At this moment, I am almost depressed. I am in a relationship with this guy for 2 years now. In the past 2 years, we have fought more than we have lived days with peace. We both have high ego problems because of which it’s really hard to resolve a conflict. Things have recently escalated to calling names/swearing and even physically abuse from both sides. We both want to end the relationship, have tried so many times, but we cannot.

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Sounds like codependency and not love

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End it now and separate asap. Neither of you will be able to better yourselves if you stay together. If you recognize that the relationship is toxic but “cannot leave” then there’s no future in this relationship as both of you have a lot of self improvement to work on

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I would just end it and suffer for a while. They say it takes 3 months for every year you’ve been together. It will be hard, but it will be harder the longer you wait for what seems like the inevitable. Contrary to the popular saying “love is all you need” No, it most certainly isn’t. Love does not make a relationship last. It is mutual respect, compassion, empathy , patience and kindness. I just don’t know how you can right this ship with all of that thrown overboard already

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I was married for a very long while with someone I was very much in love with and thought that would be enough. Once the trust , respect and kindness were gone, it was near to impossible to get it back. And boy did we try

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Even if you break up, you should seek therapy to resolve your issues. If you are currently physically and emotionally abusing your partner and have unresolved ego issues, you will likely continue doing it to the next person

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We love each other so much and are very attached, but we both know our relationship is very toxic. It’s hard to be together, even harder to be separate. Please suggest what can be done here 😞

I would highly recommend seeing a therapist together. If you both have tried your best to resolve and it didn't work; Then you need a professional intervention to help you get to a mutually desirable outcome.

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If you want to salvage the relationship, the ego thing needs to go. That’s one thing the both of you need to learn to let go, and that’s something that is seen in mature relationships. Arguments aren’t going to get anywhere if both people keep thinking they’re right. Hate to say it, but every partner that I’ve been with that has this issue, it’s been a dealbreaker for me, because essentially what you’re communicating is “my pride is worth more than our relationship”. Solve that. You’ll see that there will be less arguments. The physical abuse….you both need to stop that. Not sure what else to say. The both of you have a lot of personal things to work on before either of you are ready for a mature and healthy relationship.

Sounds like you need counseling or someone who can be a neutral mediator. Probably should get counseling together and separately so that you can address the issues happening in the relationship and the internal conflicts you each have within yourselves that are spilling into your relationship. I’m glad you acknowledge that your egos are preventing you both from seeing each other’s point of view. If you keep trying by yourselves to handle this you’ll keep getting the same pointless result that has obviously not been working. Its time to get help, be open to help and follow through with what your help is advising you to do. Its going to take some work but if you both are serious about wanting to be together then the work you put in will be worth it down the line.

how old are you both?

It’s hard to separate because it’s toxic…that shit elevated your level of connection, just in an unhealthy way. It will be hard but CUT BAIT ASAP

Separate for 3 months. No contact.
The time apart isn’t forever. Maybe that’ll help give some distance for a period of time.

It’ll give you closure or it’ll solidify that you need to see a therapist and work this through.

BTW…. Conflict, Name calling and swearing at each other aren’t loving acts.

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