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Can I get a referral from someone at US Bank? I am applying for their Dealer Service Sales Rep 3 position, which I believe is a perfect fit for my 10+ YOE in sales. I also have a couple of months of sales experience being a licensed car salesperson a couple of years back. Thank you in advance.
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Rising Star
What prenatal vitamins did you all use?
Chief
Yes, I’ve had a doula for both of my births. Absolutely worth it.
Couldn’t agree with McK1 more about confirmation bias, and I’m going to put myself firmly in the “I had a doula and it’s the best money I’ve ever spent” category. All of the reasons for getting a doula that McK1 listed apply to me and were more than fulfilled by my doula. Thanks to her, I was able to make clear, empowered decisions when I felt I was at my most vulnerable. I was able to do things that hastened my labor. And my partner was empowered to help me. Laboring and delivery was (dare I say?) great thanks to my doula.
But where my doula was AMAZING was when it all went wrong. After I delivered my baby, I had some scary and sudden surprise complications. When that happens, doctors flood your room and they are all focused on saving you. But no one is focused on talking to you and keeping you calm. My doula was my rock through the scariest 20 mins of my life. I know the whole thing would have been 10x more traumatic without her holding my hand.
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I’m thinking about it and chose to educate myself and learn how to advocate for myself first and everything natural birthing related before I explore the doula route.
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What resources are you using? Thanks
We have a doula (due in 9 days!), and she has been so helpful with the entire process
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How much did it cost you?
Pro
I am in a LCOL area and my doula cost $800, she also did photography for us. She has 10 years of experience as a doula.
Rising Star
I had a doula who was also a photographer that got shots of my whole labor and delivery. Was wonderful, especially as a FTM trying to avoid interventions. Partner also gets support too
I think there is serious selection (and confirmation) bias in who recommends a doula vs who doesn’t. Everyone I talked to who had one said they were indispensable; everyone who did not have one didn’t miss it. I’d think about why you’d want / need that support to help you get to an answer on whether that role will add value in your delivery. Common reasons my friends hired doulas and loved them include prior medical trauma, fear of not being able to advocate for themselves, lack of education on the birthing process and wanting help making informed choices, concerns about partner’s ability to help during labor, etc.
We did not have one and had an excellent labor and delivery experience despite (because of?) being at a large teaching hospital where residents did the entire thing end to end. I had done my research and taken childbirth classes to prepare for options, and my partner is an incredibly calm and level-header crisis manager, so I felt covered there.
However, we did hire a postpartum doula because my greatest anxieties were around keeping a baby alive and navigating breastfeeding. She was essential to keeping things low stress and high happiness in those early weeks.
These are all great reasons! And everyone deserves a positive and empowering birth experience. Apologies - did not mean to come across as arguing ‘against’ the role - the evidence very much supports the value. I do believe it is also possible to have positive and empowering birth experiences without one as well, as I did. Ultimately it’s a decision that the birthing individual needs to make based on their goals, concerns, etc. As I said, a postpartum doula was critical for me personally, but I completely respect and understand that many others do just fine in those early weeks without one.
On the other side, I DIDN’T have a doula for either of my births and am so glad I didn’t. I considered it- even interviewed a few- but at the end of the day decided I didn’t want anyone else present other than my husband. Really glad that’s the choice I went with, I would have honestly found it awkward to have had a third person just hanging around while we were waiting.
Agree that there’s a lot of confirmation bias out there and that your birth “goals” are a big factor in this decision. I knew I wanted an epidural so couldn’t really figure out what the point of a doula would be.
Pro
I also agree with McK1’s comment about confirmation bias. That being said, FTM here who gave birth last month, I had a doula and I literally don’t think I could have delivered my baby without her. I knew I wanted a natural birth and no epidural, and she was such a great advocate for us and sounding board. Labor was 24 hours and some things did not go according to our birth plan, which I think are inevitable, so it was so nice to have someone who is so experienced with births by our side along the way. She was constantly suggesting comfort poses so I was constantly able to be moving around, giving my husband breaks, encouraging me to walk or massaging me, providing hip squeezes, etc. I was able to deliver vaginally without an epidural and had no vaginal or perineal tearing. I have been recommending a doula to all of my friends and would use one for any future births.