Anyone up for trading secrets about the lies our addiction tells us? I’ll start: when my addiction gets super loud it feeds me a story that I should leave my wife, quit my job, move to a shitty, bitterly cold town and live in a dump. Every day I go to the same bar. I have no family and my only friends are bar flies. (Cunning, baffling, powerful).

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“You’re not good enough.”
“You’re not worth it.”
“Why can’t you be perfect?”
“One drink will take all this pain and anxiety away.”
“You’ll never live up to their expectations.”
“Just say ‘f*ck it’, you know it’ll feel so good.”
“Don’t burden others with your troubles; isolate and insulate until you feel better.”
“Remember that one time that you drank successfully? It could be like that again!”
“You’re going to end up alone.”
“You can think your way out of this dilemma.”
“It wasn’t thaaaat bad.”
“It’ll never get any better than this.”
“Peace and joy and love are meant for other people, not you.”
“Do whatever it takes to be liked.”
“Take the easier, softer way.”
“End it all.”


Every. Single. One. Is a lie my addiction tells me. It will slowly kill me, drive me insane, or lead me to prison if I don’t manage it daily. The truth, the reality, is that I am powerless over my addiction and I need a Power greater than myself to live happy, joyous, and free.

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Spot on. Only a daily, sometimes momentary, reprieve. Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing.

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“You probably didn’t need to quit... it was just an overreaction.”
“If you didn’t need rehab then you probably don’t have a problem.”
“No one will know if you have a couple of drinks...”
“I can just hold this drink so no one asks any questions.”
“I’ll just count how many drinks I’m having and stop at 1/2/5/10.”
“Drinking doesn’t count when...on vacation/at a retreat/on a plane/in the lounge/at a wedding/I’m happy/it’s a holiday/it’s the really good stuff....”
“Your sponsor doesn’t have to know.”
“It was never as bad as you thought it was. It’s not like you were as bad as the others (at AA).”

All lies. All the sneaky thoughts that creep back in slowly if I’m not actively saying “not today!”

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“I know what I’m doing.”

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