Asian women help? I realized my lovely parents have been emotionally abusing me because I’m single. I’ve dated a few people despite not liking them but eventually those people treated me poorly and I almost had anxiety attacks when I turned 33 this year. Parents are great but this is one area which I think they’ve overstepped. I told them recently that in addition to the bad men I date, they are giving me pain and I can’t take it. They said I’m being selfish and speaking therapist lingo. Feel 😭

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Keep seeking therapy and keep setting boundaries. If your parents are resentful of the boundaries then you know the boundaries were necessary. Keep your foot down and eventually the parents will come around. Self care is essential, so do what you have to do to stay healthy and happy.

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Oh I didn’t know about DBT until now. My therapist is the CBT kind.

Indian?

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Yes🙂

This is a pain shared be many many Asian woman, trust me. We are at a very unique time in the human history where women no longer need men to thrive. This was not the case even 50 years ago, when our parents were younger. On the flip side, aren’t we lucky!!

I have faced the same issue. I just sucked it up. And keep telling myself how lucky that all I get is just bs from parents, not marrying a man I don’t like had I been born 50 years earlier:)

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Thanks but I feel there’s an upside and downside to the time we are in. It’s great we don’t need men to thrive but that doesn’t change the argument about the biological clock. Men don’t need women as much and there are so many jerks out there. Feel like all 3 forces(parents including) are a negative force and the only force(profession) is a positive. 😦

Sorry, OP. Try working with your therapist to help define boundaries for yourself around this topic with your parents. What are you willing to tolerate and what aren’t you willing to tolerate? What does reinforcing your boundaries look like?

Ordering this book -thank you!

So true. And also remember you are standing on the shoulders of the advances your mom made in her life as a woman and the advances made in US by women as well. You are the next generation but give kudos and have gratitude.

Also remember to set your boundaries but with some charm and sense of humor and tolerance. Don’t go all heavy and intense.

@OP - is your therapist culturally aware? Not saying setting boundaries is not important but how the message comes across might be. Luckily my parents backed off after a very bad relationship I had 7 years a ago, I am single late 30s but before that I had an argument when I told my dad exactly the same thing - stop blackmailing me emotionally and he cried and there was more drama and more guilt trips on me. Don’t have a solution but they will eventually have to accept the reality as is - either you are with someone (they like or not) or you are single - as long as you are happy being you

Are they spiritual or religious? If they are spiritual you can plant some videos to them. My parents got into something like that and it helped me. DM if you want to bounce ideas - we can’t change how others think and feel including our parents, but we can try to provide them tools that may help us

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