{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Breaking up with who I thought was the love of my life ( dated 10yrs ). Could not pull the trigger on marriage, and as I approach 27 feeling like I succeed at everything except love. 😞", "post_id": "60dcdc6e28d673002480ffde", "reply_count": 43, "vote_count": 16, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Breaking up with who I thought was the love of my life ( dated 10yrs ). Could not pull the trigger on marriage, and as I approach 27 feeling like I succeed at everything except love. 😞

likesmart
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Sorry to hear what is going on OP! It’s really thought to lose someone who you have been close with in your life, someone who has been there for all of those moments. It is somethings the little things or starting fresh that makes this so difficult. I can emphasize to a certain extent given Im about to break up with my boyfriend who, while I’ve only be dating for less than a year, we have known each other for 10 year since high school too. Please take it easy on yourself. Take tangible steps to help yourself heal. Plan whatever that is for you. Could be a spa day, hiking, yoga, time with friends, bougie ass meals, shopping, running, dancing, etc. You’ll get through this. Let me know if you need to talk

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I’ve been with my bf for 9 years, going on 10 this year. We started dating in HS. I’m 26 so similar boat as you except, I love that we’ve taken our time. We’ve both talked about marriage and engagements but we both feel like we have other priorities at the moment, like moving cross country together and really enjoying our life and setting up our future (financial stability) before we make a commitment such as marriage. Not because we don’t want to, just bc we want to get everything set up for then. I feel very happy and successful in my relationship in that sense. Of course everyone is different, just sharing my perspective as someone in a similar situation.

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I mean I’m 27 and have never ever had a relationship. Never been in love, never been loved. You’ll be okay at least you didn’t settle and at least you know you’re capable of being loved.

likehelpful

Hi. I have to recommend therapy. Like a good therapist. Or if you are open to it an energy healer. Not reiki. Barbara Brennan school of healing. I suspect there are pieces of yourself you’ve walled off probably for the best reasons.

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I laughed out loud sorry 27. You have all the time in the world. Don’t miss out on what’s now by thinking about what’s next

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Thank you for sharing D1 and C1!! I love this bowl because it really helps me deal with my toxic thoughts around aging and relationship expectations 🥰

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If I’m understanding you correctly you dated this person since you were 16? One relationship is hardly enough to say whether you succeed or fail at love entirely. 10 years is a long time especially when you’re that young. Give yourself time to heal and move on and you will find your whole life still ahead of you.

likehelpfulsmart

OP. We need to grab drinks on zoom. Reason being. I’ve been where you are… and it was totally different for me. Like you. I dated my guy for 10+ years. Only difference is we got engaged. He knew he wanted to spend his entire life with me right after 6 months though. I on the other hand was skeptical if I wanted to spend my life with him. However during the 10 years we dated he was there for me.. always. Until… I broke up with him. I broke up with him for reasons I knew were valid at the time. I was more ambitious, I knew what I wanted, I had a career, I needed “a man” who would “support me” , be a better half to me than he was… I was wrong . It took 4 yrs. In those 4 years we remained in contact. We checked in on each other. After all, you can’t really say goodbye to the person who grew with you for 10 years. I dated 3 guys after him who “fit” the type I wanted. Each one failed. Long story short. I’m back with my guy. Planning our wedding, just bought our home together, my family is truly happy with my decision because they saw us grow together. Everyone has their story. This one is mine. If you need to talk. Dm me. We can have a candid convo with no judgement just support.

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😭😭😭❤❤❤ this is so sweet!!! If you've been together this long, have so much history together and have been through so much I just feel like you're meant to stay together. There aren't some magic people out there who are perfect that he's going to miraculously find. I've been with my husband for 11 years and we got married after 9 years together when we were 29 and 30 so there might still be hope to get back together

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Marriage is a huge commitment and even a bizarre concept. Don't take it as a foregone conclusion. Congrats on thinking it through. And I'm sorry for how it must feel to end a relationship. Take care 💛

likesmartfunny

Women are made to create life. Yea we can do so many things and are super strong. But there is nothing like becoming a mother. Don’t deprive yourself based on stupid political garbage. It’s who we are. Life givers.

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This is success, it just looks different than what movies/society teaches you. Being able to Listen to your gut, your feelings, whatever it was inside of you that wasn’t ready to make a lifetime commitment at this point, in fact is success. Do you know how many people out there aren’t in touch with themselves? Or too afraid to admit feelings of discomfort and be able to walk away? Something tells me you will find your way, and happiness. ;)

likesmart

You grow a lot between 17 and 27 so don’t feel like you’re failing at anything! I think it’s healthy for you to go explore other people and find out someone who is best suited for you

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Uh 27. So you guys started dating them when you’re 17. Did you even have a relationship before that? You have plenty of time to find the right person who will commit to you. Besides, from experience of being married and divorced by 27, I can say that getting married after 30 is ideal bc that’s when you will know yourself best. Too much is changing in your 20s. Wait for that hott thang who has an established career so you both can enjoy each other’s time over the good wine ;)

likefunny

Can you imagine how boooorrrriiinnng life would be if you “had it all figured out”? There’s SO many adventures ahead of you and it probably won’t look the way you imagine it, but where’s the joy in that? The world is HUGE and I try to remember that whenever I feel like I don’t have options.

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You went through the most important changes of your life with this person, and it was a long time. Everytime we "fail", we feel like everything is suddenly about that one thing that didn't work out, but it isn't. I am 30 and back whe I was 20... I thiught life would by figured out by 25. Guess what, nothing has been figured out so far!! I would encourage you to understand you non-negotiables and why they are so... Sounds like marriage is one. So, better understand that before entering a new relationship

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You’re still a baby! Get out there and experience life a bit :) It’ll all work out for the best. If you have this feeling in your gut, it’s for a reason!

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I don’t mean that as ageist - at 27 I felt like I had lived a ton but I just mean to say you have a lot more living left to do as well and there is plenty of time to find the right partner for you :)

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Op I’m 27 and started dating someone. This is the first time I’m in healthy and real relationship. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Also 27 isn’t old. Please don’t make us sound so old 😜

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I totally feel you, I’m approaching 27, dated my guy for years and he s just not sure about marriage. Idk if he just needs more time or if he ll always be unsure. Every time we talk I feel like I can either break up or just wait, I admire your courage to just make a decision and move on!

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Strategy Consultant 1- please leave him. When someone says they are not ready… they are not ready to do it with you. And 99.9% of the time, they will never be ready. Please don’t waste your time with men that don’t value you.

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That’s a long time to invest in someone who isn’t serious. He wasted your time. That’s not ok. I’m sorry.

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You’re succeeding by not settling for a relationship that isn’t working. You could be divorced by now, skip that and get to the good stuff!

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I’m kind of at this point as well, but not quite sure..

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Similar!

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I don’t have the answer, I’m single and early thirties. I had two long term relationships. One thing that can help is keeping an abundance vs scarcity mindset. Don’t stay with someone if you are doing it because you believe you are out of time and can’t find someone else better for you. Believe that there are many people you could be truly happy with.

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