Can we make a confession thread? Something we’re not proud of but it’s who we are lol Here’s mine: I can be shallow and materialistic. A lot of the times 🙄

likehelpful
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I have a very poor vision and been wearing thick glasses since I was 9 years old. I was bullied a lot growing up with kids hiding my glasses and asking me to find them knowing too well I couldn’t see beyond 2 feet. Now after rigorous treatment I am getting better… I wear contacts and they irritate like hell as I have dry eyes…especially when we have to be on video calls whole day! So I am super jealous of anyone that has a normal eye sight and doesn’t struggle like me… I know it’s cheap saying this out loud but I feel so much lighter! Thanks OP you helped me realize my innermost insecurities today!

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My vision is bad too and I don't even dare to wear contacts. Also don't dare to take the risks for LASIK. But just feel I look worse when wearing glasses 😭

I think I still have some residual feelings for a past flame.. and I think he loves me too still. We couldn’t get together because of time or situations that were happening at the point in our lives. Then both of us got married to other people which we both love immensely. We are all friends with one another but damn sometimes he will look at me and I at him and and it just feels like there is so much still there..We are really alike as well so we just can look at each other and know what the other is thinking and will react in sync. It’s sad, wholesome, and annoying all together. I wish he told me or I told him.. I wonder if we would’ve just needed up married. I think I enjoy the ifs and then more.. since I really love my relationship with my husband. But only when we see each other I can’t help but want to know the truth. Well there’s my deep secret.

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No.. I can’t dream of jeopardizing what I have with my hubby. I am blessed to have him with me. He is truly amazing. And I could never hurt him. But again, this being a deep dark confession thread. I feel happy that it’s something I can say out loud and get off my chest.

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I can get pretty envious of other people's successes and things like good looks and appearances

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I don’t get jealous of appearances but I definitely compare timelines/ decisions in life against other peoples timelines/ decisions like no other but actively trying to figure out what to do to stop doing this because it is definitely toxic and keeping me from being completely happy. If anyone has ways they’ve worked on this let me know!

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I'm contemptuous of surface chat. I pretty much think talking is pointless unless we're talking deep vulnerable existential philosophical shit (that is not to say it has to be serious, a lot of my deep convos are hilarious). So when I'm at parties and they're talking about property, or crypto, or money, or reality TV, or recreational drugs, I resent being there, assume most people are dull and cannot wait to leave.

likeupliftingsmartfunny

bc g2 that is fair, i’m just super insecure and i’ve been bullied before so showing myself has always been hard

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I don’t like making plans for my birthday because my fear is that no one wants to celebrate with me or won’t show up because no one really cares about me. I play it off that I don’t like making a big fuss for my birthday. Today is my birthday and I was going to spend it alone, but then I decided to make dinner plans with a handful of friends. I still feel very anxious about these plans, but I’m glad that I’m getting out of my comfort zone to crush these negative limiting beliefs.

likeupliftinghelpful

Happy birthday!!! Perhaps invest in your relationships more with people who reciprocate so that you have relationships of value? You have to put yourself out there to get the reward. Go to YouTube to learn how to invest in relationships in a healthy way. We're not meant to be alone. I think it's worse to be alone than to suffer temporary rejection (as someone whose experienced both!). The rejection is the data you need to move onto different friends. Yeah it hurts but, you dust yourself off, get up and make more friends. We all get knocked down, but it's how you get back up that makes the difference. All this being said, I usually get a ton of happy bday messages/calls but spend my bday solo or w my parents who aren't big on bdays. I secretly want someone to plan a surprise party for me - waiting for my future boo to do that for me!

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I think my identity is founded on being successful because of the bullying I experienced as a kid. I hated being seen as less because I had less. I'm not even a materialistic person, but I enjoy having and making money because it's somewhat tied to my self worth. ....And I've never shared the above statement before... whew!

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Honestly same - I was bullied in highschool by a few girls who had high upper middle class parents and would buy them everything they wanted, expensive designer clothes, BMW on 16th birthday etc. One of the girls used to say things to my face about what what I was wearing was cheap and would make fun my my economic status. Note: we went to the same college as well, their parents paid for college I had student loans and also worked through college. Now fast forward to where we are today, I take a lot of pride in my “success.” I know those girls had a hard time getting jobs and still relied on their parents to fund their lifestyle. I feel bad that I’m actually happy they don’t have great careers and I’m doing much better in this front. One of the girls graduated college and was making ~40k because of the field she chose not being as lucrative and I was making over 100k at the time (now closer to 200k) so I kinda felt nice about it. I was always interested in designer items so I started buying things as I invested my money as well, was able to pay off my loans and have money to buy myself things I wanted. Though I wonder if they think now that I’m wearing fake items though I guess I should’nt care about their opinion, it still stings me the way they treated me in highschool.

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I resent men. From no trauma of my own, but from my knowledge of history, current events, patriarchy, shooters and rapists and domestic abusers typically being male. Something I’m working on since I want to relate more positively to the world

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This made me realize that I do as well. I pray that if I have kids they’re girls.

I want my ex to be destroyed. May he not succeed in anything. I can’t stop wishing him bad.

likefunny

I’m like this with a couple of friends who betrayed me 🙈 idk if I will ever not feel that

I’m very observant which makes most people unlikeable to me. They are predictable in all the worst ways. I notice how people treat others who are less fortunate or “not like them” and find that most people are awful humans.

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This. Most people make my skin crawl, and I’m not good at hiding it.

This app should have *thread awards* because this is the greatest, safest, most vulnerable, coolest, most relatable, thank-God-the-ladies-came-together-to-do-this, most everything etc. thread!!! We’re all fighting different demons (whether we perceive them as rational or not), so hopefully this helps us be more empathetic towards our own and other people’s situations cuz you just never know what people are dealing with, and where it stems from! Love you ladies!

likeupliftinghelpful

I grew up very “middle” middle class and I really resent people who grew up with money… aka a LOT of my coworkers in consulting. I also struggle with the fact that my kids will be the kinds of people that I have resented in the past… since they are going to grow up with money.

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My friend is my last analyst's dad's wealth manager. Oof. I feel you. I'm partly happy for other people whose parents made their lives luxurious if they turned out to be good people, but partly scared of my kids not being able to have a thick skin to not let this affect their lives.

I was formerly and sort of still am a pick me girl. I was more of a brains girl growing up and always put down girls who I perceived as prettier than me. I'm good with words so I often knew how to manipulate my way into their lives and say things that hurt. As I've gotten older and glowed up I've realized that irrational hatred and jealousy of other women is conditioned by the patriarchy. I make an explicit effort nowadays to tell other women I admire them or think they look great. It's been helping me deepen my female friendships and also helped my own self esteem.

likesmarthelpful

This is incredible. Love this journey for you.

I’m VERY judgmental to the extent of being elitist.

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When I meet people, I have a hard time believing that they actually like me. I assume everyone doesn't like me unless proven otherwise. You meet so many people who are fake nice, it's hard to tell sometimes who is actually genuine.

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VP1, it may be a mix of that and just meeting people who became my friends but I was always the butt of the jokes to them or they just weren't good to me. I'm trying to only let the good people in from now on.

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I take “being considerate of others” to an unhealthy level, where I feel true panic if asked to make a decision for a group out of fear they won’t love it. I never share my preferences for any situation to the point where I think I’ve hidden them from myself. Then I feel hurt and taken advantage of when I don’t see this same level of consideration taken towards me. Absurd I know 🙄

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Wow! This is me too. I am an older sister. Good to know I’m not alone and there is hope that I can change!

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I’ve developed a couple of sugar daddy type relationships. Not full on but they gift me things every time I hang out with them.

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Teach me!!!! 😩😭

I have a physical disability (genetic), and I get very upset and jealous sometimes when I see other people do basic things because I will never be able to do them. It's not my fault that I can't do these things and it's no one else's either. I know it's irrational, but I can't help it.

likeuplifting

A4 - if you have want to talk about it, please feel free to DM me.

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I’m a grudge holder

likehelpful

I can proudly say I brought in this change in my ex, he still thanks me for helping him get out of the grudge holding mode.

I hate men. Cannot stand them. Oh wait you said something we’re not proud of. Never mind.

likefunny

Are you attracted to women?

I am the kind who "ghosts" people / dates / friends. When I'm dealing with stuff, I disconnect from everyone without telling them or answering them (sometimes leaving people in the lurch). Not even a "need some time, dealing with things". And I hate people who don't understand this 😓 A related thing that scares me - I am too comfortable alone, don't feel the need for companionship but I need a pat on the back or someone to be there sometimes. So these two things combined looks to another person as - I'm someone who is narcissistic and doesn't care about anyone else's feelings. 🤷

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Me! I also had a hard time connecting with my kids.

I’m super private and don’t want to share my personal life with colleagues, thus I will never inquire about yours (whether you have kids, pets, what your vacation plans are, etc.). Makes me seem aloof but I’ve come to accept that.

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I use a Google number for work. It’s free.

likehelpful

I judge people based on their job and education I get upset when I see the people around me in happy relationships (I am single) because I think I deserve one too (I know this isn't how it works, but the feeling is still there

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Ive always been in the “I don’t want to settle” category too but find someone who I genuinely adore. I think this is the right approach! Means the search will be harder (and yes many others will couple up before you) but the reward will be better if you can find it

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