Bi female ~30. Finally coming out and freaked out about it. I’m in a very liberal west coast city with friends who are open minded. So why is this so hard?

Any advice?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

At first it’s really hard, but after like the 4th person you tell you’ll be dying to tell everyone.

like

See... I’ve told a few friends throughout the year, but more as something I don’t make public but will tell good friends, and it hasn’t made it any easier to tell others.

Afterwards will feel easy, “why was I worried”. But yes, strange feeling beforehand. Fixate on how/where you deliver the message, rehearse like it’s a big presentation. Good luck !

like

I made it harder than it had to be. In reality, there might be a handful of people in your life that require “the sit down talk”, all others just weave it in (eg: my girlfriend and I ...). No apologies.

like

Part of the challenge I found is thinking everyone knows me one way and now all of a sudden I’m completely changing who I am to them.
This is harder with people you’ve known for years but maybe aren’t close with because it’s both changing who you are to them and seems like you’ve been lying all that time.

In reality it’s not nearly as significant for them especially if you’re not a close friend. Also, the more you start off new friendships or acquaintances with being out, the easier it is because you’re not going to have to come out down the line.

likehelpful

This makes a lot of sense. Thank you.

The people I’m really close to (family aside) generally already know, as it was easy to trust them, but it’s everyone I know but don’t know super well that I have been struggling how to handle

Telling the first few people is always the hardest. Naturally it becomes easier and easier the more you share. Don’t feel like you have to come out to everyone - if it feels right share , if not don’t. It was very difficult for me to share in the beginning - especially since I’m not a very open person. It’s been a few years now and it feels so relieving to feel open with the people I care about :)

like

People who aren’t involved in my dating life (friends who give me advice/joke around with) don’t need the sit down talk. They’ll find out when they find out. That’s the approach I take. I don’t hide it from them per se but if it comes up I’ll tell them.

like

Being different than the majority is always hard! Like learning to ride bicycle or solve math problems, but it will be nothing eventually

like

Join our LBT national calls! DM me for details! Great group to chat.

like

I’m having all the feels about it. And even have a twinge of imposter syndrome because I’m not out and also have felt no need change that for a long time...

Awww hugs. You come out to one person at a time. You can do it!

Please do to set yourself free! Always stand in your truth regardless of any insensitive comments on both sides.

I'm a bit guy in NYC and I feel the same way. I always want to tell people 😅 it's hard at first but you'll feel much better about it OP :)

Related Posts

Anyone have any suggestions for dealing with anxiety related to getting your scores back? Score release is in 3 days and each day my anxiety gets worse. Initially I thought I passed the exam and now I’m starting to think I failed. Any tips?

like

The craziest part about this whole thing is that my coworker traveled from Wuhan (arrived back Jan 3rd), and called the CDC to report his whereabouts and they didn’t care at all. He doesn’t have COVID

like

Have to give a drug test for new client. Failed a home test today. 4 more days before I give the test? Word of advice on the worst case scenario

like

Hi everyone, I’ve decided to give up drinking and would love to meet Miami folks who are sober and live healthy lifestyles (fitness, sober). My current friend group is very alcohol, and party-heavy, and I’ve outgrown that lifestyle. Would love to meet new friends with shared values.

likeuplifting

Can anyone tell me the differences (whether pros or cons) they’ve noticed between Adderall and any of the alternatives out there? I’ve only taken adderall for years but am considering switching. Wise?

like

Hi - anyone on here have success with IUI? About to commence my first cycle and am just looking for inputs/things to keep in mind/positive thoughts.

Every day around this time my ADHD medication kicks in and I can feel the intense blast of dopamine, and it is staggering and I feel so confused about it. 😭😭😭

like

I’m just ready to have a normal pregnancy and a baby and be done with this $h!+.

likeuplifting

thinking about purchasing a peloton. what is the current referral code deal?

likesmart

Let’s get some positive vibes going in here - name a time when you felt like your ADHD made you a super-lawyer. Go!

like

Anyone using Peloton digital app? Recommend? Don’t have the bike but a gym in my building I can use.

like

Took ADHD meds for the first time yesterday and today, but didn’t really feel any effect? Is that normal? Does it usually take sustained use to “kick in”?

I am in my mid 30s and I wanna get back in shape but I don’t know what routine to start, e.g. CrossFit, lifting on my own, HIIT classes. What type of exercise do you do and how does it help you to accomplish your goals?

My goal is to get toned, healthy and be able to play tennis and soccer again without fearing potential injuries.

Forgot to mention: I do IF and I have been on Keto for about two years

like

Gonna transfer my first embryo. Any thoughts on having a boy or a girl first? I know it might not turn into a baby, but I still wanna dream a bit. Thanks

like

Monthly billables are supposed to be 154. This month I’ll be at 135ish. Holidays and two days out for doctors. Firm alread “talked to me about low first month. I hit second month but again worrying

like

What is your go to work lunch when you’re trying to cut weight? I’m a small F fish and trying to lean out by dropping the last 5 lbs and it’s HARD! I need to be more consistent with meal prep lunches

like

Almost 20-23 days NoFap. Night fall twice in 3 days. Is this usual?

like

Taking the UBE in 20 days… any advice/thoughts and prayers welcome!

like

I am in a self-contained cross category room. Grades 2-4. We have kiddos who need to be placed in therapeutic schools but those schools are understaffed due to Covid — their staff found other jobs during the shutdown—and so can’t take them. Several of our kids are huge. I have been slammed hard on the back, chased around the room to hit me, kicked, bitten, clawed, hair pulled. Is anyone else experiencing heightened behaviors?

Lately been wondering if my meds are even working anymore… had to skip today’s dose (long story not worth telling) and, yeah, can now confirm my meds are working.

likefunny

More Posts

Fellow writers. How’s your job search going? Are you getting responses from companies you’ve applied to? Or is it all crickets at the moment? I’d love to find a way for us to help each other. Any ideas?

like

Looking for Recommendations for fun activities and eateries / bars / coffee shops to do (indoors) for a vacation week in Toronto.

Already have basic touristy places planned- zoo, cn tower, aquarium. Looking for non-touristy food/ drink/ coffee shops and Toronto specific fun. Thank you!

like
like

Anyone have an idea of what the typical salary for a newly promoted SC in the cyber security space at a big 4 with their CISSP?

like

Any 40+ F fish on here?

like

Is coforge will have more clients in hyderabad for Java..

Anyone working on a PHD part time while working? In a situation where I am unable to not have earnings and be a full time student but I want to make moves out of corporate life all together

like

What are some good product based companies to work as Data Engineer?
Good in terms of learning, interesting work and good work culture.

like
like

Hey how to get pluralsight access?

I have really been working on myself to start dating and I met someone who seemed pretty cool, but within two dates dropped some massive baggage. His ex was pregnant and it turned out after it was born he found out it wasn’t his. I feel like he hasn’t really dealt with it, and he’s made some really uncomfortable comments about women that are slowly waving red flags, even though he doesn’t say anything directly about me. Would you have a conversation or run?

like

I’ve always been told- Never Burn a Bridge. I’m about to Nuke one

likefunnyuplifting

I am working as a solution architect with a fixed CTC of 19 LPA and variable pay of 1 LPA. Am I getting at par or sub-par the current industry standards ? My YOE is 12+

like

So I started my first remote tech job. Up until this point I’ve been a field tech. But I’m curious about my salary vs what other people are making in similar roles. Is 60K/year for a TSE decent to start?

like

We’re considering discontinuing our emergency clinic due to staff burnout. However, the next closest ER is more than an hour away. How do we break the news to clients?

like

Looking for ideas for a thoughtful gift to give to mentor senior partner for all the advice and counseling through my early career. Any suggestions welcome!

like

Best domestic travel packages to gift a newly wed couple

like

Hello Fishes, got offer from CS for regulatory reporting ENO 2, could you please help on below queries
1 what is LECAR an ViR projections?
2 how is work life balance in CS?
3 is there any variables in salary?
4 what is office timings for Pune location?
5What is peak and lean time in month for regulatory reporting
6 is there work from home facility
Really looking forward to have genuine answers from fishes

like

Submitted info for background check (3rd party) Wednesday. Still pending and no update 48 hours later. How long does this take?

Education and references were not asked for.
Just job history, included last 3 places. Prior to that it was summer jobs between school and left off.
Have a minor DNR infraction/fine on my record for “watercraft” regulations ie: paddleboarding.
Owe a ton on loans and credit is fair.

like

Hey. A friend really wants to know what will be the CTC for an Assistant Manager-Marketing at Deloitte. Plus if anyone is currently working as one, then will love to connect a learn about the individual experience.

Toodles!

like

Additional Posts in LGBTQIA+ 🐠

Nyc Therapist quoted $300 per session and is out of network so out of pocket cost is $60. Is that typical or too high.

like

Why are gays are looking for something better all the time? One day the guy is super into you but next day he finds someone a little bit hotter and then dumps you and gets with them until he finds someone even better

likefunny

Planning to visit St. Martin and St. Barts. Any recommendations for those who have been?

like

F 🐠 - where do you get your going out to the club clothes? Stem having trouble finding something I'm comfortable in. Any recs appreciated!!

like

Anyone at D looking for an analyst on a project? Could really use the help - been a great performer but covid has made it hard to find a project and I’m really stressed.

like

Thinking of joining a gay book club in New York, anybody has recommendations? Preferably meeting over the weekends because my weeknights are unpredictable

like

I’m not good looking and I’m not in good shape. So I think I’m destined to be alone forever.

like

Thoughts on pure? Effective? Cheaper substitutes?

like

Forgot where my prostate is, can someone help me find it?

likefunny

So, I’ve casually been chatting with this guy for the last hour. We never really formally introduced ourselves at the beginning. He’s hot and the conversation is engaging. So, turns out we have the same freaking first name. Now, I’m kind of weirded out and don’t know where to go from here. 😣

likefunny

I was on tour in the last two years in Europe and during that time, I was able to date/see more quality/good guys than here in the US. Almost to the point of finding a real relationship.

Would you go to another country, change jobs and company to try and find love?

I think that if I want to be happy in my personal life - I need to go back.

like