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I can share my story:
I quit biglaw after a year because I burned myself out. I left before bonus season because I couldn’t bear the thought of spending another holiday season with my laptop out at my mom’s dinner table to field pointless correspondence. I had been saving for a down payment on a home, and decided that would be my “sabbatical” savings instead.
Quitting was difficult for me personally and psychologically. I used to identify my self-worth with my work ethic and financial success. I come from a working class background and my parents did not support my decision to quit. In their mind, this was my “ticket out” and they just didn’t understand the personal sacrifices biglaw demands. But I had immense support from my partner and friends (non-lawyers) who had seen the toll this work took on me first hand.
I felt that the biglaw job was the dream that turned into a nightmare. I felt stupid for getting into this field and taking on so much debt, and also worried that I was somehow “broken” and would never find joy from work again or even be able to hold down a job. I took six months off before I even started to think about applying for anything else.
I started tutoring for the LSAT as an independent contractor so I could at least pay my rent and limit how fast I was burning through my savings. It was the perfect choice for me at that time. I made my own schedule and chose how many students I wanted to work with. It was like dipping my toes back into the workforce. This helped prove to me that I wasn’t hopeless, that I still had a lot to offer a future employer, and that I was able to find happiness through work, despite inevitable annoyances.
Now I am working for the government in a JD-advantage role, making a fraction of my former salary. I could not be happier with the trade off. I am now in a union, I have flexible working arrangements, and incredible work-life separation. The work is kind of boring, but that is now a source of joy and gratitude for me!
Just remember, there’s nothing wrong with you. The feelings you are having are a normal and natural response to a toxic work environment. It will take time, but you will find your spark again. Allow yourself to actually explore your curiosities and interests, and you will find something before you know it :)
You sound so emotionally healthy.
SAME. Sorry to not have advice. I’m considering going back to school for something completely different bc I can’t fathom ever wanting to put energy into getting good at or climbing the ladder at any law or corporate type job.
It’s a hard contrast between always being good at things/feeling smart and now not having any willpower to try to learn in this job (and bc of that, becoming less and less confident that my skills are up to par).
Mentor
P2: okay, i'm sold! you won me over!
I still lurk in this even though I left biglaw. I saw a therapist and realized that I like working with people and law was a way to do that - so I went to a firm with a soft 1500 hour requirement for corporate work, clients that were regular people who owned like medical practices and roofing companies, with partners who were genuinely good people who cared a lot about me as a person. It is easy to wear biglaw goggles and think that’s the only way practicing law can be, but it doesn’t have to (if you’re ok with making way less money, which I was).
What you're experiencing is not uncommon. Maybe a vacation is in order? Maybe do some pro bono or bar service? Maybe hire a life/career coach to refine or to clarify your life goals? Maybe mentor a pre-law or law student from your alma mater? Do something other than stewing and thinking about putting yourself in debt. Hang in there.
When someone is feeling like this, how much notice do you need before they take time off/vacation? Like of course you want to provide notice but if they are doing crummy work and might be refreshed after, maybe the sooner the better?
I’ve never related to a sentiment more.
Subject Expert
Second this.
Mentor
I’ve been struggling with this for awhile, but it was super bad these past 2 months. i decided to coast for the past 2.5 weeks, and i think it really helped, because i feel so much better today.
Yes! And I got a new job with better colleagues and better hours, and I feel like a whole new person. It is crazy how long I let my slump keep me down and how long I kept ignoring the advice of family, friends, and mental health professionals. But I feel you. When burnout or depression or both has you by the throat, it is super difficult to muster the energy to pull yourself up, even if you have a team of people supporting you to do so.
I moved to a well regarded midlaw firm. When I was in my slump, I tried very hard to pinpoint, what exactly depleted me. This required the help of family, law friends not at my firm and a good psychiatrist. It took a while to get a sense of what, exactly, kept me feeling terrible since depression has a way of making everything feel terrible all at once. I determined that what I needed was a group that was more collegial, less up and out, and a job where I could have sub-2700 hour years. So I interviewed, and interviewed, and interviewed some more, not entirely convinced that a change of job would fix my significant depression. Then, I found a group of people that seemed great, and the billable requirements were much lower. Again, I was suspicious that this job would change my outlook, but I knew my current job was sucking the life from me, so I made the jump.
Being able to regularly execuse, see friends, plan vacations, and have most weekends free really turned it all around for me. More so than meds (which I will not knock, as they definitely helped me through a dark time) or therapy alone.
It is hard work sorting yourself out, and everyone is unique in what specifically fills their tank.
Recently I changed my career path and the energy returned. I also am excited about learning again.