Bi people, how do manage being out at work, esp. in our business? People assume that I'm straight & I feel like a sham by not correcting them. But as a woman, coming out has lead to unwanted advances.

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Thought you were talking about business intelligence and was incredibly confused

likefunny

If you didn't figure by the second sentence that we were talking about bisexuality, we've got a bigger problem here.

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Why is that anyone’s business? I don’t understand “coming out” at work. If the topic of who you’re dating comes up and you say you’re dating a woman, then fine. But not like “hey guys important announcement I’m Bi”.

Or if someone says “oh do you have a bf?” “No, I have a gf”. Simple.

I will say tho the first time I met a lesbian coworker it didn’t click for about a month. Like she kept mentioning her girlfriend and idk if my brain just like switched it to boyfriend automatically or what but when one day I was like oh.... she’s literally dating a woman lmao. That’s probably what’s happening.

likefunny

"Super awesome" means being genuinely supportive of my choice (rather than assuming it's a phase), considerate (that while they might not get it, it's not about them) and inclusive (in their language and interactions with me).

likehelpful

Same! There are times in my life where I’ve identified as lesbian and dated exclusively women, and now I date both women and men. I’m proud to be bisexual but using that word in the workplace scares me.

I’m also active in my firm’s LGBTQ network and out to people there. Coming out as bi was waaaay harder than coming out as lesbian.

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Same. It would be one thing if it was just my team, but as consultants, our teams constantly change and people have way too many opinions about bisexual people and I don't want to deal with all their baggage.

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I'm not out... But it's not relevant so I don't see myself correcting anyone anytime soon 🤷‍♀️

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Curious, do you talk often about your sexuality to your colleagues? In my experience it hardly ever comes up..

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In professional settings, I avoid oversharing personal details, in general. Especially romantic details. I’m dating a man, but often refer to him as my partner (so as to not even imply gender or marital status as it’s no-one’s business). And to colleagues that I feel closer to, then I might share more detail over time. Though my past relationships never come up in discussions, so I would feel weird bringing anything up that would give away details of my romantic preferences or experiences. And so I guess if I’m never directly asked (which I don’t expect to be at work), I don’t tell. But we’re all different, and you should do what feels most comfortable for you! I’m sure others would be encouraged/ less afraid if others modelled the behaviour and everything is ok!

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