As a trans I struggled during this time of the year. My obligation to discuss how hedonist this whole Valentine’s Day is and how it celebrates disproportionately cisgender relationships without ANY regard of that impact on the non cis or transitioning or RE transitioning people. It’s important the feelings of those who are not sure of their gender status into consideration when planning group activity. Especially for students who have not decided to reveal..

likefunny
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Isn’t Valentine’s Day about celebrating friendship, love, and how you feel about someone else? Can’t you do that no matter what gender you are? I don’t think the problem is the holiday, the problem is how you are viewing it. I’m not sure what “group activity” you are referring to, but elementary students give little cards to everyone in their class. There is no teaching of anything….no curriculum. Never has been. What activities are you referring to? Our elementary kids might graph colors of conversation hearts, do a little math with them, and make cute little boxes. But there’s no activities that single out or leave out different sexes. At that age, they aren’t, and shouldn’t be, even aware of different sexual preferences. If there are valentines activities past that age, that’s kind of old. Heck, even our fourth and fifth graders don’t get too excited about it.

likesmarthelpful

Some kids are aware of their gender preference in 3rd/4th grade but, you’re right everyone gives everyone a card in elementary. It’s a big joyful bash!

like

Hold on...back up the truck a second. Vitriolic? Intensely emotional? Unhinged? What the %&@#? Where did any of this happen?

OP, you led off with declaring your "obligation" to blow up Valentine's Day because you somehow felt excluded. Many of us are scratching our heads, knowing how benign the whole thing is. Your original post sounds ten times angrier than any reply I've seen so far.

If other people have bristled a bit at your comments, maybe it would be a good idea to think about what you're asking of them. Without doing a scientific study on it, I'd venture to guess that a vanishingly small number of Americans are seriously bothered in any way by Valentine's Day, except for maybe a few guys that get sick of everything being pink for two months. For others, it's just something fun, or they're completely indifferent.

I feel like some people think it's their life's duty to dismantle every aspect of the culture. We've gone off the rails in trying to neuter everything out of fear that 3 or 4 people might get offended for some reason, at least in my opinion. And what's with "refraining from valentines that depicted anything gender or racial exclusive"? What does that even mean? Do we think that a black kid is going to burst into flames if he gets a Valentine with a picture of Anna and Elsa on it?

By turning everything into racially ambiguous, gender neutral, homogenous blob of nothing, we're actually stripping people of their identities. There are apparently idiots out there who are mad at Adele because she said she's proud to be a woman. This is not what actual diversity looks like. We're not celebrating our differences, because we aren't allowed to have any. I'm old enough to remember the tolerance message of the 1990s. I think it may be time to revisit that.

likeupliftingfunny

Well said!

like
Recent IconRecent

It's really not that big of a deal. Everyone knows it's a silly "Hallmark" holiday. You either have a partner to celebrate or you don't.
Get a pizza and a tub of ice cream like the rest of us.

likesmartfunny

How is Valentines Day related to your curriculum?

like

That made me giggle I needed that

Do whatever you feel is appropriate. I’m certainly never going to apologize to anyone for being white, male, heterosexual and a Giants fan. Valentine’s Day is a creation to celebrate love and sell a hell of a lot chocolate, flowers and cards. I’m sure someone will post something about not feeling it for Arbor Day. I love the dialogue on this site but some topics make you wonder if some people have too much time on their hands. In any event, good luck and happy Arbor Day.

likeupliftingsmart

Come on now...you have to be willing to apologize about the Giants...

like

As a senior ( not a high school senior!) let’s look at how Valentine’s Day was celebrated in the lower grades ( K -4)when I was in school. Kids gave out cartoon caricature cards ( coincidentally, about the size of the religious remembrance cards often given at wakes)to any classmates who they liked, were friends with, or perhaps, thought were attractive...that’s it! None were excluded.

like

AMEN! New Jersey Elementary School 4

like

Why do you feel an obligation to discuss your opinions of a Hallmark holiday, or any holiday for that matter? It is not your place to do that.

likeupliftingsmart

Exactly. Let's get back to teaching our curriculum. There are enough opinions out there, is it not our jobs to teach kids to think for themselves? Not to teach them what to think. Your opinions are your own.

Is this post for real? (insert eye roll). Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love. Doesn't have to be romantic love. I could care less about Valentines Day (or Sweetest Day). It's a Hallmark Holiday, just ignore it. Nobody is required to celebrate it. Not saying anything about your beliefs of being trans, just saying, nobody is forcing you to follow it.

likesmart

Opinion and belief do not belong in school setting. Unless your class is about manipulation by marketing strategies, consumerism, etc. this topic should not be brought up.

likesmart

We as professionals have to check ourselves at the door. Our personal lives, belief, and opinions are not what students need to learn about. Students need to learn how to sort through all the world throws at them, form their own opinions and beliefs through critical thinking, and prepared to justify with solid valid evidence.

likesmart

You can celebrate when having students write a short essay or descriptive paragraph about what their families do at different times of the year…while fostering a climate of acceptance and respect in your classroom

likesmart

I don’t know why anyone involves a single holiday into the curriculum especially at the high school level.

likesmartfunny

I have done that, too. It’s fun!

like

To me, it’s an opportunity to just discuss love and care, especially friendships and family relationships- not focusing on hetero-normative relationships.

like

To the OP, I would like to provide a helpful answer, but as a cis-hetero-married woman, I truly do not understand the predicament you are explaining. I am not trying to minimize what you are saying, I am actually trying to do just the opposite. By reading the other responses, it seems as though many of the other teachers don't understand, either. Can you please explain to us how this holiday marginalizes and/or hurts ppl of the trans community? I have a few trans students that I want to make sure I support properly. Thank you so much for bringing this issue to our attention!!!

like

Praying for compassion and healing from all…

likehelpful

I teach high school English. Because of so many issues with holidays, I do nothing anymore for any of the holidays. On one hand it saddens me, but on the other hand no one is offend or slighted.

likehelpfulsmart

At my high school, kids can purchase roses through a FFA fund raising event. The FFA students deliver them to the special person, it doesn’t matter who it is.

like

I don’t celebrate or discuss it in high school. I get sick of hearing who is “baby mama material “ on a daily basis as is.

likefunny

I’m confused as most posters have said it’s usually the students giving out the little Valentine’s Day cards/candy to each classmate. I don’t really discuss it more than to say it’s about family & friends sharing sweets to show that we care. Rarely have I had students not share with everyone, but I always have extras to slip in where one misses a child and things work out fine. It has nothing however to do with one’s sexuality. Everyone has their on favorite friends and we have to respect that. I teach and talk about respect every day. To me, respect is no gendered and so I don’t even go there.

like

So is what you are saying that you are unable to feel love for someone? Because that is what the day is about, expressing love for others. I do not care what you claim to be gender, race etc. the celebration is about love. If whatever you have decided you want to be in life and whatever other type you choose to be with makes you think that love is not something to be happy about and to celebrate then THAT IS ON YOU. I am so tired of hearing others try to condemn folks for their belief and refer to days such as this in the negative connotations you did do.
If you do not like the celebration then do not participate in it and leave the rest of us out of your melodrama.

like

I have no issues with youand who you feel or have chosen to be. My point it that the celebration of this day is about love for others... It is commercialized and in many ways to me an odd thing because I show my wife love 365 days a year and I do not need one day to do that.
So your love to whomever or whatever makes you feel good, unless you are incapable of feeling love it should not matter what your lifestyle is SHOW IT.

like

Hang in there. Things are changing. Just be true to yourself, there are a lot of us that support everyone’s choice.

like

Related Posts

Thanksgiving is upon us. Send help.

My step in laws are TERRIBLE. Not directly to me but family dynamic is stressful. They parent their youngest kid with pills and ignoring him, so that he does inappropriate things around me with zero correction (walking in on me, insulting me). They are all half siblings (4 boys 30-11) so they all don’t care including my partner. FIL also verbally abuses MIL in front of us. Yet they all want to please him constantly. It’s just bad.

Food was good though.

like

Am I the only person in this industry that thinks pto should essentially be a black wall where everyone leaves you alone until you come back? Why is that such a radical thought?

like

If you had COVID and lost your sense of smell, how long did it take to come back? My wife is on day 6 of being unable to smell or taste anything and it's really getting to her. I feel terrible for her, but when I try to look up how long it takes the estimate ranges are huge, so just wondering if I can get a ballpark figure from others who have had it.

People in corporate - why do so many of you(NOT ALL) disregard the talent or accomplishments of female colleagues? Almost every day I hear comments being passed towards myself or other female colleagues like 'Arey ladki hai. Ghanta kaam karti hogi...' , 'Arey ladki hai, kisi ladke se karwa liya hoga kaam'. Why? Why is it difficult for so many of you to think of women to be on par with men?
Worst part is- sometimes we hear these comments being passed by one woman to another 🤦🏻‍♀️

likefunny

After 18 years, I lost my art room to a classroom this year in order to spread out kids due to Covit19. They said we can’t hand out papers.. kinda thinking art is remote for all. I will do lessons on google classroom with live lesson to classrooms and home. I was told special area teachers may be “repurposed”. We will be used like a TA. One class will be spread out two rooms.Aday teacher in one room, I help in other room. B day teachers switch 😳😷☹️.. I know I’m lucky to have a job but.

Does BCW not allow conservatives to be employed at this company? I’m sitting through another meeting where we are highlighting amazing women and it is so politicized I am completely offended. AOC, Biden, Ilhan, Hilary... I mean at try to be inclusive when speaking of diversity. You can’t name a single female in the Conservative party throughout history?

like

Does anyone work for Children’s medical center of Dallas on this form ? I know we recently had a “employee appreciation” bonus last month before Thanksgiving but not sure if that counts as one whole holiday bonus including Christmas , or it it’s safe to expect another in mid December ? What seems to be the latter in the past ? Any thoughts are appreciated !

like

Stanford Health Care CEO sent managers only a $5 Starbucks gift card as a holiday gift. Personally I thought it was a joke, or at least totally out of touch. What are your experiences being given an end of year gift at work? Is this an insult or should I be thankful?

likefunny

Any ideas on how to negotiate a delayed start date? I really want it to be Jan. My mental health needs some time off and this company breezed through interviews to offer in 1 week when I was expecting it to take at least a month. I really need some time to recover from burnout.

like

I have a 5-year-old and we recently moved in with my boyfriend (40s, divorced, no kids). He’s trying, which I appreciate, but he has very little patience or tolerance for a rambunctious kid. I have a demanding career so my bf has encouraged me to lean on him more, but I feel like he makes it obvious he finds my son annoying. He just has no parental instinct and they’re clearly not comfortable around each other so I never ask for his help or push them to spend time together. I want us to be a happy blended family but even I don’t know the right thing to do at this point to get there. Any advice?

like
like

Anyone in the area a fan of going to outdoor breweries or bars during these times? Lost most of my social circle after a breakup a few months ago (they were her friends since I was always traveling and couldn’t meet others or join groups) and with covid it’s been difficult to find ways to meet new people and make friends so figure I’d try here. trying to find some people in the area to hang out with in smaller groups! 23 y/o M if that matters

like

Looking for healthcare and health policy consultants for a startup idea on biobanking. Reach out if you’re interested on creating inclusion for developing countries in global cell and gene therapies.

like

Are calm bottles useful in your classroom

Post Photo
like

I could use some perspective from my fellow 🐠: had an interview with a Deputy GC a little over 2 weeks ago. They said at the end of the interview that they were going on vacation so it might take a little longer than usual to hear back. They did not provide a timeline for next steps otherwise.

Is this code that they want to move the process forward with other candidates first, or am I overthinking things? Should I follow up or just let the process play out?

like

I had someone from school flame and unfriend me on Facebook because I said jobs are the best way to help someone go from low income to self-sufficient. And this was after I had her child in school and was told I was a great teacher.

like

Anyone use edgenuity? I'm starting Monday with students, never been trained, no guidance. Don't know how to set expectations if I don't know. ice breaker ideas? I'm not in my classroom.. media center.

Negotiating for a Director role at Visa. What is the avg base and what can i negotiate for outside of base?

Extra stock options? RSU? Sign on bonus? Extra PTO lol?

like

More Posts

I am an LVN with 30+ years experience. How do I put “I want a remote sedentary desk job” on a resume please so that it sounds professional? Thanks!

like

Want to start journaling to become more confident in myself and content with life. Any recommendations on journals with templates such as things to be grateful for, etc?

like

Any 🐠 spending their weekdays in Philadelphia?

like

Any info on the pay bands for a consultant and senior consultant for Optum Optum . Looking at roles and wanted some information as I know they have fixed range?

like

What’s fair for a strategy role at a big tech company? Two years pre-mba experience, promotion and raise in current job coming up soon (at which point I’ll get ~$150k base)

like

Do we have NPS component in the salary if not can we ask get it deducted monthly from our salary ?

like

Why do meeting rooms have to be so gd hot

like

What's a Design Director salary range in NYC? The next level will be a Creative Director. It's studio owned part of a more extensive Agency network.

like

For a senior role (Principal, MD) when do firms typically do reference checks-Before or after extending an offer? In conversations with a PE firm and it’s going well. The founding partner said during the in-person meeting they really like me, have gotten positive feedback from every partner, and see a good cultural fit. Wonder if this means they’re close to extending an offer or is this typical to say and could still lead to no offer

like

My wife and I are trying to have our first baby. She is ovulating this week. We’ve done it twice since she started ovulating this week. Night before last she wanted to and I said I wasn’t up for it. And she said okay. She wanted to again last night and I said I wasn’t up for it. She got really upset and after a long conversation happened, we left it at: “Wife ovulating>whether or not either one of us wants to have sex”. Is this normal?

likefunnyupliftinghelpful
like

What’s the background check process like for KPMG IT M&A? Do you go through the same process as someone on the audit side?

like

If anyone works at a charter without a union, are teachers generally invited into the decision making process at your charter school? Does your school have leadership committees/teams with teacher representatives?

like

Any openings available for. Net core with Azure 7.4 years of experience. Available immediately to join.

like

@internationalrescuecommittee How is the pay and what advancement opportunities are there? It seems like meaningful work.

Do intense workouts lower fertility levels? What are natural ways that can increase fertility (eating habits, caffeine intake, etc)? any advice would be great!

like

I heard from a lot of people that MBRDNAs’ compensation is not competitive. Is it true? Is the company worth starting your career? If you do so, will there there better opportunities in the future?

like

If you want a higher CTR and valuable acquisition, which digital medium would you use? Paid social media ads, in-app mobile, or Google search ads?

like

Hi i have applied for consultancy profile today
When to expect reply

like