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I always say "my wife", let them squirm.
In french they have almost the same pronunciation "mon époux" (male) vs "mon épouse" (female).
I don't use gender specific but at the same time I don't hide it. I let my co-workers eventually figure out. If he/she is comfortable about it, he/she will ask if it's a she, then I confirm and I start using gender specific with this person. This worked well with my boss. I think that if the person has prejudice he/she will never ask if it's a she, because they won't be able to hide their reaction to a "yes", and there are very specific company policies that address homophobia, etc.