Coming here to get positivity from all moms. All of my MBA classmate moms I know are super moms, able to nail their exam, give TED talks, promotion, big job change during pregnancy and when their babies are very small.

It's my turn to be pregnant. I'm so slow in my work, and I just failed my CFA exam. Our team announced promotion just now - people joined later than me got promoted before me now. I know I should prioritize myself at this stage, but I just feel bad...

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My advice? Sit back and wait. I used to feel badly about all the super moms out there too but now that my eldest is about to leave for college I look around and the majority of the early start super moms have burned out and downgraded their careers. Me? I’m still here, plugging away. It’s a marathon - not a sprint. After 5 years a lot of them will throw in the towel.

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A senior leader in the firm had this discussion with me. It wasn’t that they said I couldn’t push to MD in 3 years, it was more saying what it takes and that many people burn out trying to push really fast (parents or not!). They also said - what’s the difference in your career if it takes another year or two or three? Our careers are long! Their advice was to talk to people that have careers (and personal lives!) that I want and ask them how they got there. There will always be the fast climbers. But there will also be the people who get to the same place (maybe longer) who aren’t hustling / burned out the same way.

Super moms = women with lots and lots and lots of help (free and / or paid).
The more help you got, the "super-momier" you are.

(....but "super-moms" never want to talk about it...they want the world to believe they are truly doing it all on their own...)

likehelpful

I found out I was going to get fired from my top tier strategy firm the day before my positive pregnancy test. There was a lot of crying that weekend. I immediately started looking for a job and started at another firm at 13 weeks pregnant. I came back from maternity leave at that job and the week I returned got my late, very negative performance review. Within 4 months, I started at my dream job in my dream profession.
I’m CRUSHING it right now and about to be promoted after a year with the new company. My son is 20 months old.
Also, I’m a manager when most people from my MBA program are directors, VPs etc. Title doesn’t matter. Follow your own timeline and path. Do what makes you happy. Success will come when you are happy with where you are.

likeuplifting

What an inspiring story! And you're indeed a super mom! I'm sure your son is proud of you!!!

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They either have more help than you, or they’re secretly a disaster. I’ve been the super mom. I kept a full make up kit and iced eye packs in my car bc I sobbed hysterically the entire way to daycare drop off and work. I was exhausted beyond imagining and regularly had panic attacks. But I looked fucking fine as hell and rebuffed all offers of help.
Please do not judge yourself by how you perceive others.

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Everyone is on their own journey and timeline! Keep your head up and focus on what matters most to you.

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I'm in the tech equivalent of your situation. I don't have answers, but I can commiserate.

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Hi, I'm the PM version of you. 🙋🏻‍♀️
If you figure out how they learnt to be superwomen , please let me know.

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Know your values and what matters to you. That’s what’s important.

Not exactly the same but I failed a part of the cpa exam recently, by just a few points. It hurt. But you know what? My daughter had her mom and dad for her birthday weekend the whole weekend. and we had a blast! Wouldn’t trade that for 6 extra hours of study time 🤷🏼‍♀️

likeuplifting

This is so trite but truly, comparison is the thief of joy. Other people do not set the bar for you. Enjoy your pregnancy, take care of yourself, and try again for the CFA when you feel ready!

For what’s it’s worth I am also really hard on myself and throughout this whole pregnancy (my third) I’ve been saying how slow I am at work and super apologetic to everyone. My boss told me today that I kicked ass and I just said I’m sorry I didn’t finish as much as I said I would 😬 seems so stupid in hindsight but some days are just downer ones!

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Most of us are doing the best we can with what we have in our situation. You are probably a "super mom" too. Your path just looks different.

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I have been a SAHM for years and just rejoined the workforce. I decided to start back as an associate when the people my age are senior managers. It’s definitely hard but I keep telling myself I just need to grind and catch up. As for kids I’m not going to pretend to be super mom. I do what I can and accept any and all help (family and paid)

The cfa is the hardest exam series to take. Passing some crap mba test is cake compared to cfa. It only has like a 53% pass rate so tons of 20 somethings with no kids are failing it too.

Also these “super moms” have issues too. Their marriages are probably on the rocks, their kids aren’t perfect, may be resentful of mom not being there, and moms health is probably in the toilet.

Don’t compare yourself to social media profiles. They are not accurate and complete pictures. Focus instead on finding the balance that makes you most happy and most successful.

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