{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "As someone with ADHD, the impulsive side of me speaks up in meetings without fully processing the information. Then when corrected, I beat myself up for the rest of the day.\n\nWhat has ended up happening over time is that I have started to come off as an introvert (because of the fear of being wrong) and also with low confidence. This is not a good trait in client facing roles where we are constantly making recommendations and clients look up to us. \n\nAnyone else deal with this?\n", "post_id": "61f407a7cca537003770a5fa", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 16, "bowl_id": "5a75ea9408bb5700145c0622", "bowl_name": "ADHD Consultants", "feed_type": "bowl" }

As someone with ADHD, the impulsive side of me speaks up in meetings without fully processing the information. Then when corrected, I beat myself up for the rest of the day. What has ended up happening over time is that I have started to come off as an introvert (because of the fear of being wrong) and also with low confidence. This is not a good trait in client facing roles where we are constantly making recommendations and clients look up to us. Anyone else deal with this?

likehelpful
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

I feel ya. I have done well in client facing roles and the impulsive stuff is always a challenge. One thing; MEDICATE. Second thing; I have kind of developed this unusual speech pattern where I use terminology which both gives people the feeling I am empathetic while it buys my brain time to catch up. For instance; "It looks like there are major issues in the SSP, and I want to make sure I appreciate that lots of work went into this and that we are only getting a very limited picture of the environment here..." That works like 70% of the time. I qualify any strong statement with emotionally intelligent language and it can save me some anguish. The final thing is let that mute button be your friend!!!! That thing was practically built for enforced impulse control 😂

likeupliftingsmart

It takes practice. And affirming the below comment, I take notes assiduously as well. I would recommend taking medication religiously while working - episodic use is risky as you cannot always predict when you will need it. I think one very very important thing I learned after years of struggle is that you cannot separate who you are from ADHD. It is not a feature you disable. You need to accept this is part of who you are and there are features that help and there are those that cause issues. Be aware and honest with people about it too, don't tell them you have ADHD, but be honest about your awareness of some of these effects. Everyone I work with knows I am passionate and sensitive to stimuli. It's just part of my presence and we laugh about it. Manage what you can and acknowledge the rest.

like

I went through 5ish years of putting my foot in my mouth and limiting my ceiling for advancement at a company in industry before I reworked the blurt out. I recognized that it created friction with others, derailed what could be done and I had no bandwidth or authority to fix said issues - meaning - even if i was right, no salient point i was making was actually actionable. That is how you lose capital. My undergrad is in engineering. So my comfort blanket for meetings is a pad of green engineering paper on which i take notes, draw diagrams, witeframes, mock up charts and otherwise doodle ponies and space lasers. With virtual meetings I have a notepad++ session open and I dump temporary notes to myself in it. Now, when I have a burning question, I write it down, review it, bring it up in a sidebar, test the waters of my knowledge by interviewing the owner of said unidentified problem in more of a 1:1 and I either plant the seeds of doubt in their own work, or I test whether any of what is going to happen will have an impact on me.

likehelpful

These are some really good insights. I asked myself - Why blabber if none of my points have actionable items? And I believe I do this so I get noticed. In the past I feel I haven't verbally contributed much at meetings and feel the need to 'catchup'. This all could be in my head and needs analyzing.

In addition to note taking, which is important to stay on topic, I find posing statements as well timed questions works as a way to insert ideas while getting forgiveness if you’re off base. If you missed an opportunity to Ask at right time, it is ok to say “going back to the point Julia made, do i understand correctly that the next step is …and would this also work to solve that issue…” Also if you have a contrary opinion it’s ok to raise - if you have prior evidence. For instance Regarding that plan, we had the same implementation with another client and it didn’t work because…. Do you think we could change up the method in this area? Also it’s ok to be quiet in meetings if you genuinely have nothing to add. Just remain engaged and acknowledge your part of the project being discussed. At the end of a meeting recap your action items by saying “before we go I confirm that I’m working on A, B and C by Friday.” (If that’s not obvious/repetitive). The way you will be recognized is getting it done. Not talking about it.

likesmarthelpful

I feel you. Taking notes helps me. It makes me slow down a bit and helps to organize my mind.

like

I've come to the stage where I am too timid to speak up in meetings or doubt myself a lot..it projects as a lack of confidence in my voice. SO who has heard me on meetings says I'm being too hard on myself (beating myself up) ..another ADHD trait..sigh!

like

Oh yeah I hear you and yes I have been there. I also find people have a really hard time providing actual feedback to you about how you speak in meetings. This has put a damper on my advancement until I moved companies and really worked on my adhd. I would say part of it was learning when to participate. I have found sometimes with adhd we struggle with the silence but love the presentation and limelight. I have found that what can help is to focus on the recognition that you don’t have to always participate.

likehelpful

I'm just like you

like

I squeeze my thumb and forefinger together when I feel like speaking or interrupting. My impulse control in meetings improved dramatically in meetings once this became a habit and when I started actually trying to listen to others to understand them rather than to fulfill an etiquette responsibility.

helpful

Related Posts

Just "wolf whistled" instead of saying my name on a client call. My young female client took it as a compliment.

like

It's a little too early in the project to be receiving an ALL CAPS email. Especially on a weekend.

like

I just got on a project that requires me to be remote. I feel like this is will limit my impact and stunt my career growth and I'm looking for Senior this year. Any advice? Can I avoid the project?

When your client has a stick up his ass all day everyday...relax and smoke a joint dawg

like

When you have to commute two hours each way to the client site only because the client wants to see you working 😀🔫

like

7:30 Friday night at client site. Email from manager: "do you have any downtime this weekend?" Response: "It is this weekend."

like

What are the best ways to settle nerves before a big presentation? Have a big client pres after the break, I want to beam confidence.

like

My advice to new joiners: "Don't put ANYTHING onto the client computers. Except your tears. You can leave those on the keyboard."

like

If you had to compare your office (or a client's) to a television show, what would it be?

like

Just woke up from a drunk dream I ran into client CIO at bar last night and sold him work over fireball shots. What does that mean?

like

Hey client, please don't put "Agenda" in the agenda....seriously..don't.

like

When the client you can't stand tells your team to be on call over the holiday break... #byefelicia

like

Working remote... 8:15 email from client security" VPN unplanned outage"... Scramble!

like

When you are eating boozy brunch in Soho and still charging time to the client. #remotelife

like

First week back at the client is Sun-Fri....this is torture. Rest assured I'll be going straight to the airport from lunch. Get me out of here 😐🔫

like

TFW you are still at the god damn airport because your client wants you to be on site Friday for no reason other than moral support.

like

When your client forces a bush league Monday-Friday travel contract on you: 😐

like

Do you guys pay income tax on plane tickets that aren't to and from your client site, but bought at an equivalent value? (If you head out to a city other than your home city while on a project)

Tips or commiseration for dealing with the breakup of a serious relationship during a particularly high-pressure client service week?

like

Question: Traveling with client internationally and they said they would like me to book same flights/hotels. Can I book SPG closeby or should I stick to where client is staying?...

like

Additional Posts

Posting from the top side.

Nice! The post animation looks good!

like

Post with company

like

Maybe we should implement something like automatic posts refresh? I got a notification about "someone like mypost" but it isn't displaying at the post title...

like

Living it up in the city.

Hdjdjjdjd f hdjdjdjdhjd djdjdjjd d djdjdjjd bend djdjdjjdjjd djdjdjjdjjd djdjdjjdjjd djdjdjdjjdhdhdhdbbd djdjjdjdjdjdhje djdjjdjdjdjdhje djdjjdjdjdjdhje djdjdjjd djdjdjdjjdhdhdhdbbd djdjhdjdjdjdhdhhdj

like

Hhjjndjjffjjddjdh dndbbdndjjdjdndnnf dndbdhjxjdjd djdjhdjdjdjhdjndndndjdjdjdjjcncndjdjnd dhdjhdjdjdjhddhhd ghhhhhhh ghbbbbb fghhhhhhbh cvhhhhhhbhbb ghhbb. Hjnxnxndbd vsbdbddbbxbdbbd dbdhdhdjjxndnbdhdh

like

Ahh it is posting but into middle of feed as opposed to top.

like

This is looking great!

Has anyone worked with a headhunter? I want to get a few offers to help a increase my comp at my current firm.

Does BAH reimburse gym memberships? I know we have this big health and wellness thing going on...

like

Yesssss just got staffed on a remote project that works out of the office. Finally, no more driving out to the burbs! 🙌🏻

like

How much do senior cons in E&Y and Accenture making? Have interviewed with both - wanted to know how much should I expect.

like

I'm an incoming associate starting to think about my professional wardrobe. Advice on heels, versus flats or loafers? Any and all wardrobe advice is appreciated!

like

Trying to find fulfilment in a job is like finding a needle in a haystack. Who agrees…

like

When you have to commute two hours each way to the client site only because the client wants to see you working 😀🔫

like

Currently a tech consultant and looking to transition to strategy. Any one want to earn a referral bonus?

like

On site role's biggest perk is a 9 to 5 commitment

like

Just overheard a new BA's touchpoint with his councillor. Wanted to jump in and give him the jaded real talk the whole time...

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal