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Asians in Consulting

Anyone’s parent(s) rain on your parade? Do you think its a personality thing... or an asian parent thing...

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100%. When I first got my job offer after getting an MBA and working full time, my mom said “good job” When I smiled, she added “other ppl are still doing better tho”

likefunny
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This one hits home.

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Yes. Asian parent thing. lol :(

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Haha yes, just this week they were telling me I’m almost 30 and that’s the age I should have my life together. I said I feel like I have it together finally, seeing as I have a good career, bought my condo at 24, and am getting my Masters which they’ve been nagging me about since I graduated from undergrad. They started laughing and said “yeah, you’re not married though” Me: 🙃

likefunnyuplifting
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Yes and perhaps adding different flavor to what folks here have been sharing- even little, random criticisms when I share something “fun.” Eg I sent mom a pic of me apple picking (haven’t done it before) and she must’ve done a major zoom in on my face and she’s like you need to use sunscreen you’re developing freckles lol

likefunny
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That’s good advice. Sunscreen forever.

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Even in my 40’s, this still happens with my parents. The constant “but you haven’t done this....” or “this person is soooo successful”. Everything is about accomplishment. Now that I have my own kids, I’m trying to teach them the best of what my parents hammered in to me about work ethic and academics. At the same time, I’m trying to promote a growth mindset for them, and emphasize empathy and emotional support as a parent, which was sorely lacking during my childhood. It’s hard though - I occasionally catch myself saying things that my parents said to me and have to take a moment....

likesmart
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It’s a cultural disconnect. They don’t mean to “rain on your parade,” they just don’t celebrate accomplishments like Western folks do, they look ahead to the future. They are proud on the inside

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Asian parents are insufferable sometimes! Years ago, my mom would nag me literally every day about getting promoted even though promotions only happened twice a year. Then when I finally got promoted she said she didn’t believe me and wanted proof (not sure why she’s so paranoid) and then never said congrats. Just continued nagging about the NEXT promotion. I’ve come to realize, though, that it’s partly bc my mom is not very intelligent. For example, she — a 100% Chinese lady — still refers to covid-19 as the “Chinese virus”

likefunny
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All the time. I will say that they’ve become much more modern in their thinking yet recognize their “flaws” and old ways of thinking. However, they like to pull their old tricks from up their sleeve sometimes when they see something I’m doing and don’t like it. As I’ve gotten older, I definitely call them out on their BS and let them know I don’t think it’s ok. Lol

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Asian thing, i assume its because theyre so used to competing for scarce resources in the overpopulated China that they just have this mentality that nothing is ever enough

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I still get the why aren’t you a doctor talk but I’m okay with it now because it’s their way of telling me they love me 🥰

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Sometimes one is okay, the other... not so

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My parents are alwags supportive of me even when my life is falling apart. Theyre chinese but were raised it vietnam!

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You are very lucky and seem to have progressive parents!

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likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful
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