Apologies if this topic has already been discussed, but it seems my search bar is not working.
I have 7 years of experience working with big pharma companies. I am used to communicating nicely, politely, respectfully. The same way I want to be treated. No issues. But I recently had some feedback that I might be too nice and I should be more professional with my coworkers, especially my manager. I already get anxious and overthink every email and chat. Should I work on this?

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Nope! I’ve gotten comments like that before and always responded by saying there is nothing wrong with treating people with respect but that does not mean I can’t offer criticism - respectfully and with kindness - when necessary. I firmly believe it’s important to help create a work environment where coworkers can comfortably come to you and ask for help, critique, or advice. Being professional does not mean being cold and callous.

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No, you be you, that is all. Nothing wrong with that.

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Has your manager explained how you are being too nice to your co-workers? I mean, aren't we all supposed to be nice? Has she told you why she sees this as an issue?

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Ask the person who gave you the feedback to elaborate on it. In what cases were you being too nice? The only instance where I find that wrong is when you start being a pushover and losing boundaries. If being "too nice" isn't bothering you, then why should it bother them?

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Well, first define nice. That has a different definition to different people.

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As long as you’re able to set boundaries and no one is uncomfortable with your behavior, i don’t see anything wrong here

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Who gave you that feedback? Manager? Coworker? Male? Female? Over vs. under 50? Anonymous?

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So this happens in a lot in pharma - I used to work in the sector and if you weren't borderline rude, you were considered nice. I think you have to consider what they think is happening due to you being 'too nice' - is it that work isn't getting done, deadlines slipping etc? That might be one way to do it without having to change the way you are

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I would ask for specific examples and what the business impact is.

Is there a possibility your manager thinks you're being taken advantage of? Unfortunately I have had people misjudge my kindness for weakness many times before. Its all about being direct when you need to be. That being said, in my experience, if you're leading with kindness you can't lose. I'm sure you're killing it, you've got this!!

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

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