Been together with my partner for a long time. The last few years have been tough, as we both have struggled with mental health and health issues. My partners to the point that they can’t work...

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...and I have been forced to take care of us both. Financially we’re fine, but it’s hard for me to continue doing this without feeling somewhat down of the situation I’m in. I love my partner, but the passion is gone, and I feel at times like a caretaker. I’ve been thinking of leaving before, but stuck around. It breaks my heart to think of what their situation would be like if I leave. Financially my partner would walk away with a nice sum, but their family/work/health situation is far from ideal. They would be absolutely crushed. I would have a much easier time moving on.

Some days I am strong and tell myself that if I can help them feel better, I’ve played out my role in this life. Other days, I just miss being able to meet someone new, flirt and feel alive again romantically, travel places, follow my passions without feeling guilty.

On top of this, they are talking about having children, and as you can understand, it freaks me out a bit in this situation.

Most days I’m pretty content with my life, but today I’m feeling a little down. Would love some thoughts or advice. Thank you!

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You are strong, OP, and these are valid concerns.

What is your partner doing to resolve/treat their health issues? While it’s noble that you’re helping them, if they aren’t doing anything to be a more active person (and member of the household), then that’s obviously a bad sign.

You mentioned you’ve also dealt with health problems — how are you doing? Be sure to look out for yourself and practice self-care as needed.

Yup, you’re right.

I’m just really sick of being in this limbo land, and I just want to get back to a more normal life again. If it weren’t for their health problems, I think I’d be out of here at this point. There’s so much that I love about my partner, but if things don’t go back to a romantic partnership soon, I just don’t see how we’d be happy together long term.

Also negativity is a big part of their condition, and it’s chipping away at my usually upbeat and positive attitude. I have expressed this multiple times, and they realize it, but it’s hard to stop.

Did the partner work in advertising? Maybe your partner is bored and needs to find a new career they find joy in? Sorry you’re both sad. Sounds like something is missing from their life, maybe they have too much time on their hands to think about themself. Volunteering could help your partner find happiness/purpose. Holidays are coming there’s a lot of people who need help.

Tell her this stuff. She sounds like she’s lost control. Is her psychiatrist not the right one? Finding the right one is like finding the perfect husband. Marriage is tough. Especially for creatives who have many feelings. Go hiking this weekend and try to reconnect with her and have a healthy conversation. Ditching her probably won’t feel good in the long run. You will lose friends, animals if any are shared, apartments and divorces are costly. She sounds like she has way too much time on her hands to think about herself and her sadness. What’s that saying “idle hands make the devils work”? Go do something fun with all that money.

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