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Hi all,
Does your organization have a good work-life balance, especially for IDs? Or do you know any such organisation? Currently I am working for more than 12 hours a day. I am a mother of one year old, hence, want to switch to the organization, which has less work pressure.
Wil be grateful to you for the suggestions. Accenture Cognizant MindTickle Encora IBM Infosys
Looking for some specific info on Short Term Disability eligibility at EY. I would like to accept an offer, but won’t be eligible for 16-wk parental leave before 1 yr of tenure. This is an important detail for me since I am expecting this year. I have received in email that for parents who have a child *before* 1 year, that they are eligible for STD after 3 mnths at 100% for 6 weeks (+3weeks of approved PTO). is there fine print that pregnancy is a ‘pre-existing condition’ and I’d be denied?
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Rising Star
Crib Sheet and The Expectant Father. Leave them in the bathroom and they’ll be read. 🙄
Rising Star
Not a book, but I’ve found this article spot on in articulating what I couldn’t:
https://english.emmaclit.com/2017/05/20/you-shouldve-asked/
Ugh. Love it. My partner is so good but I find myself wanting to add ‘for a man’ lol at the end of that. We previously used to discuss great father role models (and are lucky enough for him to have some good ones), but more and more we’ve been discussing having female role models - being good ‘for a man’ is a crappy goal lol
Chief
Is he taking any leave when the baby is first born? For us, the biggest gap developed because my husband had 2 weeks of leave when our baby was born and I had 6 months. Even though he wanted to split things 50/50, we literally couldn’t because I was the only one home 5 days a week with the baby. Yeah my husband came home around 6, but baby’s bedtime was 7 so he basically made it home to help with bath and hand her back to me to breastfeed.
Even if your husband is going to take a good chunk of time off after you go back to work, I’d recommend him taking some time when baby is first born. Otherwise, you will just become so in tune with baby’s routine (naturally, because you’re the one doing it) that it is genuinely hard for the other person to jump in and do their 50%. And when baby is up in the middle of the night crying and you know how to soothe them back to sleep way faster, it’s a lot easier to jump in and get baby back to sleep so you’re all well rested vs listening to husband snd baby struggle while you lie awake anyways.
Planning 4-6 weeks at first, he’s also wfh so at least will be in the same house for some awareness of routine. Then his 4 months of pat leave kicks in after the 5 months of mine.
Pro
My husband really took to Be Prepared. Short, has pictures, uses humor, and really empowered him to be knowledgeable to do his own thing vs check in with me. Lots of great, fun, and useful ideas (ie baby gym reps)
I think it's a fantastic goal and we need more of this; however, in the first year of life, the burden of parenting disproportionately falls on women, especially if you choose to breastfeed. I am not discouraging by any means, just trying to manage expectations. Me and my partner were both about splitting responsibilities equally but the reality of it was that I took care of 80% of things. Part of it was instincts - as a mom you get to know and understand your child better than anyone, part of it was my husband's lack of hands-on baby experience.
Chief
M1: Strongly disagree that moms have a special bond with their babies that can’t be replicated. I had PPD, and one of the things that made it worse was not feeling connected to my baby and feeling like a horribly inadequate mother because of it. There must be something wrong with me if I don’t have this mythical connection that apparently all moms have! Learning that’s not true, it’s completely normal to need time to get to know and bond with your baby, really helped me and made me realize that there’s no reason any other person (father, grandparent, surrogate parent, etc.) can’t grow into that same bond too.