Anything I can say or do to support a friend who just failed the bar?

likehelpfulfunny
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I would probably say something to the effect of “This arbitrary test is no indicator of your competence, I know you are an incredibly talented, capable attorney-to-be, and I know you’ll nail it next time!” And I’d probably invite them to a game night/evening out/etc just to reconnect and bond.

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Second the fun night out…but you can just say FUCK THE BAR I think that’s what I’d want to hear

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The truth is that no one really cares or knows whether you passed in your first try or not. It might seem like the end of the world right now, but I promise, it isn’t. Passing or not passing in the first try bears no indication of how successful will be.

Signed,
Someone who passed on the second try

likeupliftingsmart

Agreed with those who wrote that most of us don’t care.

A16 is correct to the extent that you can sometimes make an educated guess by looking at when they graduated from law school and when they were admitted. But even that isn’t conclusive.

For example, one of my former law partners graduated at the end of the fall semester, sat for the bar the following February, and passed on his first attempt. Yet the apparent “gap” in the relevant dates (his current firm bio page just lists the years) could lead the reader to believe he had to take the bar a second (or third) time.

I only know the above because I used to work with the guy. He’s been practicing for 20+ years, and at this point, I think he way he practices law (which is good) carries way more weight than whether he passed on the first attempt or not. Again, I’ve got better things to do than figure out whether colleagues were bar exam repeaters.

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Send them the list of famous people who failed the bar and later became successful, including Hillary Clinton

likefunny

A11 my reading comprehension is fine, I passed so according to you I must be bright 🙃 Your comment is getting dog piled bc it’s narrow minded and judge mental af. Many of the famous ppl listed who failed the first time could very well also fail in present times. You stated: “There is little excuse these days for not passing” Utter crap. And your opinion of the only 3 reasons for ppl to fail is asinine

Just be a friend. Ask the person to dinner, see a movie, grab a coffee.

likehelpful

💯 This.

Listen more than offer solutions, especially since the failure is fresh. I have failed before so speaking from experience. A gentle reminder that the failure does not define him/her as a person and that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

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The world needs ditch diggers too

likefunnyuplifting

Tell them the truth.

This is the best thing that ever could have happened to you and if you simply give up now, chances are you will be much happier than if you stayed this course.

😁

likefunny

Dafuq

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I think just checking in on them periodically. And in person check Ins. It’s so easy to lie about your mental health via text or phone. In fact, we’re so used to the “how are you, fine” dialogue that it’s almost automatic to lie now

likesmartfunny

Tell them you’ll hire them as your para

likefunnysmart

I understand wanting to help them out, but don't be rude about it. Maybe law clerk is better?

No big deal. Next time. It is a test. No one died.

likesmart

When my friend failed i mailed her a little care package and told her she will pass with flying colors next time. And she did.

likeuplifting

Get knocked down seven times, get up eight. Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It’s the strength to push through that matters

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When I failed the first time, my cousin who also failed the first time said to hold on to the feeling and remember it, because when I do pass the next time, it’s going to mean more to me than to the people who got it on the first time. I held on to that, and it was so real.

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Remind them how many amazing successful people failed the bar (lawyers and non lawyer) that it’s about study strategy not intellect and that they can 100% pass next time. Then be there for them when the drown their sorrow and encourage them when they start prepping again

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Totally agree. It is a mental game too.

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Lesser have passed, greater have failed.

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Help them make an action plan for their next steps.

likesmart

It’s fine. Many people fail the bar on their first try. Take it again.

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Yes... Bring them to the bar

likefunny

In all reality, take them out. Give them some encouraging words, give them a week or so to lick their wounds. Then tell them to get back to work. Maybe check in during that time to hold them accountable for their studying. That’s real friendship

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Let them know you support them and that the February bar is theirs!

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Failing the first time led me into my dream career and I didn’t even know it but at the time the best thing a friend could have done was take me out and get my mind off of it. No words of encouragement helped.

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