Anyone suddenly have to step up into a provider role in your early 20’s and have advice on how to deal with the added stress on your shoulders. Very intense on myself performance/ error wise and extra tough on my subordinates below me as I can’t have them be the reason I am at risk of losing my job.
Context Dad passed 3 months ago and now my role is to step into my dad’s role providing financially for our 3 poor grandparents outside of the country.

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Everyone is glossing over that middle sentence but I would recommend going to therapy. 1. you have a lot of pressure and it’s healthy to talk through. 2. You are likely pushing your internalized pressure onto your juniors for no reason — that’s not good for anyone. Your personal problems and what’s causing your work-related anxiety are not their fault. Figure out a healthier way to manage your stress

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I can’t speak on being the role of a provider, but I am sorry for you loss and wish you the best. Is this an expectation of you? It seems like a lot of pressure to put on yourself or for your family members to expect out of you.

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Cut expenses a lot! And I wish I could say don’t stress out but keep in mind that a lot of people live on a lot less. That usually keeps me grounded to know if they can do it so can I! It’s about sharing whatever income you make. Not about trying to earn more to keep everyone happy! And encourage family to find alternative income sources e.g selling food etc.

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Get a mental health counselor to unload with. Family stuff is hard and harder to talk about.

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This was a helpful point. Thank you!

My wife and I were raising 3 little kids by the time I was 26. I know our situations are identical—for one, my situation was intentional—but I was definitely feeling the stress of being the provider.

The most helpful thing for me was to focus my thoughts/effort/energy on who I was able to help and serve (my wife and kids). It actually added a lot of motivation to my daily grind. I have been able to find a lot of meaning in my life now. It's hard, but I cherish the opportunity to live for other people now and not just myself.

I would also say, you're probably a whole lot more capable of handling this situation than you think you are. I find that most people woefully underestimate their potential to do hard things.

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*our situations are NOT identical

It’s our culture/ tradition. Those in the US support those who aren’t fortunate enough to green cards to live here in the US.

Cut them off

I would also take PTO to grieve if possible. In these situations, you have to be smart. The first way to do that is to believe you can step up to the challenge. There was a way your family dealt with the responsibilities before, I suggest learning it (even if little by little) from another family member and seeing what you can do. This could help you not overextend yourself. If you know the family well enough to know which relationships should be protected, this is useful also.

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