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I haven’t only because I don’t have the meds. I’ve definitely had these feelings and would have over medicated if it were available to me. Please know that you’re not weak for trying all you know to do to make it. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way and I’m praying for you.
hey, fellow traveler! thanks for leading with vulnerability and bringing up a topic that so many of us go through, but don't talk about enough.
i have adhd and take adderall daily, and i'm wondering why you seem to take it occasionally. i only ask because doing that amplifies the "speedy" side effects, and/or maybe your dosage is off.
i have also found that adjusting my antidepressant dose during this pandemic has helped me tremendously (suggested by my psychiatrist, resulted in a doubling of the dose), despite being on the prior strength for decades.
anyway, long-winded way of saying these are really stressful times, and your doctor can help you think about what adjustments, long- or short-term, can help you get through your days. and none of these meds help with stress management specifically: that is a separate skillset we need to develop through habits and listening to our bodies over time.
Thanks. Yes I worked with my doc on my meds a few times in March, so we are good with doses.
As for the adderall, while she diagnosed me with ADHD, she said that I had clearly developed coping mechanisms and strategies for dealing with it and it was well controlled. I had made it through college, law school, and six years of practicing law very successfully without medication for ADHD. Those strategies were working but exhausting, particularly in law practice. This was doable until I had my son, at which point I just spiraled downward in terms of energy and fatigue.
I waited about two years so I was sure it wasn't due to the grey matter and other chemical changes to the brain post-baby, which I know fade away. My doctor recommended adderall to me after all of this. But she encourages me to look for ways to regain my energy (healthy eating, fitness, meditation, etc.) so that I can be more successful in using my old strategies. Some weeks I need it every work day. Others, I just need it for one or two and then feel able to move forward productively without it. And if the adderall seems to be ineffective, I usually step away from it for a bit.
I'm not sure if that makes any sense. It's a strategy I worked out with my doc.
But sometimes I just feel so weak both physically and emotionally. I don't drink much. I've never done illegal drugs, even Marijuana. But I understand now how people become addicted to certain things. I enjoy the relaxation I get from anti anxiety pills or sleeping pills. That enjoyment scares me a little. My doctor is aware of how I feel so we've limited the number of pills I get (for example, ten sleeping pills or anti anxiety pills for every sixty days with no refill) so I need to call her and talk to her before I can get more.