At what point can you say it's not so much your inexperience as a new manager (after much patience, coaching and teaching) and it's more of your direct report just being incompetent at the job?

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I think it depends on how many times you've explained what needs to be done and in how many ways. Maybe your styles just don't mesh?

I gauge by effort and tries. Not everyone is automagically brilliant but anyone should be able to become proficient and good through effort after receiving either examples, clear directions or instructions.

Humans are pattern recognition machines. We learn through copying before understanding, internalizing, and evolving.

Once you've reached out to try and solve the problem multiple times, and you've documented it. Plus after those times you've reached out their behavior hasn't changed at all, or they haven't attempted to change it. Documentation is key because it makes your case for you.

before you diagnose yourself make sure the person has been recruited and aligned with the role in the first place
- it might be a cultural misfit for the team, a technical misfit for the role, or simply have some unmet expectations that prevent them from even considering putting in some minimal effort

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