Are Indian men good providers but bad companions and boyfriends? Mine is dull, gets more rigid, boring and apt to scream at the slightest ask beyond day to day logistical help - Helping in Cooking, cleaning, house repairs etc., which he does well. Any expectations beyond that and planning beyond today sets him off. It’s like he is constrained and constipated and wants me to be the same, both of us moms who keep the home running. Other than that, he can putter around by himself all day.

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Indian woman here - definitely wouldn’t generalize Indian men this way. Correct me if I’m wrong but I think you’re suggesting his upbringing excuses his poor behavior, but it absolutely does not! Most Indian men I know aren’t dull and I can’t imagine them screaming at their SOs

like

Indian woman here who dated across other ethnicities. What you describes sounds like a person to person issue. My desi man is funny, a perfect boyfriend, and makes me want to be a better self of myself daily!

like
Recent IconRecent

Sounds like a problem with your boyfriend, not Indian men.

like

You can’t really generalize an entire race of men like that lol. Sounds like a “your boyfriend in particular” problem

like

South Asian woman here, and unfortunately this is a cultural thing. Of course, not all south Asian men are like this but proportionately higher than western cultures. In my family, sons in laws are treated like gods while daughters in law are treated like servants (normal in most households in the region). You can see how that might affect the attitude of young men.

like

I would say that's dependent on if a man has been spoiled by his parents and is a manchild 🤷🏻‍♀️ Unfortunately, a lot of Asians cultures produce this kind of man due to the strong emphasis on guys carrying on the family name.

I think you can filter for this kind of guy by seeing what his relationship with his mom is like, or if he compares you to his mom. There's a higher likelihood if he's an only or youngest son too.

like

Girl RUN, strategize your exit as meticulously as possible and get outta there

like

Indian men can be mammas boys and in particular are not very fun when it comes to dating. In my experience I have not really come across any that didn’t think they were the jewel crown prince to their queen mothers. Also, quite lacking when it comes to flirting and being fun and making a girl feel special.. Having said that I have friends who have husbands that seem quite the opposite of that .. so maybe there are exceptions.

likefunnyhelpful

If someone screamed at me I'd be outta there. That isn't how I want to live my life.

like

OP, you’re not even married, why would it be too late to walk? (even if you were married, still not too late to walk FYI) Your life is precious sister. RUN.

like

The question is - why are you settling? You don’t sound excited nor happy with your boyfriend. It’s never too late to move on

like

OP isn’t it better to detach now rather than getting married, kids etc and then finding yourself in a situation contemplating breakup

like

Why would you generalize all Indian men based on your one partner? That is just bizarre and silly

like

The way you are talking about him in this thread... do you even like him? Break up and leave this behind you

like

Ex husband was like this. Part of the reason why I divorced him. But current Indian guy I'm seeing is the total opposite. I think it's a case by case basis. Yes they can be spoiled mama's boys seeing as our culture praises men as being a gift directly from the heavens but there are also men who are helpful, respectful, loving, and kind. If he sucks this much leave him and find someone else. But no not all Indian men are like this .

like

Lucky you, He is a keeper then. I am jealous.

OP, life is way too short and way too precious to spend with someone whose company you don’t enjoy and who is not kind. Any barrier you think is keeping you there is artificial. Not saying those barriers won’t need managing or create complications, but you can walk through them all if you decide to.

likeuplifting

YES ☝🏼

like

Word, I think it’s just a your man problem not Indian men problem. I’m south Asian and grew up in the US and my husband is Indian like grew up in Delhi and he’s the most patient, loving, funny caring person I ever met.

like

Oh you have to leave. Any man who yells at a woman is not a man. Both my fiancé and I were coddled by our parents, but we “adult” the best we can together. The trick is to let him know that if he’s not going to do it, that shit ain’t getting done. Any guy who has a problem with that needs to go.

like

Sadly, this is the case with most Indian men born and brought up there. They have a different opinion about household and are trying their best to redefine the term here. Help them and be a bit patient

like

I have been! Help them in what way?

Indian men raised in America are coddled and spoiled by their mothers, who raised him to believe that they can do no wrong or never hurt anybody. I don’t blame the man, I blame their poor worldly upbringing and mothers for their lack of basic knowledge when it comes to housework, dating, and raising kids.

like

seriously, don't stay with him. how can you tolerate being screamed at /seen as competition daily by your partner when you've basically done nothing wrong? why do you take on that suffering on you? leave him, girl! he will never ever change, doesn't matter how much you try to understand from where his behaviors stem from and what tactics you try.

like

Your man is constipated? What?

funny

Yes I had to do no a double take there...what?

OP this is a strange post. You say you are indian ‘ south asian’ you complain about your indian boyfriend and you actually want validation that his shortcoming may be cultural? Get a break girl

like

Why not? Do we need to hold cultural loyalties as sacrosanct?

like

Indian woman here— I used to think badly of brown guys based off of stereotypes and few experiences. I now realize how wrong it is to stereotype a whole ethnicity (even if it is my own). It is different to critique cultural norms but you aren’t from our culture and that isn’t what you’re doing here. Hope you will in future refrain from generalizing in that way.

Related Posts

Anyone want to grab lunch today? Chelsea/village area. 24/F

like

Has EY put a hold on hiring H1-B folks? Had an interview today and the recruiter told me we have put that on hold till at least the end of may.

like

Currently in valuation, got offers from google finance and a infamous private company’s Corp Dev. Advice on which one is better?

like

How much does EY FAAS S3 get paid in the Bay Area

like

Is it normal for a Product Owner to lay out specs for how a feature should work?

I thought that was my job as the ux designer to figure out the best way to solve a need. But I’m getting handed projects where the PO, and sometimes the senior designer has laid out exactly what should happen (components used, flow, etc) to design a feature. It’s really frustrating because I don’t know if I’m supposed to be speaking up on what I think or just do the UI work I’m asked to.

like

Willkie Farr & Gallagher - anyone at Los Angeles, San Francisco or Palo Alto offices? Keen to learn about the differences in working between the 3 offices

like

Hi

Please could anyone let me know what is the career progress within Amazon as an Information security specialist.
There were a lot of information on SDE roles, could anyone talk about the Risk Management Or Information Security roles in Amazon.
The hierarchy, approx packages, growth

like

I recently join ps. Can anyone referred the project. Net core with azure developer.

This is probably asked an answered before so if there’s a chain of replies please direct me there, but how does one go from B4 to MBB/Tier 2? How many yrs would I have to stay at B4 before trying to change firms? Any insight would be appreciated.

like

Looking at a remote AWS job, is the starting salary stated for Colorado actually a realistic salary? Principal role but starting at $108K?

like

anyone here career change into something entirely different than HR ? If yes, then what was the career change.

like

What should be the stipend for an intern (compiler engineer) in Bangalore ?

For someone already in T2 consulting with the goals of working at a similar firm post graduation or general Fortune 500 LDP roles does it make sense to take on significant debt from a top mba?

like

Hello folks,
I am looking for a job in Pune. I have experience of 7 years in analytics.
Skills are - PowerBI, SQL, Python and business acumen.
I would highly appreciate your referrals/ suggestions here.
I am in deep trouble folks, kindly help.

like

Hoping for some advice on how to properly leverage another job offer to help make another company pull the trigger on you. I’ll explain: I’ve been interviewing with Company A for a month now and have met with GC, CFO, creatives, and today the final round with HR and CEO. I have a good feeling they will extend an offer but it’s not a slam dunk. I think I’m top 2. Company B has extended an offer but one that I’m not really considering (moving to a new city/not enough money). Do I mention this....

like

Do you guys have Any good books on business? Not those self help books

like

Any recs on a good office chair for the back? Looking to spend <$350

like

Ahh Saturday, how I love you... the only day that I truly have to myself

like

Can someone working as a marketing facing underwriter for Zurich, tell me what a day in the office is like ? What are your job responsibilities? Do you have to go out and market the insurance products ?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal