Are there any married men on here who miss hanging out and socializing with female friends?? It’s one of the things I miss a lot about being married. When I was single, I had a lot of beautiful female friends who loved to go out partying and drinking with me and they all enjoyed my company. Now I’m married, I can’t maintain these female relationships. Not necessarily because of my wife, but because the dynamic has changed. I’m no longer the very eligible available good looking guy! Continued…

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OP ain’t tryna be friends with no ugly women! Beautiful women only!

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Bloody hell mate, I’m just busting the blokes bullocks! Don’t be a nutter!

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Sounds like you just seek validation that you can still garner attention of attractive females. This isn’t about maintaining friendships, it’s about your ego. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be underscoring their looks and the need to go out publicly to show off. My husband has many female friends, work colleagues, etc. and he has absolutely gone out with them when I’m not free or don’t want to go out. But I also know the friendship is about common interests, similar fields of work, etc. And I know all of them well enough to know that there is no romantic interest.

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It sounds like you just valued their looks? 🤔

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If i hear „beautiful women“ one more time…

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I have married guy friends I hangout with just not solo. We go out in groups. They are a lot of fun and often act as my wingmen. I don’t think they care how I look though. They like my personality that’s why we’re friends. Why does it matter that your female friends are single and beautiful? Why can’t you just have female friends you vibe with?

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This is an odd post. You claim you only want beautiful women just as friends but they all don't want to hang with you after you're married. They clearly are not spending time with you because you are a great friend if they ditch you after marriage.

I have always had women friends, but I have more lady friends since I got married.

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Seconding some comments that this post is weird. I don’t buy that you want platonic meaningful connection with women. Sounds more like you enjoy the air of flirtiness that came with hanging out with them when you found them attractive and they felt the same way, and knew there was potential because you were single.

I have a lot of male friends, some single, some married, and some have said they recognise I am attractive, but it has never felt flirty and these are my “bros” and we call eachother when we’re upset, we share our vulnerabilities and challenges, and we send eachother stupid memes. I don’t see any discussions of such platonic intimacies in what you’ve shared here.

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Why don’t you go look up the definition of platonic?

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It sounds like you just want to be able to flirt with/hit on girls without feeling guilty about it? If your wife doesn’t care why can’t you maintain female relationships? Why do those female friends have to be single and attractive? Why would they cut you off once the find out you’re married?

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Yup. Wish it wasn’t so taboo but it is what it is. In a moment of weakness that beautiful woman could see you as a potential partner (or vice versa), and that’s just playing with fire.

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I wouldn’t care if my husband and was hanging out with women friends, but if he’s referring to them as “beautiful” women and seeking validation from them….I might have an issue with that😬 I know a lot of men who are super flirty with their female friends and even though there is nothing going on between them, I think it rightly makes people uncomfortable. I don’t think there is anything wrong with having female friends as long as you are willing to respect some boundaries (and if you can’t respect those boundaries…maybe don’t get married🤷‍♀️)

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Sounds like you’re just seeking attention from other women. And if you describe them all as ‘beautiful’, not just ‘friends’ like normal people - makes me think it’s not 100% platonic.

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It’s totally normal for women to be friends with men regardless of relationship status. I think it just matters your mindset with it - I don’t know you at all and I could be off base with this impression but since you mentioned “beautiful” twice it sort of insinuates some level of attraction. We’re all human here, no judging! But just sounds like you’re after something not purely platonic, and perhaps there’s something underlying there. I think in general women aren’t into starting a mess, and that’s why they leave once they hear. While you’re at the club, mention you’re a wingman for your friend (maybe say it’s a bachelor party) and just want him to have a good time and the girls will hang around for the good vibes. The more you act like a genuinely good friend and husband the more the girls will be into it.

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There is a popular saying in Bollywood movies that loosely translates to “a boy and a girl can never be just friends” 😁

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Is there a healthy way to rebuild these sort of female relationships while being married? I’m tired of always hanging out with other couples - doing couple stuff. Some times I want to go to a club / lounge - meet and hang out with beautiful women. But I understand that once these women see that I’m married, they won’t necessarily want to hang with me. It kills me lol. As a single guy, I had a ton more female friends than guys! It was so fun! Anyone with experience / advice with this!

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Why not just do it then if your wife is cool with it? I make a ton of new guy friends because I’m social, too. I just set boundaries and when I feel like they may get the idea it’s anything more I’ll find a way to casually let them know I’m not interested. It should work the same for guys and gals.

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Bro I go out with new women here in NYC on a weekly basis and the GF has no issue . Go out and form those needed connections. They are wonderful!

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Even though the app was developed with a view to relationships and hookups, who says that you can’t use it in an unorthodox way to meet friends so long as your are honest about your intentions? Your 1X thinking is detrimental and limits you.

So I’m a married woman and in some ways I can relate - the days of when me and my girlfriends would go out and meet groups of guys and party with them all weekend have really come to a close. Covid obviously really shut this down but marriage and aging has done it too. I am in my 30s and I think we can still have this experience on occasion, but it so rarely feels like it did in my twenties. It just doesn’t have the freedom, fun, and possibility. Honestly I can think of a limited number of nights like this since I turned 30 (I was engaged then, most of my friends in serious relationships) and it used to be every weekend.

I think some of this happens with age in any case - can you still rally the same group of cool guys to go attract these interesting ladies? Or are they at home with kids ect ect. Plus you start to be the old creep at the club….

A few suggestions:

1) my husband introduced me to raving which we do a few times a year and is a totally different experience but a scratches a similar itch. Could be something fun to do wirh your wife.

2) explore more mature alternatives to this sort of thing that is less like formal couple-y and opens more doors for interactions. An example to me is joining and hanging out at members only clubs, starting to host bigger parties and/or try to figure out how to get invited to good ones in your city (I find the older burning man crowd in the Bay Area is a good source for this kind of thing)…

Members only club? Is that like something like a boat / yatch club or are we talking swingers club? Lol 🙈😂

Let me explain better, I wasn’t sleeping with the female friends that I hung out with most of the time as that complicated things. I kept the ladies I was hooking up with outside the mix so there wasn’t any feeling of jealously. I think this made me more attractive with my female friends as I wasn’t seen as the guy trying to always hook up with them. They genuinely appreciated that we could all hang out and be very flirty and that contributed to the allure of them being very comfortable with me. They would often joke as to what ladies I was hooking up with as they all wanted to know - to see which ladies I was interested in. So yes, a bit of this is my ego boost. There’s nothing wrong being an attractive guy who wants to hang out with beautiful fun people. These are not the only friends I have, but in this regard, this is the niche. This was the norm for the places we hung out at. I get it, it’s superficial and vain and this is the only area of my life that I indulge in this, otherwise Im the most modest, down to earth, easy going with the flow, friends with everyone type of guy.

OP, it sounds like maybe you lost the allure to these lady friends because now they know who you’re sleeping with, your wife. I don’t know what to tell you, in a way I feel for you because after 6 years in a relationship sometimes it’s nice to be flirted with or invited to VIP when I’m out with my girl friends or just reminiscent of my fun single days. But at the same time I continue to have guy friends who I can hang out and maintain those relationships because I’m not just strictly limiting myself to certain types of guys (i.e., hot guy friends only) for my own ego boost but rather to maintain those genuine friendships I’ve formed over the years. For better or worse things change when we get into long term relationships. It can be difficult and you can miss that old feeling. You certainly can have female friends (I’d offer to be a friend although based on your posts don’t think I’d meet your lady-friend standards) but I think you just need to readjust the mindset of what you want out of it at the end of the day and what’s realistic now that you’re married (and presumably not seeking to put yourself in a position to jeopardize your marriage).

Btw, curious, but have you discussed this with your wife?

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I mean, I’m married and have female friends. It is harder to go out and just have drinks on a random Thursday, but that’s more down to other factors than their gender.

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