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Affecting my reviews and performance. I ask for books bc having something to go back and reference is really helpful to me. Any other recs you have also appreciated!!
Ever thought of talking to a counselor? They can work with you on stuff like this. Plus sometimes it's just good to talk to someone outside of work/family/friends. KPMG has lifeworks, which gives a referral and 5 free sessions with a counselor.
While not a book, try this as a start. I'm not exactly going through what you are but have dealt with things along the same line in the past http://firstround.com/review/when-fear-is-a-competitive-advantage-4-steps-to-make-it-work-for-you/
Is it work team? If your team is negative change the team.
Thanks K1 we might have something I'll look into it. It'll def help to talk to someone help build up my confidence with this.
@P1 in my group we don't have PPDs who are actively focused on developing young talent. But I've managed to find a team that is & that values my work product. It's mainly bc of life exp. I've had so many exp where I've been chastized, ostracized, or cast aside for my opinions & actions that my mind now goes blank when I try to speak up at work. The experiences changed me for the better but have contributed to anxiety bc this job means a lot to me. What if I really fuck up and everything goes to shit? (mind this is my first real full time job)
Just come prepared to meetings and contribute. Everything won't go to shit.
Thanks y'all!