Bf said on video he made his decision to breakup, and asked to meet on Sunday to talk in person. If he’s already decided, what’s the point of meeting up and break up one more time? (He said we have very different values. He thinks I look for stability, quality time, family, have a place, someone to come home to when he wants to travel and build businesses. He feels like the relationship is not letting him do what he wants to do at max capacity because of resistance he feels from me)

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Sorry to hear that this happened :(

I must ask - why is the goal to change his mind? It sounds like you two aren’t a great match, and if you do indeed want stability, someone to come home to, etc., it doesn’t sound like he wants to prioritize that. You both deserve someone who can serve your respective needs

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We don’t have the full background to your relationship and challenges. But assuming that you have been in the relationship for a while and you think he’s the right person (and rational), your thinking is right. Stress and external factors can make people react irrationally.

Go with an open mind, and let him explain what bothers him and how he arrived at a decision. It would help if provided you context and examples. Don’t make it an interrogation.
Once he finishes, if you think it’s misunderstandings/ workable issues, you should express your interest and provide some confidence that they’re workable. Give it time with a few meaningful actions.

If his reasoning is BS and he’s looking for an out, don’t confront it. It’s a ticking bomb. The other thing that stands out is if you are planning to make this a “stronger” relationship it should have been fundamentally “strong”. Breaking up on video doesn’t reflect a strong relationship or a strong person. Think through your disagreements and reflect if he’s demonstrated this behavior before. If this is how he reacts to problems before starting, think about how bad it’s going to get once he gets busier, had a business and you’re a family.

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What can I do to change his mind?

First ask yourself: is he right? Ask him what situations/comments/etc he is using to support his decision. I will say, it sounds like it is already over. In these situations, people often lose themselves to desperately hang on to the relationship. They change what they value or become more flexible when they don’t actually want that. Just be sure you aren’t doing that. If he’s right about what he’s saying, and you can agree with him, it will take a lot of the sting out of the breakup because you will walk away feeling like you stayed true to yourself. And if he doesn’t want a person that he is describing and it’s true that it’s who you are, then do you want him?

I think it depends on if the two people are willing to work this out together and make this a stronger relationship. I believe no couple has no issues and it’s about watering your own grass not trying to find that perfect person or “the one”

How did the Sunday meeting go?

I pushed it back because I wasn’t physically and mentally ready.

Good call and good luck!
We’re all standing by if you need any help.

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