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Anyone’s SO on the opposite end of the political spectrum? Over the last couple years, we’ve argued about things like immigration, womens right to choose, etc but arguments settled with agree contd.

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I am relatively liberal, and my family is VERY conservative. I avoid politics and religion at all costs with them; however, I really enjoy talking about politics and religion with my significant other, as well as our beliefs and observations around the state of the world. If they skewed towards not believing in what I see as basic human rights (e.g. a woman’s right to choose) or scientifically-supported evidence about how to control and limit the spread of COVID...I would lose respect for them, and that’s a hard thing in a relationship. So, if I were you, I would consider 1.) how important it is to you to be able to talk about politics with your significant other, 2.) whether you’re still able to respect them despite their views, and 3.) looking toward the future, how would you deal with things like raising kids, and would you be okay if your children ended up with the same perspective? Good luck!! This isn’t an easy one ❤️

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My family loves to argue about politics and for most of my life it was good natured. We didn't lose respect for each other when we disagreed. That has changed in the last few years as many of the debates have moved from economic or regulations where the degrees to the culture war and fundamental values. You can disagree about the right tax rate or the best health care system and still respect or SO but you should explore whether you values are too different if you disagree on fundamental issues.

The other reason to be worried is if political beliefs will cause your SO to engage in behavior you find dangerous or unacceptable. If they don't believe in vaccines that is just going to a fight for years and ultimate will have a negative impact on you

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A lot of people on here are going “it’s fine, avoid the politics and carry on”. I simply don’t understand how people can live like this? In the US, political beliefs play into almost all life decisions. While you may succeed at pretending to avoid these talks what will you do when you have to make important life choices that are very much centered around political beliefs? Will he then still seem like a “supporting and caring boyfriend”? Let’s go through a few hypotheticals...your future teenage daughter gets pregnant; will you support the abortion? Will he? Or, you discover that your neighbors cleaner is an illegal; will he report them? Will you be ok with that?
It’s ok to live with such diametrically different life views in the normal scheme of things but as you are experiencing first hand, it’s quite difficult when you have to live through opposing views in difficult times. Ultimately, no one here can tell you how to live your life but we can advise you on how we would live ours and wish you the best!

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My wife has gotten more liberal in the last 5 years, and that’s getting really annoying. She has to go.

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Go where?

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Womens right to choose?!

likesmarthelpfulfunny

Accenture 1 is in that weird camp where they are totally fine with ruining the woman’s life, but god forbid touch the unhatched fetus #priorities

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Honestly I gotta tell you, especially in this political climate I could never. I think this only really works if you’re both moderates, whichever way you lean towards

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I mean if you’re able to block it out, good for you! I don’t personally think I could live with someone who was not pro choice for example

Let’s just agree on the science (studies, analysis, numbers, facts, statistics, etc). Science is as accurate as humans can get to at a point in time, and It’s always an evolving work in progress based on more studies performed.

Science doesn’t belong on political spectrum. Well it shouldn’t.

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Politics, SO and I are mostly on the same page, although my wife is pro-life and I’m pro-choice...which leads to where we are fundamentally at odds: religion. She is catholic, I never was and as I reflected on my beliefs realized I didn’t believe any of it. We don’t argue about it, but it’s touchy since she wants to send kiddos to Catholic school. As far as weekly church goes, I’ve made it clear that if she wants to take our kids to mass, she can choose to do so. I just won’t attend. So far so good since we focus on respecting one another’s beliefs more than trying to change them.

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Honestly, THIS is how it should be. Respect on both sides.

Yup...wife and I are complete opposites. I hate politics and don’t like talking about the subject so I never bring it up. She can believe what she wants and I can do the same regardless of what the other thinks. That’s how we do it.

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Freedom of though and to believe whatever one wants that’s my view. Politics is all about who can lie and stay in there job the longest...that we agree on.

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Politics don’t seem like a deal-breaker to me unless you’re having ethical issues with his viewpoints. It doesn’t really sound like that from your post. I think what’s more important is how you both want to treat people. We can go about that in different ways, but if both of you are on the same page for how you want to treat those around you, that will be what your kids learn much more than your political beliefs. My parents were pretty different politically. All of the kids have different political views now but strikingly similar morals.

likesmart

It depends. There are certain political things I can be ok with if my SO were different. Like whether universal health care is the right way to go, or taxes, etc.

But there are other issues that we have to be aligned on. If he doesn’t agree with women’s rights to choose, or if he is anti immigration, then he is essentially anti me (a woman and an immigrant). There is no way I don’t take it personal and no way I could tolerate it.

Regarding the virus, we may disagree on certain aspects (mine thinks he doesn’t need to wear a mask) and that’s tolerable, but if we disagree on whether or not we should shelter in place, or if he claims this is a hoax, then no way I can be with him. The ignorance is literally going to kill people.

When people say they can “put politics aside”, that means they can afford to. That in and of itself is a privilege.

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to disagree. With the coronavirus news and developments, feel like our political differences are at the forefront constantly. Arguing first about if the whole thing was a hoax, then if restrictions were too strict, now about the protestors being in the right/wrong. I’m just wondering if anyone has successfully navigated this or if I’ll regret this in 30 years if we get married? Otherwise a great and loving partner outside of the political conversations

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I feel like, in order for a relationship to work, you need to be able to agree upon a shared truth.

This post doesn't sound like you live in the same world. One of you is consuming facts, the other political rhetoric, and it's a danger to you both.

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Yes - my SO was more liberal than I. I’ve slowly come around to his views as I get older.

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I'm more conservative than my bf but neither of us, rightfully, have a party affiliation.

It works.

likesmart

Is your SO a logical thinker that uses facts to construct opinions and is open to opposing viewpoints?

I’d be open to someone who is reasonable, but may have different priorities (within certain bounds). I could never be with someone who blindly disagrees and only sees their own viewpoint

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So why not avoid politics? I've found religion and politics to be the two areas of conversation to avoid bc it's a no-win situation. It's rare for people to change just from a conversation.

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Maybe. My parents had different views and that was not the reason why they split.

I've found myself to develop my own political views completely independent of either one.

Not to be that person, because you obviously love him since you are in a relationship...but there is absolutely no fucking way I can date someone who is the opposite end of me politically and morally. These beliefs define who you are as a person. Not believing in women’s rights to choose is a complete slap in your face as a woman.

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My ex and I are both heavily interested in politics. He leaned center right and I leaned left. Relationship was perfect besides our political differences. We broke up shorty after the Kavanaugh hearings.

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Are your politics different or your core values? If your values, at their core, don’t match, you will never get along once you bring kids into the picture.

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Sometimes the root of political beliefs (values) are the same, but you disagree as to how to get there (politics)

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You can differ in your political beliefs & its nbd, but when you have fundamental differences in ethical beliefs, that’s a problem. My husband & I don’t have the same views on universal healthcare, or taxes, etc etc. But when it comes to things like right to choose, not believing fake news, etc, we are 100% aligned.

As an example of how this can play out negatively in your life, my FIL is an extreme Trumpist & constantly listens to Fox, reads Breitbart, etc etc. He KNOWS that his views cause drama & needles every single family member at every gathering. He knows exactly what to say to whom to push our buttons & it inevitably ends with a lot of exasperation & arguments. Life is too short - find someone who is on your page.

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Water seeks its own level.

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.... we have drastically different political views. So no ?

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