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Anyone out there have a minute to give perspective? I'm in anxiety meltdown details below

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@OP if that’s the case, i bet it’s been noticed. Even the best employee can rub leaders the wrong way with inconsistency (which starts to feel like a lack of accountability whether you mean it or not). I too, struggle with mornings. To combat this, I’ve taken a few steps that work for me: 1) i always give myself 15 minutes more than I think I need to get ready and another 15 extra for my commute. Inevitably those get eaten by a random email or a dog who won’t come in from the yard or traffic or whatever. Having the cushion takes my stress WAY down in the AM. 2) I used to lay in bed and scroll through emails before getting up and getting started - that’s a terrible way to start your day! Cut that out and check email over your coffee or once you’ve started your commute - it’s much more human!; and 3) I make sure to stop and eat breakfast at home. It takes the whole “roll out of bed, scramble to get ready and out the door” vibe out of my morning.

Lastly, I’ve pushed up my “bed time” to 10:30. I know it sounds lame, but it’s the only way to feel functional in the AM!

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Yeah, OP - lots of good advice above already. I can confirm if you were reporting to me or just on my team, that stuff would drive me wild when I'm busy. It gives people this general sense that they're "responsible" enough to manage their shit and you can't and you're getting away with it. It's possible others have complained to your boss about it even if your boss doesn't care.
I'm not a morning person either and I continue to wrestle with it but I've done similar things as SVP1 suggested. And specifically, I'm not a jump out of bed person, so my alarm is set 30min before I want to get up, just so I can get oriented and adjust to the thought of even getting up. It took me about 10 years to finally truly learn to pick my outfits the night before and lay out my clothes... You gotta make some serious effort to address this cause it's going to continue being a problem... Good luck!

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Am also a mess in the morning.... this is great advice, thanks 🐟🐠

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Here for you

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Here to offer support/perspective.

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OP, were you scheduled to go in today? You should be emailing your boss and PM the moment you know you're running late. You can say you're having car problems you're looking into and will keep them updated. And send again later to follow up with final result. You should not be waiting to figure out exactly the issue before notifying. If you don't show up for work and nobody has heard from you, that's a cause for worry.
Your boss probably wants to talk to you about that / give you a lecture.

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I would say take a deep breath and take your boss at his word - that you’ll talk when you’re back in the office. Until you’ve had that conversation you’ll make yourself crazy trying to read his mind. It’s not possible and it’s counter productive. He might have shot off that note in the midst of a stressful moment, or not thinking you would panic. I would stop stressing and focus on showing up a strong contributor, regardless of where you’re sitting. When you meet - i would mea culpa the late notice on the car trouble, but that’s all. Don’t over explain, especially re: HR sanctioned WFH schedule. If anything, he’s probably just frustrated that he didn’t get a heads up until noon. If there is a true need for you to be in person tomorrow - can you consider an Uber or taxi for this one day? If it eases your anxiety and shows problem solving skills, it might be worth the extra $$.

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I worry that the inconsistency is hurting me because maybe I look unreliable, or he things I won't be there in a pinch, even though nothing about my work performance would suggest that. I have dealt with this morning thing my whole life, and God I wish I knew how to fix it!

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I work from home more than the average person because I have fibromyalgia, which HR and company policy are fine with. Today, I'm having car trouble and can't get it fixed till tomorrow, so I let my boss and all the pms know. It was almost noon before I sent it, because my husband was working on the car, trying to diagnose.

In response, I get an email from my boss that says "let's talk when you are back in the office" and now I'm panicking. He doesn't like me working from home, and it seems like I'm only on his radar when I'm doing something he doesn't like. . I don't think I'm doing anything unreasonable but I'm freaking out about what he is going to say

Further detail, I recently work from home a couple days, last week, I think, because I thought I was coming down with the flu. It wasn't the flu, but I thought it was best to be safe. So my boss has seen a lot of WFH emails from me lately. He never a seems to see when I'm staying till 8pm to get work done, or anything good. It's worse than being invisible!

^ Exactly.
OP, it's definitely a mistake to let them know that late in the day so keep that in mind in the future. And definitely consider other modes of transportation if in a pinch. But if you're freaking out about being fired over this, as I suspect, don't be. They're just annoyed with you.

Yeah, it's true about the late notice. I even acknowledged it when I sent it out. I was responding to emails and visible online way earlier than that, time just got away from me. I thought it was going to be a quick fix, and things just snowballed.

This is the area where I am just really inconsistent. Most people would say mornings are hard, but it's for me it is such a big hurdle. I never miss deadlines it meetings, but my body isn't always in the office at the "right time". It's like my brain shuts down and I can't think straight in the morning,.

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