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Any info on the agency Heartbeat in NY?
Does EY GDS layoff or fire any employee??
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Chief
One of the best advice a senior partner gave me in newborn stage was babies also need change. You don’t take it personally and yes, they read anxiety as well. It’s frustrating how we mums do everything and then baby starts showing preference but only later. So in this case, you first need to have a dialogue with your husband on shared responsibilities. It’s not fair that he changed only 3 diapers in a month and no, being in person at work is not an excuse. Second, you need a break from baby, home and husband. Keep the baby with the husband when he is at home, and you go for a walk alone. Third, get childcare asap for atleast part of the day. Taking care of baby day in day out all alone is mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. Lastly, I know this will hurt but still, if the baby prefers his dad, let it happen. You get a break and dad learns to care for the baby. Most of us have been in your shoes and know exactly what you are feeling so take a deep breath and a long break.
I haven’t read the other comments but my only suggestion would be to milk it. Tell dad the baby needs him, go take a long shower, relax, get a massage, heck a healthy meal - I’m sure you could use it all. Let daddy help out a bit more and if this is the incentive he needs, so be it.
Girl, this is such good advice in hindsight. lol
Went through a very similar experience. Found this, thought I’d share.
Rising Star
Are you feeling anxious mama? Baby can feel that and maybe dad feels calm. Only thing I can think of because no, baby cannot have a preference this young and it’s likely you anyway!
Omg, I felt this exact way. I even posted her. OP, I was so depressed and angry. I understand exactly what hat you’re feeling right now. And now I’m struggling to type this response to you because my 11 who just can’t get enough of me is on my lap. They go back and forth. It’ll work itself out. I promise this isn’t permanent.
In the meantime, your feelings are valid. Vent when you need to vent and don’t feel like you need to be quiet about what you’re experiencing and feeling. Sending you love.
Here’s the old thread in case any of the responses I got help you. Sending love. https://joinfishbowl.com/post_77rmzj356h
Ok I felt like this!! I was breastfeeding around the clock, doing so much. My pediatrician said, “mom is business, dad is fun.” It didn’t help but it made sense!
He’s 7 months old now and he loves both of us so much. His first word was dada, then baba (Arabic for dad, what we call my husband), then papa 🤦♀️
But it’s okay! We have a long time to have a relationship with him!
You are your baby’s ecosystem, his home. Your heartbeat is the most familiar sound in the world. No one can compete with that.
Also, the forth trimester is crazy hard and you’re doing an awesome job!!!
Yes. Take it as a win that dad can sooth him. In my case dad wasn’t good at soothing him and kept bringing him back to me which was super frustrating.
It’s a marathon. Our guy is 6 now and favorite status has gone back and forth. But even when mama isn’t “favorite” it’s clear she’s the default parent. They see that you are where all the care/feeding comes from….and it’s you they run to with skinned knee etc…enjoy the moments the baby chooses dad…make dad deal…and yes. Leave the house. Even just sit in front steps but get out without a baby in your arms. You are doing great. This is a tough stretch!
Rising Star
Omg. Right? Heartbreaking when they don't want you /you aren't their person. As someone who survived 3 of those such phases in the first year, each as painful as the next, I promise its a phase. If only I had the common sense to advise and believe my own advice next round.
Chief
My three year old has always preferred dad, except for a brief two week period. The rest, he always wants Daddy! I took a business trip for a few days, and I figured my son would be just fine, he loves his dad! But the first night I was gone he cried himself to sleep because I wasn’t there. He’s just so used to having me around all the time, that he takes me for granted. Suddenly I’m no there and his world falls apart!
That’s being a bit dramatic perhaps, but he needs you so much, and you’re always there. Daddy is new and exciting, and that’s good too. Take a break and know that your bond with Baby is very special, and he loves you so much, even if he can’t express it yet.
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You ladies are so amazing. Thanks for not dismissing me. In my mind I was prepared for this in his toddler life but as an infant I thought I'd be his person. This is so tough, I just want him to love me
Pro
He absolutely loves you! You rock his work! Just wait, you’ll see. 💗
Babies are weird. I’m 9 months pregnant and my 15 month old is in a mommy phase. It’s killing me as I have to have a c section and won’t be able to pick him up.
I know it feels crappy at the time - especially when they want a mother in law who gloats about it - but if you can hand that kid off and go do something for you. I promise you. They love you so much and they will show it at different times. Take the break! ❤️
Remember that you are an amazing mom, firstly. This is the hardest time of parenthood I have experienced and you are do a great job giving that baby everything they need.
As you can see from other comments, the favorite parent goes back and forth. Somedays you’ll be grateful for it, other days it will crush you. All your baby needs from you is love and patience and you’re doing a fantastic job.
I’ll leave you with the toddler interaction I had two days ago where my daughter woke up screaming for daddy. He went to comfort her and she immediately started screaming as soon as he put her down. Then I went in to do the same. She calmed down again and I put her back in her crib and she went right back to sleep. Calling for daddy which broke my heart but mom got the job done so I walked away just feeling grateful for a partner my kid loves.