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Best "Consultant Speak" sentence you've hated yourself for saying /typing?

likefunnyupliftinghelpful
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Painting airplane in midair...changing the tire at top speed.
We have an opportunity here...
Inks not dry yet...paints not dry yet...
Let’s leverage...
Raise that up.
Poke holes in it.
We’re not escalating, but you need to be aware..
You don’t give the Ferrari to the teenager.
Let’s flatten this out...flesh this out
Let’s turn it on its ear
Exactly, now invert it.
Don’t go below the hard deck
I need to noodle that
Toss it around and see if it sticks
This is top down...that’s bottom up
It’s not a problem, it’s a challenge

likefunnysmart

Our customers expect a unique POV - let’s check the internal library dB for that

What’s in it for me

So what?

Let’s not get wrapped around the axle

One day my better half mentioned about a workplace issue and my answer to her verbatim - “let’s take a step back and look at it from their POV” - safe to say I have not lived that one down yet

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Recent IconRecent

We are more selective than Harvard

likefunnyhelpful

As someone who went to an Ivy League as an undergrad, I say #gross (and no I didn’t go to Cornell 😘)

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Iterate, iteration, iterating

likefunny

Irritating ?

likefunnysmart

After a first date I said I “hope for a follow up"

funnylike

“don't spend all night working on it"

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I said "can we discuss this offline" during a call with my wife and I almost died. I meant when I get home.

likefunny

"Which one is it?"

"The black Tumi"

likefunny

"Keep me honest here" when you don't know what you're talking about and you want to buy some time / distract from what comes after 😂

likefunnysmart

It depends

likefunnysmart

“Double click”

I hate myself every time I say it

likefunny

Why? Asking because I genuinely don’t understand

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I particularly love all of my sayings and typings.

likefunny

Wife finishes long story...

"Honey, have I told you about the pyramid principle?"

likefunny

I said that to my wife once and she almost killed me.

funnylike

We are agnostic to solutions for our clients

likefunny

“Fruits are ‘out of scope'” - colleague when talking about what his wife plans to plant in the garden

likefunny

Also, let’s go for the low hanging fruit...quick wins.

But LOV that you mentally created a scope so quickly!

‘You need to consolidate your wardrobe’ to the wife during shopping 🤓

likefunny

Let’s just say “Scope creep was consumed"

likefunny

We’ve gotta crawl before we can walk

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“Gotta go slow in order to go fast"

helpful

“Yeah we can do that”

likesmartfunny

"Thank you so much for reaching out."

Your stupid questions are hot garbage

likefunny

“Yes daddy I do”

likefunny

🤔

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Tick and tie

likeupliftinghelpful

Tick and tie is accounting 101

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“Open the aperture” and “Giving you x minutes back"

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Let’s segregate the data 🤮

likefunnyuplifting

Additional Posts in Consulting

I have 6.5 years experience in IAM and CyberArk and I am CyberArk certified Defender and Sentry. Infy provide me 50% hike (12LPA). Suggest me what's worthy?

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Any Managers from KPMG? I’m in talks with them for a manager role and looking for a pay range. DM if you’re not comfortable posting in thread! 😁

funny

BTC hit $10k today??

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"You’re beautiful, smart, sexy, have your life together, great job, cultured, great music taste, I like spending time with you, and I care about you...

...but I don’t want a relationship.”

-Men

likefunnyuplifting

Partners - I am doing some updated financial and estate planning and looking at how much (& types of ) life insurance I carry. In my early 40s, currently have $3M in term life insurance with $3.5M in assets, and spend about $150k per year now. My financial planner was recommending I add $5M in life insurance at a minimum but was suggesting closer to $10M. My projected earnings in next 20 years is likely $30-35M in current $s. Do others carry that much life insurance and why?

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What is the range for a business operations manager TC?

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What’s your take on Ackman’s CNBC interview in light of his bet on credit spreads?

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I would like to open a 529 for my future children, but am trying to understand why I should not front load (80k) it as opposed to contributing 16k a year.

My understanding is that by front loading it, I use up some of my lifetime estate tax credit. Yet I would have more time in market by front loading it. Thoughts?

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My last day is 16th August. Having 4 offers in hand. How to inform that I am not going to join at last moment any suggestions

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I have been assigned to the quality department of infosys and assigned to automation group.
Can anybody tell me what kind of work do they do?

Thanks everyone!

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Have you seen many tax managers make a move to an industry non-tax role? The 10/15 deadline is reminding me why I want to leave so bad every busy season. Found out I’m getting promoted though so I’m holding on for the title change.

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Any fish ride motorcycles on this bowl.? Wana do a friendly meet somewhere in / out of the city?

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What motivates you? Is it more power, money, prestige, etc.? All of the above?

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What's the average OTE for an enterprise saas role

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What's your favorite resource for staying up to date on COVID?

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Where does one see the India New Zealand series? Someone said ESPN+ - don't see any such channel in the Comcast lineup.

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Hey everyone, what’s some new things we’re excited to start in this new week (relating to work)

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Want to start investing in US and Canadian stocks and try to build a good pool of investment but not sure how to go about it. Would love some recommendations. For US stocks what would be better? Questrade or WS? Can part with 3-3.5k a month towards savings. The goal is to buy a house by next year + build an investment pool otherwise. I’ll need 75k for downpayment. I have about 15k saved up( first time home buyer for a $1M prop). Would love other investing tips and opinions. Thanks!

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How’s the LES? Would you live there?

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Would be interested to see if guidehouse takes a hit from its latest scandal. Are current employees finally done? Are they worried their resumes will be affected if they stay too long?

likesmart

Additional Posts (overall)

Which would you take after 5 YOE?
Associate at McKinsey for $185k
Manager at PwC for $170k
Manager at capital one for $140k

likefunny

Goodbye to all my money in the stock market 🤕 also drop some good stocks to buy the dip on?

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Last minute memorial day plans from atl

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Currently 2 years in at a T2 firm with 2 opportunities:

1) Switch to MM PE firm
2) Switch to MBB as analyst (unlikely to be able to switch to PE after)

What are the benefits and downsides of each?

likefunny

What’s better for BSchool optics/story? Currently in Strategy

A: lateral to MBB (have an interview)
B: exit into S&O at high growth start up

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All OP 🐠's please complete the stories you post ! Do not make us all curious than we already are ! 😠

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Will SPG retroactively give me points for the Uber's I've taken the last 3 weeks before I linked my accounts?

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Best restaurant recommendations in Minneapolis?

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Got an interview for a non-Tech role at Amazon Prime Video (data and insight). Anyone have any experience with the interviews for these roles at FAANG?

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Does anyone use a laptop riser or travel w a normal keyboard for ergonomic reasons?

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Dedicated to all fishes that constantly complaining about making “only $100K” with no work experience, 20 PTO days and no WLB etc.

Post Photo
likehelpfulfunnyuplifting

6 hrs delay in LAX... happy fly day my peeps!!!

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When has an email ever really found me well?

Post Photo
likefunny

Do I expense my bird scooter usage for the week 🤔

likefunny

Surface Book 2 for work?

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Anyone know of an entry level role for someone with a BFA in Graphic Design?
Her internship experience is in digital and print branding design. Experience with UI/UX.
I have been trying to help, but I’m finding most consulting designer roles are a bit cryptic in title.

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Ladies, where can I find good deals on sexy bras for my gf? Want to surprise her this weekend with a gift.

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Those already dreading Monday, if you’re working with people who mistreat you, take credit for your work, or blame others for negative outcomes, know that it’s not you; it’s emotional trauma. Breathe.

likeuplifting

I don’t belong in my job. I didn’t mind it when I joined in January and was interacting but as we’ve been work from home longer, the less motivation I have. I don’t enjoy the work but I’ve gotten unlucky with my teams too, and can’t remember the last time my manager praised me without a critique. Maybe I’m just bad at my job. At this point I just am doing the bare minimum to not get fired. What do I do? Should I look for a job that I actually would enjoy doing or stick it out?

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Is crossover recruiting a scam? / wtf is it?

like

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