Bf is makin 3 times more than me, we both graduated 2 years ago, I had a lot of finance background but ibank is just not attractive to me so I went for consulting, while bf went for ibank for money...

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You don't speak to your bf because he makes more than you? Are you sure there isn't anything else going on in the relationship or your personal life? There's more to a relationship/life than money and chances are you probably make a good amount compared to a lot of people anyway

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OP given the current situation just be glad you have a job. This keeping up with joneses mentality will inly get worse once marriage and kids come to play. Dont define your worth by your job, count your blessings

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Hey OP I also work at ACN & started after undergrad. While we may not be making IB money, we do earn a great salary & that is something to be grateful for during these times. I also think it’s important to remember that everyone has their own journey, where you’re at when you’re 23 doesn’t have to be where you’ll be at at 30, just give yourself the same patience and kindness that you give others.

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Thank you 😊! I've heard many people said that it felt like a blink for them to go from 20 to 30, and I just kept thinking I need to make the most out of my 20s, which actually only gave me anxiety rather than happiness...I hope when I'm 30 and look back at the past decade, I wouldn't regret much of how did I use my time

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Sounds like money is actually more important to you than the subject matter of the job - this is based on reading your comments which keep saying that you chose based on interest, but you actually keep comparing your salary to another industry. If that is the case, why not pivot into ibanking?

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It also sounds like maybe you have had 2 jobs in different industries, which may be the reason you are paid lower. Would you feel better about your salary once you get promoted at your current place?

Doesn't he also work a lot more than you? That pay difference is just the nature of I-banking

likehelpful

Haha C3 I heard a lot about his company and it sounds very badly managed and full of politics...but yeah money is real money 🙈

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Don’t compare yourself with others. That is the quickest road to unhappiness. Also if you want a higher paying job maybe it’s time to look outside consulting/ib. time for a career change?

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Ok so yes that def changes things. Give it some time. Also if you wanna compare, as a Gen Z you were prob making more than your peers (not in IB) and def more than I was making right out of college. Your wages will increase and assuming you make manager in the next 4-6years sounds like you’ll be in the 6 figure range before 30. That’s an accomplishment! Look at the silver lining. If you don’t wanna do IB but still finance look at hedge funds/PE?

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Why are you competing with your partner? This doesn’t make any sense to me

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Sigh I'm not competing...I added another comment under the post you can have a look perhaps, basically I meant I'm comparing my career choice to his as we had very similar background and he's the one I understand the most in terms of compensation and day job content, which makes him the easiest person to compare against (I know I shouldn't compare to others but that's easier said than done to me)

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You are still young, so if you want to switch your career - there is still time.
Having said that, something like this usually happens due to some deep rooted issues - insecurity, thinking you are not good enough, etc. I highly suggest you see a therapist. Because if not, today it’s your career, tomorrow it will be something else. There are lots of self investing needed to find inner peace. And without that, you will always be in a rat race.

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That's absolutely my problem! I went for therapy but didn't help that much (maybe I was unlucky and got bas therapists). Also I feel judgement/shaming on age, gender, ethnicity (not white), occupation etc a lot around me, which I understand are definitely not okay, but that's extra pressure on me which I can't easily avoid. Don't know what's going on but I'm becoming from a complete extrovert to a very depressed/anxious introvert now. I wish at least my relationship with bf can still continue healthily.

It’s ok to feel this way OP. Consulting isn’t where you go if you want to make the big bucks. If you were to go into banking, you would probably feel miserable from being treated poorly by the company and working long hours, but at least you would have that paycheck. It’s really up to you to find the acceptable compromise. Believe me, everyone is compromising something. Have you tried other areas of finance and/or tech jobs?

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I did degrees in finance as well as data science, but due to family reasons I had only tried finance before. My DS/tech skills are not utilised in my current job for some reason (kept being pulled to do BA stuff whenever I become available...). Was thinking data science consultant might be a good choice but don't know if that'd pay more than being a general consultant

I had a variant of this but it was more rooted in prestige - he was MBB and I started at a boutique.

It faded over time to nonexistent now; we’re married and a team and our jobs each have their pros and cons and work toward balance in our family in the own way.

I think out of school it can be hard to know if you’re doing the right thing. There’s limited perspective so you use blunt measures like money and prestigious. Your skills are not super specialized so it’s easier to second guess what you’re doing and imagine alternate paths.

I think for you two things - 1) just try sitting with the uncertainty and know it’s not good or bad or a failing and that it will pass. 2) if you actually do like data science try to look for roles or groups that are more aligned to that. I think you may feel better if you’re actually using your hard skills. And if they’re substantial, the money or at least job security could be better.

likehelpful

Thank you SM1!!

Hi OP! I understand what you’re saying and I’ve been there. I was constantly anxious / sad / stressed about my career path and it creates really low self worth. It was impacting many parts of my life. I felt like my boyfriend’s job was so much more interesting, he learned a lot more than me, and he made more (this was less important to me though, as he was also older).

A friend said to me “it sounds like you’re deriving a lot of your self worth from your job. That’s not great”. He was right. I quit focusing on my job, worked ~35 hours a week, and built up other parts of myself. Friendship, volunteering, writing, yoga, travel, reading, therapy, etc., It’s a journey, but 2 years later I feel a lot better.

After I rooted my self worth in other parts of myself, I actually did reevaluate my career. I aced my interviews and got a job... as a management consultant.. like my now ex boyfriend. It’s still a journey for me but focusing on building yourself up on things outside of work and therapy helped me a lot. Also, it sounds like you’re working a LOT. Work stress can cause these feelings too, and if you’re WLB is out of whack it’s hard not to derive self worth from your job.

Good luck, OP! Just wanted to provide a different perspective on what the problem is.

likehelpful

Your friend's comment sounds like me as well! Thank you for the advice, I think that is probably what I should be doing as well. I pretty much gave up most of my hobbies (dancing, playing piano, boxing, gym, learning new languages, running food blogs, etc) when I started working, thinking I can work hard and prove myself in the field, but I'm now not happy, and "prove myself" turned out to be just constantly helping out on trivial tasks that doesn't improve any skills and no one want to do during all my after work time. Your comment reminded me how much more interesting of a person I was hahaha 😊😊

...now I'm feeling very sad and not acknowledged by my company in comparison ☹️ Don't want to speak to bf for a while as I might get too negative and make him unhappy as well when I should be happy for him able to earn a lot more. Last year I was even considering doctoral programmes cuz I like to be challenged intellectually and really want to do solid research for a few years but that'd make me make even less if not none at all. Don't know what to do 😭 Can't live on purely interest/passion, or monetary support from parents.

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You’re jealous. You’re sad you don’t make as much money at him—even admitting that you chose a different career path—yet unwilling to do the work he’s doing for the money.

Try practicing gratitude.

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Of course I'm jealous, and he is jealous at me able to work on different types of project with different people and have a clearer progression path than his. I'm just trying to figure out if there is any possibility that I can work on something both interesting to me and well paid, and also see if anyone has good advice on managing my own expectation.

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Op any large city in the US you need to make a lot of $$. This is the reality in NY, Boston, SFO, DC.

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How you make the money is up to you. It looks like your family may need money. It’s ok to want more money. It doesn’t make you greedy. You are doing this for your fam.

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Sorry if I didn't make my point clearer: I'm mainly struggling with

1. Went for a more interesting but significantly less paid job, especially when my family is suffering from medical issue and may need large amount of money anytime
2. Speaking to my bf when I'm struggling may show a lot of negativity unintentionally which will make him sad and worried (he knew I had depression due to self confidence and loss of interest for a year recently)
3. Feel not acknowledged by the company in general and many things are taken for granted - I'm sure many companies are similar not just mine, so this is less of a thing

And these are not relevent to how much my bf makes, I used his example only because he is the closest person to me, we have similar education background and both graduated 2 years ago so he is a good comparison target. It could just be anyone, but being him makes it harder for me to try to find someone to speak to about it.

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