it realistic to have a decent WLB if you’re a parent and working in MBB/T2 in Dubai? Is it guaranteed that you’d be travelling Monday-Thursday? Currently, I have a decent WLB in London but money is very attractive in Dubai but don’t want to miss my child growing up if I’m expected to not be home >80% of the time.
Any parents working in Dubai MBB/T2 have an answer?

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My dog lives with me in my apt with a 30 inch crate, he’ll be with my mother for a month. Her house is much bigger than my apt, is it bad to order a larger crate for there? Will he come back and be squished?

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For the married people out there. What age do you recommend young professionals who are new in their career get married? Also, what is a good salary to make for two people to live off of? (Age range: 22 - 23)

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Any child-free folks want to get together for a drink Wednesday evening?

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Not in creative but my previous agency had a fantastic maternity policy.

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i just had sex with my wife after like 11 months (reason for the gap: pregnancy+new baby).

And. It. Was. Life-affirming.

likeupliftingfunny

My parents are coming to the U.S. to visit for a month. What activities should I plan for them? We will travel for a couple of weeks but I want to find something for them to enjoy (instead of just moving around the house) while they are local.

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Iam 5 month pregnant , thinking to get release from project due to health issue and taking maternity leave from april 1st, at this situation can I be in bench for 3 months and go in maternity leave ? Will this affect my job in Accenture? Will the organization allow to be in bench for 3 months? If iam in bench during maternity leave will i get variable pay

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I have an interview with Deloitte coming up in the next couple of weeks... any insight, suggestions, case interview tips, or general comments to share?

Thanks!

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Does KPIT has JOB SECURITY?
Please comment

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Hi fishes,

How is Venturiq interms of growth learning and wlb ?

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Hi Fishes, working in TCS, Help me choose below option.
TCS giving USA onsite, ~80k USD ( H1B was expired, came back to India, still 3 years left, have approved H1B extension, not stamped yet) - CCTC - 9.25L
Infosys 24L (21-F,3-V)
JPMC - 28L Fixed.

Would it be possible to use my H1B in infosys/JPMC in future.? I don't have new H1B extension docs with me. Can H1B employer be changed in india ? Infosys JPMorgan Chase

First they came for the seditionists, and I did not speak out -
Because I was not a seditionist

Then they came for the gun extremists, and I did not speak out -
Because I was not a gun extremist

Then they came for the cartoon's reproductive organs, and I did not speak out -
Because I was not a pervert

Then they came for the burger lovers - and there was no one left to speak for me

funnylike

If you’re good at tech sales, how much can you expect to make a few years out of college?

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Simple solution to know if you are paid well.

Calculate based on your year of experience for backend software developer just multiply with 10 lakh
If you starting it should be around 8 lakh.

1 years 10 lakh
2 years 20 lakh
3 years 30 lakh
4 years 40 lakh
5 years 50 lakh
If yiu not getting that its right time to make switch keep switching untill u fulfill above to amkr sure you are at right band. Keep switching keep exploring earn more ... all the best

funnylikesmart

I am looking for a amazing career opportunity in beauty or fashion! Would love to connect on this platform.

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What’s WLB like at A&M? Thanks in advance

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skinless chicken thigh still has skin on it...are the nutritional counts accurate?

What’s the best way to get tickets to the Liverpool Arsenal match at Emirates stadium on Sunday? A friend of mine is visiting London and is keen to see it. Willing to pay top dollar. I’m not into football at all. Thanks in advance!

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Any Deloitte members have insights on any internal Supply Chain Consulting positions for someone with 1YOE.

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Hi SALT Fish,

I have a qq. Does anyone know of a Tax Preparation Software/service provider that is doing high volume and high quality annual IRS tax form prep for 1040s, Sub S, LLC and C Corp? Preferably remotely, not in person?

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NYC transfer pricing salary please share thanks!

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Anyone getting their LPL emails on an iPhone? I'm wondering how hard they look at the Phone at the annual audit. Not that I'm doing anything they can't see, I'm just always paranoid.

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Does anyone ever get pitch work produced?

likehelpful

Currently I’m in Level 12 with the pay of 4.5lpa, expecting a promotion to Level 11

What would be my revised CTC?

YOE - 2.10

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Does anyone know the standard package for secondment coming to Sydney?

Videos longer than 15 min get automatically shortened to 15 min on IG Reels! Help!

So, I usually host an IG live session. Typically, it last 45 min.

If I upload directly after recording the live, then the full 45 min is uploaded in 1080 x 1920 format. Besides missing a cover image, it’s fine. But, in most cases, I need to re-upload the 45 min video once I edit it (remove slurs, etc.)

However, when I upload my edited 45 video, it automatically gets cut to 15 min.

I found little workaround…

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Who here went to portfolio school? Is it true that it's absolutely required to work at a top agency?

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