As a female in finance, how do you network and bond with men? They seem to have their own boys club.

likehelpful
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

I could relate with you, though I am a guy, I appreciate my female coworkers and we just vibe by talking about subjects we share similar interests. Just feel confident to approach the guys, it will click. First impression matters too.

like

i just left a company where my boss would only talk about her kids and family. We found small talk common ground on Marvel movies and tv shows. But the same could also apply to movies. Theres a lot of tv shows out and if you watch some of the popular one’s on streaming services this could be a good topic to lead with. Right now there is House of Dragon and Rings of Power and i’m sure Disney + will release additional Marvel and Star Wars content that i’ll lead with in the future.

like

Senior men love talking about themselves, big egos.

like
Recent IconRecent

Boy, is it tough. I've networked with a few men who are outright sexists! Worst day of my life. Glad I found a few respectful ones out there.

like

Yep, we exist. I admire most women in this business because in many ways it’s doubly difficult. For me (a guy), I prefer working with women. All of my best bosses have been women. It would be a better world if we could universally lower testosterone levels.

And just to clarify, I’m straight, am married with kids, and like sports.

Just to clarify further, there are no “girls” who work in this business.

like

Oh yes, I know exactly what you are talking about. The men in the office always seem to meet up and hang out, then they are super quiet when a woman walks into the room. And it does feel like the male leadership team always shows favoritism or preference to the male team members

like

Yes this!!

like

Fr. I definitely have a hard time

like

Just for reference, younger ambitious men think about how they can get into this “boys club” that they aren’t a part of themselves (yet at least).

It comes with sneaky aggression. By that I mean the younger men fake interests in sports they do not like and activities they don’t care about in order to get on the executives good sides. Learn their favorite things, ask them about their kids, talk their interests and gradually they think of you as “one of us”

likehelpful

Lol i picked up sports gambling just to find some interest in sports. I dont wager much unless its a game im pumped about (jeez look at me being a fan).

I have found a new passion in hockey after a few games i attended, but it all started with throwing a few dollars on the money line.

Ive always enjoyed gambling even as a child playing poker with my older cousins. I never play with much, i just enjoy playing.

like

I try to find common topics, but I also have a hard time when they tend to split off and do things together without ever really inviting/asking me. I usually don’t know about these things until after they’ve occurred. I’m also the only female in my group

like

You just need to slowly work your way into their inner circles, not everything is always work work work either. Where work is related, try do specific things to impressive whomever so they take notice.
My office had a noticeable difference in routines between men and women, pay attention and do what the men do. Where a coworker will eat a salad alone in her office, I’ll eat lunch always with the men on their schedule, go buy lunch with them, make an extra coffee or pick them up iced coffee and follow what they want to do so now I am included in their boys club. I have since been offered to work on more interesting work & higher positions have backed me for increases and higher positions. It’s all about being strategic & you’ll probably even make some friends along the way.

like

It’s never just men being exclusive, that’s so sexist to act like women aren’t just as exclusive and clique-y. I have the opposite problem in my office with the men being more accepting and willing to bring new folks into the group and the women having a tight-knit group that’s almost impossible to join if you haven’t been here for more than 15 years.

like

The advice you are about to hear is invaluable and has worked like a charm for decades. I used a four pronged approach to this so called “boys club.”

1. When a male colleague begins to slowly confide in you with any agitation or slight grievances to someone who is making their life difficult in the workplace place, be the attentive listener they crave. A few gentle smiles, head nods and the words “I couldn’t agree with you more” go a long way.
2. I know absolutely zero about….going up to the mountains, sports, golf, football gambling, hunting, exotic arbitrage investment strategies etc…but I would use a few key buzzwords every now & again and this made them feel like we had common ground, similar interests.
3. Morning coffee is the Holy Grail of establishing trust with the male counterpart.
4. Going to lunch. For whatever reason men absolutely LOVE having a woman in the workplace initiate “lunch plans” with them. Be the one to initiate the calendar invite, the instant messaging requests etc….the direct face to face office or hallway interaction that simply says, “ lunch today at 12:15.” You will be amazed at the amount of success these simple strategies will reap.

like

As a man, this is spot on. We try not to initiate the lunch or coffee 1:1’s because a lot of men are nervous today about optics that we maybe hitting on them. So instead, it’s much better and you will get 99.99% success result of men saying yes to coffee or lunch. It’s the truth, I’m saying how it is and what the men today are thinking.

Also, middle age men in the office - they are like the lonely group. They don’t fit in with the young guys and there are less peers in there office with them. Ask them for coffee or lunch, they never say no - esp to a woman. A younger woman just gives us energy we are not use too.. so it can make their day - keep it professional.

Also #1. This works in marriages and relationships as well 😂

like

Confidence and tailoring to your audience. Don’t get me wrong there are lots of great men in the finance industry but there are also scummy ones. Quickly realized that if you’re an attractive female it can get you into a conversation faster but it can also turn to being a pass at you or degrading your capabilities. Confidence overrules everything and just remember even if a few of them don’t treat you well you need to move on (and hope they’re boomers so they’re out of the workforce soon). I hate that I do this personally but a big part of it for me is about being “fake” with them.

like

Kick their ass on the golf course.

like

As a gay man (not as bro-y I can see the perspective and understand / relate) some of my tips - golf is always a way to help steer conversations (especially if you’re really good!) other tips - follow common sports (by their season), humor always helps breaks convos, start with the more Inclusive male colleagues and slowly make ur way into the friend group

like

I've given up on trying to push my way into their clique and have resorted to letting them come to me naturally. A good few started striking up a conversation with me recently and I'm thankful they did because it was starting to get boring for me in the office. Sometimes acting indifferent can help you hahaha

like

Find a way in, there’s always a way.

like

What about gluten-free brownies or cookies? I've never had coworkers turn them down and most say they taste better than the gluteny versions.

Can definitely take more time and effort if you’re not already into the things they are. Try to find common interests. Or try to find out what interests them and be open to learning about whatever hobby or interest they have.

like

Men will always be men. Even when you hit the highest levels, they will always have a boys club. I mean isn’t that what fraternities are for? Also, it’s human nature for men to hunt in packs so by nature they will find their group of guys to do “guy stuff” like bond over sports, women, etc (trying to get in a way of male bonding isn’t going to get you in the club).

I’m just saying how it is but men do need to make a conscious effort how women feel about this. Those who can integrate wand be more open will be successful.

like

just tell them you know Jordan Belfort

like

I’ve had a lot of women colleagues in the past. From my experience, majority of them have been very reserved. It was very difficult for me to sense emotion and did not want to upset them by speaking to them. I would always say hello and a few of them started talking to me and we developed a great friendship so much so that I started having lunch with them every couple of weeks. Be friendly, maybe even initiate the convo!

like

These are great comments and suggestions. I think all the above comments are also dependent on industry and office culture. As a senior female working for a long time in the heavily male dominated field of real estate development I’ve had success by being bold and confident in my role. I can joke around and get people out for say golf or a drink or whatever. But at the end of the day there are always “clicks” including the good-old boys clubs and that won’t change. But, there’s always ways to be noticed and get a seat at the table of advancement. I think everyone’s situation is unique.

uplifting

The magic happens outside the office. In the office, you have to play the game and ensure you are a top performer. Outside the office, you have to participate in activities theta enhances your personal brand for leadership opportunities like serving on a board of a nonprofit where yours upper peers spend their time. In addition, have a partner or spouse is an advantage as you can potentially get invited to private dinners/events with their partner/spouse. This is where the magic happens.

like

Related Posts

So are there any singles events for smart people like consultants in NY?

like

Is this still active? I’m a 25F in NoVA. Open to chatting!

funny

Hi male here , any one interested msg me

like

Any female fish willing to give some advice?

like

This woman and I have been snapping for a week or two. She won't go out with me until she is comfortable. I'm feeling very attracted to her but am a bit discouraged.

like

How often do you text with your SO during the work day? Dating or married? Did it change after marriage?

like

What are some of the cringiest/funniest things you’ve seen on a dating profile?

New in town, where do I go to meet people (for friends and dating)?

like

Ladies in their 30s (or anyone) help me out. When on a great first date with a guy in his late 30s, we totally clicked. When he dropped me off, he asked to come inside and I politely said no, since I don't invite anyone inside after the first time we've met date or not. Everything seemed fine but this morning he texts me "I'm sorry it just seems like we aren't looking for the same things." What did I do wrong here? Should I have let him come inside?

funnylike

I truly wish women (aka me 31F ) would learn to date for the experience and not for the pressure of marriage. 🥲

likefunnyhelpful

Thought we could all use some laughs ! Most cringe worthy Bio on a dating app you've seen ?

like

Any late twenties fish here? 27/m/Manhattan

like

Have anyone experienced this, are they trying to cheat me?

Post Photo
likehelpful

How do you actually find a decent person to date when you’re working 80+ consulting hours? Like seriously...everyone I know who recently got engaged or married had been long term dating since high school or college. What has worked for people?

like

I think it's weird to see so much disney stuff on girls dating profiles. I'm a 34 year old dude and it just seems like something a little girl would put on their profile and not a woman. But please correct me if I'm off base.

likehelpful

Not mine, but eye catching.

Post Photo
funnylike

For all the Indian men (who grew up in India, now working on visa or post student options in US) and trying to marry an Indian American citizen to expedite your GC/citizenship path, I have a recommendation for you.
Be honest about your status and forthcoming. Don’t play the ladies for your ulterior motives. What’s meant to be will be, however if you approach dating/marriage for status or hide your actual situation, surely it will not end well. Sincerity and honesty are very important values!

like

Any F in Dallas looking to meet over drinks or dinner this Friday? Just need a good evening of companionship, and someone to have a good conversation with. Want to explore some good upscale restaurants together. Hope to connect. Ready to be ur chauffeur 😇

like

Texting someone I met on a dating app and they are adamant that text messages can’t be admitted in court as evidence. I haven’t yet told them I’m a lawyer lol. They work in tech but of course, they know all about the rules of evidence because they studied criminology at community college. 🤯

funnylike

Okay - the number one rule is that ladies DM here

likeuplifting

More Posts

For 14.5L CTC what will be the approx fixed salary?

like

Anyone in M&A at Deloitte? Currently in the RFA practice within Accounting and Internal controls but looking to move to an M&A project

like

Any one wants a new Hermès Kelly 25 a bambou?

like

Happy V day to all of you single LGBTQ people out there!

likeuplifting
like

Is your marketing team fully remote or in office? If fully remote, how did you make it work?

like

Say hello to my new friend 😍😍

Post Photo
likeupliftinghelpful

Have 13 years of experience in Supply Chain Planning domain. Looking for referrals , Thanks

like

I thought that I had baby hairs, until they grew up and went to college. Now, I'm under the impression that baby hairs are broken hairs in disguise

likefunny

First time Dad and my 15 month old keeps running up the stairs at my in-laws place and they keep encouraging it. Stairs are almost 10 inches high with nothing underneath and I’m worried that he might slip and fall in between the stairs. My FIL is a bit of a know-it-all and keeps insisting it’s safe and I don’t agree. What do I do? Don’t want to fight the entire house full of people about this and kid enjoys it too much and cries a lot if I/we prevent him from climbing

like

Hi All, I am currently a Data Analyst with 1 year of experience and pursuing a masters in Computer Science (expected to graduate 5/2023). I am looking to transition into an entry Data Scientist role (preferably remote or Philadelphia, PA). Can someone refer me or let me know who is hiring?

I can provide my resume if needed.

like

What apps/ or websites do people use to stay on top of their game for their careers besides LinkedIn, Fishbowl, business magazines or newspapers and in person school networking events? I don’t have any friends or family who are in Finance/Investing/Tech and I want to surround myself with more of this stuff outside of work.

like

I'm new joinee of Chennai location, is it mandatory to come to office everyday?

I know it's may be depend on project manager, yes any suggestions pls

like

Can I get 11 likes to enable chat option?

Please support!!

like

Folks, how long did your firm take to submit your I-140?

like

Refferal at Infosys

All SAP professionals

Dm me if anyone interested in these positions.

SAP

Post Photo
like

What were some challenges y’all faced this week?

I’ll start. Trying to get non local resources utilized. National Leadership thinks this is the answer to our problems but local leadership is hesitant.

Anyone here ever buy a tax lien on a house as an investment? If so, please share your experience.

like

It amuses me to see that -
Companies sumtym prefer selecting guys who did their bachelor's from some private shitpot college than someone from a very good government college.

If someone has showed grit in past by toiling to get into top 10 colleges - he is going to give company better results in operational efficiency and creativity than a guy who scored 50-60% and spend lakhs for admission without any struggle?

HR guys -do u evn know hw much struggle that is? Do you factor dat in ur decision?

funnylike

Additional Posts in Finance

What is an average salary for a standby letters of credit senior specialist at MUFG?

like

Excel Cntrl + [ makes me feel like a superhero

like

I'm thinking about starting something, but I want to be well versed in entrepreneurship before I do. Any recommended resources (websites, podcasts, books, etc.)? Thanks!

like

What's one thing you wish you could say during client meetings, but don't due to the fear of getting fired etc.?

like