{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "👩‍👧 Anyone lost their mother when they were young? I’m in my mid 30s, and the older I get, the harder it feels (counter intuitively) ➡️", "post_id": "5b87e67b59ef3000147971b9", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "5976222cab932800101a9ca4", "bowl_name": "Women in Advertising" }

👩‍👧 Anyone lost their mother when they were young? I’m in my mid 30s, and the older I get, the harder it feels (counter intuitively) ➡️

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Cancer sucks! Lost my mom at 9. Certainly doesn’t get easier. Hugs OP

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I lost my dad to cancer at 19 and I'm not over it. 21 years and counting. I spontaneously cry at the most random of times!!! I think of him all the time even on client calls or someone sharing something about their kids, on the subway, anywhere anytime. I strongly recommend looking into a therapist that is trained in Internal Family Systems. Google it, it's incredibly healing and actually practical.

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I lost my mother at 11 and my father at 38. The pain never goes away, but it does get less raw. It also shifts over time, like different phases. I recommend the book, Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman. There is peace. Sending all of you hugs. 💛

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AD1 Thank you for your reco about internal family systems. Super helpful to be able to target :) And yes it is so random!!! It helps to know I’m not alone. Part of it is thinking of adults as grown responsible people who know it all. And not having my mom to ask her questions about adulthood and childhood makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong. I still feel like a child most of the time, longing for the affection of her mother. Again not in perceptible way. I will look into that type of therapy, thank you.

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DMC1 I’m so sorry to hear about both your losses. That’s interesting to think about phases. Thank you for the book recommendation, ordered it!

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ACD1 and MM1, thank you for sharing your experiences. It has really helped me feel a bit better to know it was “a thing.” Funny how this could feel like the fear of the unknown. And knowing it’s common helps me gain a bit of (24-hour) maturity on the topic. It’s just something we need to accept, live and work with. Just like we could feel misunderstood in terms gender, race, age, or ability, there are invisible scars like the loss of a parent, that hold us back and that we need to fight. It’s all a battle. Thank you 🙏

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I lost my beloved mom when I was 26. I’m 62 and still miss her every day. Milestones like getting married and having babies made me Miss her more. But I always come back to one thing: I had someone in my life who loved me enough to make that kind of hole in my heart, and I wouldn’t have missed that for anything. Keep going to therapy, and love with your whole heart. Okay crying now gotta go

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I lost my dad when I was 4 and I agree. It gets harder as you get older ❤️

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@creative director OP I am very much in disagreement about how this app handles DMs. I have to get going - after procrastinating all morning - to an on-site client meeting but would love to connect and talk more

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My bff lost her mom at 15 and it really fucked her up. She’s also one of the most creative no-fucks-given women I know.

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➡️ We were very tight, and we loved each other very much. Died of cancer when I was a teenager. When she died, because my world fell apart (i was an only child and my dad lost his job), I tried to protect myself and my emotions, so a) I could succeed at school to get a scholarship (or I couldn’t go to college), b) i wouldn’t be an emotional burden to my dad who lost the wife he loved...and so I tried to play mindtricks and see her death in “positive” light: as the opportunity of a new life. But it’s been 20 years, and the “new life” has lost its luster and it’s haunting me now. Im back to feeling like an abandoned child and it’s hitting me harder than ever. It manifests when I’m in my lows. When I feel misunderstood and “weird.” No one can tell, it’s just a scar that I cary and that never heals. Therapy goes so far (I love it though). Unless it’s someone who has gone through the same pain, I have a hard time really finding the feedback on point. I’m continuing the search... I would love to hear your stories and how you cope. Thank you. 💝

Oh wow GAD. I’m sorry to hear. It’s sad but also really helpful to know it’s normal. Thank you for sharing your experience.

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