S/o got very mad that I got dinner after a long day with two coworkers (both male) and said I was on a “date”. Didn’t believe me when I said I was alone back at my hotel afterwards... normal?

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Does he have an ex who cheated on him with her coworkers?

likesmart

He will need to work hard to not project insecurities from that relationship on to you. It can be done, but will take a lot of intentional effort

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Been with men like this. They don't see it as an issue, much less their issue - they fully project it on to you, and YOU are expected to work around their insecurity. I stayed with one of them for a year, being very patient with him, going to counselling, and then one night he pulled me out of the shower and held me down asking me about the other men in my life.

likesmarthelpful
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If you are asking if his response is normal, the answer is: No, not normal at all.

If you are asking if going out with co-workers is normal, the answer is: Yes, perfectly normal.

likesmart

Don’t walk away, run!

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Run run run! This is a manipulative and abusive pattern, first as jealousy (because he loves you so much!) and than creeping into the desire to control you and monitor any move. Drop him like a hot potato. By the way, in many cases they are cheaters as well. You’re not his property. Run and never look back.

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Re:gaslighting...

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🙌

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OP can we get an update? I’m genuinely concerned about your status right now

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I know we don't have all the details, but this sounds really really bad. We're all allowed our insecurities from time to time, but the way this played out screams red flag. He's getting angry when you don't have time for him when he wants (the phone call at dinner). He's accusing you of things you're not doing with coworkers, which will most likely start impacting your career. And he's calling others (hotel) to check up on you. And lastly, he doesn't even see any issue and is telling you he is doing all of these things.

IMO this is the type of guy who is controlling. And to me, it seems like at 8 months he's getting comfortable with this sort of behaviour and it's likely to get worst. (Don't go out with your male friends alone. Home straight after work. Take his calls to confirm you're alone at your hotel, etc)

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I hope you already broke up with him

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Life is far to short to deal with his issues. Time to move on.

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That’s crazy. My entire team are male and I have dinner with them all the time. Whether it’s with one or more person.

It’s just good to build a working relationship and get to know your team outside of the work environment.

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He’s not the right match for someone in the consulting field, and if this is the first time this has happened, it will happen again. You can’t really have a jealous/untrusting guy when you live this lifestyle

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Agree with the other comments. Sorry that happened

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Run!

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Not normal

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Do you hang out with these coworkers frequently, and has he met them before?

This is way too much drama for something as innocuous as literally doing your job. Either he needs to have a serious come to Jesus moment where he’s horrified by his behavior, or I recommend you cut your losses :(.

likesmart

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