AsianšŸŸ, do you feel being discriminated against in life? Tonight at dinner, waitress didnā€™t offer me bread at all but all other customers (non Asian) got it without asking. Not the first time. Tbc...

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D1, microagression comes in many forms. U can't compare suffering. Brushing aside the smaller discrimination leads to a big problem in the long run. Doesn't matter if our problems are smaller. We still have them.

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Itā€™s in the little ways like white people asking me where Iā€™m REALLY from or asking me to fix their computer or iPhone or asking me questions about other Asian cultures like Iā€™m some damn Rosetta Stone for an entire continent. It used to bother me, but now I have fun with it.

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I'm Asian. I'm born here and felt it my whole life. A lot of ppl say I'm being sensitive but u just can't shake the feeling. Go with your gut. U feel it for a reason.

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Iā€™ve definitely felt discriminated against ā€” as an Asian American Iā€™m neither American enough for America (due to my appearance) nor Asian enough for Asia (due to language and culture), and as a male I donā€™t have the dubious benefit of yellow fever to ease my path ā€” but getting skipped for bread wouldnā€™t be my example of choice...

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@D1 True, but in your logic, we shouldnā€™t care about food because of hunger in other parts of the world. We shouldnā€™t care about clothes because so many canā€™t even afford them. Worse situations to others donā€™t necessarily mean that we canā€™t care about our own trivial problems. 99% of the people here all complain about their own trivial problems, flight delays, points, hotel, etc. compared to those, I think my issue is slightly bigger

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I'm white and I've been at Asian restaurants where I'm completely ignored, even my wife who is Asian has pointed it out, didn't really give a shit but there you go

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Try being non-Asian in an Asian country!

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First world problems. No offense OP but really, you need to check out whatā€™s hpng around you to know what discrimination is. People getting shot, losing jobs etc etc and your sample size is not brig served bread?! šŸ™„

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Op, America has a doctorate degree in racism. Happens, sucks, nothing really to do about it. -black guy

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@SC1, at least in Asia, non Asians are usually treated very well. People are generally welcoming to foreigners.

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Love how people have such an issue with an issue feeling discriminated. I am an asian too who moved here for my undergraduate studies. Have faced constant discrimination and have even been threatened a couple of times by people while walking late at night, asking me to leave this country. And donā€™t even get me started to academia. We are constantly held to a much higher bar in academia just because we work hard to perform well and succeed so please understand that just because asians do well economically doesnā€™t mean we are not discriminated against

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I was also accused of cutting in lines for 3 times but I was waiting in lines. Am I being too sensitive? I have been in the US for 6+ years but I never felt this in my first few years in the states.

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Note on check...that's some weak ass passive aggressive shit unlikely to change anything. If you would have just said something they would have given you a simple explanation.

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Is it true that Asians are discriminated at a lesser level compared to other selected minorities? I believe so but thereā€™s also the problem of discrimination against Asians being swept under the rug because our problems are not as public. It seems foolish to say we shouldnā€™t complain about our issues just because weā€™re not the minority that has to be worried about getting shot when pulled over. Both needs to be addressed. On that note, when certain situations happen ā€” we need to think about the intentions of the perpetrator. Did they really not offer me bread because Iā€™m the only Asian at the table or was it coincidence that the server just skipped me by accident? About servers bringing out forks for the table, I donā€™t believe the intentions behind that action were bad ā€” I actually thought it was considerate to bring the whole table forks rather than just for the non-Asian folks. I do get really annoyed when non-Asians ask me where Iā€™m really from. And some people will make assumptions that I represent all of Asia. But do we know everything about every other culture? Weā€™re probably also making assumptions and asking dumb questions to other people thatā€™s borderline ignorant but we probably didnā€™t mean for it to be so. End of rambling but yeah the dating scene for Asian men does suck a little bit šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø

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if not getting bread and being asked about their heritage are the worst things that happen to my kids for being Asian...Iā€™d cheer a silent victory. I also canā€™t help resist but thinking this- that regardless of race, if you are a man who wants bread at a restaurant, and instead of asking for it looks at the bread that other men have and then waits breadless until the end of the meal to complain on a check (!)- the dating scene will definitely suck for you because you probably couldnā€™t get lucky in a whorehouse with a $1000 in your pocket.

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First of allā€” to everyone who thinks micro aggressions are too small to be an issue, fuck off. Whatā€™s so sensitive about demanding respect? The more we let these things slide, the more people interpret us to be weak and conforming.

Second of allā€” yes, we understand that east and south Asians have it pretty well in this country compared to other minorities (if we donā€™t Iā€™m calling my east and south Asian community to do some serious self crit), but thatā€™s no reason to delegitimize OPā€™s feeling. While these may not have been the most relevant example, Iā€™m sure thereā€™s many cases where OP has been unconscious or even consciously discriminated against. Discrimination runs a lot deeper than calling a Chinese dude a ā€œchinkā€ or saying ā€œme so hornyā€ to an Asian female. Itā€™s having racist mascots or thinking itā€™s alright to dress up in a geisha costume for Halloween or telling us, POC, that we should all just be ā€œcolorblindā€. Letā€™s legitimize the pain POC face in the country people.

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I second the calling ppl out part. If u had just said, why didn't u offer me bread? The server even if they were being racist may not do it again in the future.

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Sc1 you realize Asians have the same issues as non Asians when they visit other Asian countries that they arenā€™t from? If we were both in Japan we would have the same exact issues. We donā€™t speak the language, we wonā€™t look like anyone else and we for sure will be considered outsiders. Itā€™s not like going back to Asia suddenly means weā€™re safe from micro aggression and prejudice.

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OP. Agree with the fact that micro aggressions suck. However, youā€™re really living up to the stereotype with the fact that you left a note instead of speaking up. If youā€™d like things to change (as it sounds you do), then you need to take control of those situations and use them to educate people (vs being passive aggressive in an online forum)

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It's not the overt racism that I'm concerned about. I've had people tell me: "You Chinese are always cutting in line", or "Go back to China where you belong", and I'm not even Chinese! Those mostly come from illiterate people in remote areas (you know, the ones voting for Trump). What I'm most concerned with is the subliminal or subconscious racism that most people wouldn't even realize exist in themselves. For instance, if a Senior Manager started pinning me as a follower instead of a leader, or a Partner having unusually high expectations of my math/accounting skills compared to my peers, then that's a problem. On the surface and even deep in their heart, they might whole-heartedly and genuinely think they are treating everyone equally, when it's not the case. Subconscious racism is real, and it is troubling. And please don't give me that bs about "it's the 21st century, racism doesn't exist." Look at the recent sexual harassment cases suffered by all those famous and powerful women. The feminist movement was even before the racial equality movement. But bad things still happen. Society has a long way to go, and trivializing the problems or laughing it off won't help.

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