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Anyone here successfully convince their boyfriend/male partner to go to therapy? Any tips?

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I told my partner in plain words that he has issues I cannot help with, as I'm just his gf, and not a professional. He obviously has trouble trusting new people, but I told him his issues were hurting and threatening our relationship, spilling into our daily life and (very important) that he needed to care for himself.
I compared that to my own self-care activities, citing my own therapist, workout schedule, my own emotional boundaries, so he could visualize the hours and work I invest in my own mental health. I think that helped him have some perspective, and ultimately decided 1 hr per week wasn't that bad. It's been a year now 😊❤️ He's doing a lot better.

likehelpful

Side note: I did not arrange anything for him. He had to actually find a book a therapist. I think that it's necessary because I didn't "make him" do it. I didn't force it. He needs to decide for himself he's worth caring for and act upon it.

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Convinced my husband - but it required researching and booking them myself. I told him when / where / with whom and then PRAYED he didn’t hate them. It’s been 8 weeks of weekly sessions and with the success of individual counseling I managed to get him to a couples session last week.

I hope for you that your partner will take more initiative.

likeuplifting

Yes, fortunately, I only had to schedule the first session and she built enough trust that the he just stayed in that schedule. Also note, this was after I suggested he go, and researched and sent him several options thinking that it would be something he’d want to make the final decision on and schedule himself. Silly me. He actually got mad at the suggestion. I waited until he cooled down and just booked it.

If they need therapy, leave. I know this sounds extreme but just leave. Protect yourself. He won’t change for you. If they do change, they’ll come back.

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If someone needs therapy, dump them? WTF! Therapy has changed my life. I wish a former boyfriend would have encouraged it years ago.

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I’ve been going to therapy for years and my boyfriend has been to a couple sessions with me. I think that helped him feel it was more normal and beneficial for everyone, so he’s looking into a therapist now too.

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Be honest with them. They’re your partner, not a ticking time bomb. Sit them down and speak with them truthfully about why you think that therapy would make them feel better, and how you’re feeling now that has led you to asking strangers on an advertising platform for help. You’ll be surprised at how receiving they might be. If they aren’t, there’s probably some fear and discomfort associated with seeking help, and as their partner you can ask them where their hesitation lies and what you can do to ease it.

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My husband and I separated and he only agreed to therapy after realizing it was his last chance to fix us and get me to stay. But during therapy our therapist said “if something broke you’d go to Home Depot to get the tools to fix it. Consider these sessions your emotional and mental Home Depot and you are here to get the tools to fix your relationship.” It clicked at that moment for him. That said my husband is very much a “fixer” type so it was an analogy that worked well for him.

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“If you love me, you’ll go.”

toxic

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Maybe you could try going to a couple of sessions with him first? It might give him the opportunity to see that it’s not this big scary thing and could actually help him. My bf didn’t start going until we had a huge blow up that almost cost us the relationship due to things he hadn’t reconciled from his past.

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