{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Are my chances of getting into MBB doomed? I’m currently 5 years old and a top-performing student, but my kindergarten is non-target.", "post_id": "5d7945c270a602001eff95a6", "reply_count": 46, "vote_count": 473, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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Are my chances of getting into MBB doomed? I’m currently 5 years old and a top-performing student, but my kindergarten is non-target.

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful
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First step. Get prescription for aderall. Next, quit anything extra curricular apart from studying 3 languages. Finally, take lessons on the art of the slide and financial modeling classes from wall street oasis. Should give you about a 10% chance of an interview, but hey better than 0.

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Don't worry OP, I've seen others in the same situation. Aim for a strong booster prefirst, It's the equivalent of going back to school for a masters, make sure to aim for a second language while there, it will make a strong case for target elementary

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You’re way too late. Rumor is all MBB offers are 2nd trimester in-utero now

likefunny

Thx

like

Maybe transfer to Sidwell Friends next year and reapply

likefunnyuplifting

Huh, we had metal detectors at my HS too. There must’ve been a super important student that I didn’t know about.

likefunnyuplifting

You'll need to pad your resume with some time in deloitte. Or if that fails, Harvard

likefunny

Ouch. But also, well done

likefunny

You fuckers joke, but nowadays to get your kid into many of the top private preschool programs you need to apply before conception!

likefunny

You're missing the point of a top preschool. It's so your kid gets automatically accepted into a top elementary school, which helps them get into a top middle school, which helps them get into a top high school, which helps them get into a top college, which helps them land a job at an MBB.

It's basically compounding interest in the form of "pedigree"

likesmartfunny

It’s too late. If you’re not a triple legacy for Harvard with a parent at Deloitte, don’t even think about it.

likefunny

OP I love this! Keep them coming!

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MBA by 6yo is your only way to pivot your career

likefunny

You’re way too late into the game. I already hired a Harvard graduate wet-nurse to breastfeed my 18 months old and victor Cheng webex him every night to read case in point to him. My son has a good shot at MBB or at the very least Deloitte.

likefunny

You mean Deloitte or at the very least MBB

likefunny

Or my fav type of posts: I make X amount of money but I got an offer for 10*X my current salary. Is this good?????? Should I take it??????

likefunny

0/10

likefunnyuplifting

Def need a target pre school even prior to kindergarten

likefunny

Forget school. I’m injecting my children with human growth hormone and they’re gonna be booming like Antonio Brown (pre rape allegations).

funnylike

Damn hahaha

OP - Stop stealing content from Wall Street oasis

likefunny

Should have started with Creme de la Creme, young one. Your chances are over. McDonald’s will always be hiring.

likefunny

You’re fucked. Need letter of intent pre conception. MBB ceo must supply sperm or egg. GL OP

funny

We’ll also accept the offspring of John Legend! Hope that helps!

likefunny

Coloring is way outside the lines. Plz fix.

funny

I want to smoke what you’re smoking ...

funny

First step is to get that 30 second pitch down, there’s no telling who you’re gonna run into in the hospital elevator after you’re born.

funny

Talent recruitment at MBB is below par. You should be just fine OP

funny

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