Background I’m 30, working on the cpa exam , changed service lines so learning a new role. I started dating and sleeping with this guy. It’s been about a month now. I want marriage kids suburbs - is the goal. He’s a bit younger 27 - idk I get mixed signals on what he wants. Thoughts ? Should I keep dating him , see where it goes ? Tell him what i want - which we have had conversations about that

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Be up front with what you want. Otherwise you're wasting precious time

likehelpful

Don't worry about "scaring him off" because if he doesn't have the same goals as you, then you don't want to waste anymore of your time. If you want kids unfortunately there is some time pressure. If not, then you can go slower.

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At this point in your life you have to be honest about everything you want. And if it scares him off then he isn’t the one and he’s in the way of the person who really is the one.

likehelpful

Absolutely be up front on your expected timeline. Especially since he is younger. If he doesn’t see himself married in X amount of years it’s best that you date someone who has the same goals as you do.

likesmart

The notion of scaring off a man is ridiculous. If you're ready for the next steps in life, you need to find someone who's on the same page as you, not someone who'd be scared of the prospect of a future. Be true to yourself and share what you're looking for with your partner.

likesmart

I mean, a month is pretty early on. Maybe start with more general conversations about life goals. Ask him where he sees himself in 5 years, what his family was like growing up, if he wants something similar/dissimilar. I don't think most people know they want to marry a specific person within a month of meeting them. But if you're trying to figure out his maturity level and what type of person he is, that's different than trying to put him on a marriage timeline.

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Do not be honest this early, it scares them off lol. I told my now husband (who’s 5 years younger than me) that I didn’t want anything serious and did not want to get married in the beginning. He loved it! I 100% knew I wanted to marry one day, but definitely not at the time. Three years later, I changed my tune after all my friends were getting married and said I’d like to get engaged but marriage is “down the road”. Three years after that I said, if we don’t get married, Im out. Here we are married for three years, together almost nine years!

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@deloitte 1 that happened and we broke up for two days, then he bought the ring

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