{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Anyone here who had an interfaith marriage? What was the initial experience like? What kind of life planning discussions you guys had? I have started seeing a girl from different religion than mine, I feel she could be the one, but not sure how a life could look like in future for two individuals with very different religions. FYI - I already know it’s going to take a lot of convincing for family to agree to it", "post_id": "6095185d584af2002b59e4d9", "reply_count": 5, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "58f8108c753e990016608a0b", "bowl_name": "Desi Consultants", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Anyone here who had an interfaith marriage? What was the initial experience like? What kind of life planning discussions you guys had? I have started seeing a girl from different religion than mine, I feel she could be the one, but not sure how a life could look like in future for two individuals with very different religions. FYI - I already know it’s going to take a lot of convincing for family to agree to it

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i think it just takes strong communication and really strong ability to bend. What I mean by that is many religions are opposite of each other. E.g. if you are an X and she is a Y then X might think by definition Y’s end up in hell. If X really believes that, then Y is going to need to bend. If X doesn’t believe that themselves but their subculture of people around them believes that then X will have to deal that. For us, I’m “Christian” and my husband is Muslim. Christian in quotes because I’m pretty much a deist (believe in god, but not much beyond that - this is not new - I’ve always thought organized religion was a load of hokey - including his). He is a practicing Muslim. We pretty much do our own thing (so I do nothing and he prays a lot) which is fine for both of us. He is flexible with the kids - he doesn’t push his religion too hard on them (e.g. - they (teenagers) fast when they want to) but he does push some. I bend on that. We both have to deal with the assholes in both our communities that are judgey. That gets annoying for us both but we’ve both decided a long time ago that we aren’t going to be friends with assholes. We’ve found our niche of people who do not have narrow minds.

likeuplifting

Thank you - much helpful! I definitely agree that it requires a lot of strong communication and bending. Can already see that happening in some of our conversations

It ultimately boils down to the two individuals. I was born Hindu, spouse Catholic. My parents were fairly unorthodox growing up. I grew up loving all the religious festivals but don't recall visiting temples. I've come to realize that I enjoy the cultural and social aspects of most festivals but don't care a hoot about the religious side. In fact, I strongly believe that organized religion is one of the bane of this world. Spouse grew up in a family where they used to go to church every Sunday. Parents still do. But spouse, and siblings, stopped going as adults. We follow most, if not all, festivals in both of our cultures. We do it primarily at home, with friends and family. Our home is decked out at Diwali and Christmas. We enjoy all kinds of food - kheer, turkey, khichdi, beef, biriyani, ham, palak paneer, and everything in between. You two get to decide if this is worth to both of you. It works only if you will make it work.

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My brother married someone from different religion. They dated for almost 3 years, now happily married for 2 years. They have not faced any problems because of their different faith.

There’s a great Instagram account @indialoveproject that highlights stories daily of love / marriage outside of the standard construct.

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