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Really not surprised by how poorly people understand these issues. So many people in consulting have little to no empathy and are unable (or unwilling) to understand other perspectives. I also think there’s a toxic element of people working themselves to the bone and then resenting others that get concessions etc because they can’t establish their own boundaries

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I can see this too. Many people have been taught since childhood that their worth is in working hard/not expecting handouts/not quitting especially when it's awful. So, they hear about people who are asking for what they need & they simply can't understand that way of thinking. They are on their path though. Hopefully, one day they will see how important it is to care for themselves & to allow others to care for themselves without being mean about it.

Yikes, that was tough to read. A couple of those people strike me as very hurt and frustrated with life and projecting that hurt and frustration onto others because they believe neurodivergence is “an excuse” for getting accommodations. I hope those people realize that just because they are struggling that others don’t have to, and in fact, they don’t have to struggle and be unhappy either. To your original point OP, this is also why I don’t talk about being neurodivergent either. You never know what stigma people carry with them.

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I think it’s also the same camp that thinks diversity hires are taking jobs away from white men and see everything diverse new hires do as wrong but give tons of leniency to the white boys. My area has been really pushing the unconscious bias and I think that’s a huge step in the right direction. But still way behind on neurodiversity. I’m typically a top performer but with adhd/autism some of my quirks / lack of social understanding really makes things harder and makes me feel super isolated- I’d imagine that’s how some minorities feel as well and the whole point of these DEI efforts “inclusion”.

Also give me high functioning autistic analysts any day, once we understand each other the efficiency and accuracy 🎉.

Worked with some I suspect also have adhd so in technical work I typically find “stupid mistakes” and help them with mechanisms to check for these things but their base understanding and connections to how things interplay and work is where I’ve seen them excel faster than others and again as long as I (and they) understand where they’re more likely to struggle it really works out well. Then good to have someone without adhd in the group so we don’t end up on one call all day covering every tangent imaginable - but have really been able to get a lot of value out of the tangents.

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Yep, 100%

It's so painful reading the ways that other people perceive neurodivergence when I've done so much work to understand the ways my brain works differently. People can be so mean sometimes, but I try to stay out of spaces (including workplaces) that allow people to act that way freely without consequence. Neurodivergence is much more common than people realize, but most people aren't educated about it. It's painful hearing (or even reading) their hateful words, but just know that you have an affirming community here to share with.

Ugh. I agree

Not talking freely is just hiding my true self. We have limited time in life, and I don’t want to spend any of it hiding. If people judge me for who I am, then I probably didn’t need them in my life anyways.

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