Confess something.

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I haven’t opened my laptop in a week. And I’m not on vacation.

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

Wow. I can’t even fathom this. The dummies I work with need to have everything checked even after 4 eye review has been done. I try to scare them and say it must come client ready because I don’t have time to check it and it will still be wrong. Ugh

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I just got divorced, and didn’t want to make it harder on my kids, so I took all the debt and agreed to a generous child support payment so my kids are taken care of. I make good money, but am buried under student debt, child support, medical debt, and other debt. I live paycheck to paycheck. I use my points to stay in a hotel during the weekends so I can see my kids because I can’t qualify for a decent rental due to my crushing debt. Most friends and family think I’m rich because of my salary, but the reality is I’m closer to bankruptcy than anything. On good days, I know things will be better in 10 years. On bad days, I think about how my kids would be better off financially if I wasn’t here and my life insurance paid out. Then I get to talk to them before bed for a few minutes, and I remember they are the greatest thing I will ever achieve; I don’t want them to think I selfishly took the easy way out instead of fighting for them. I have another 6 or 7 drinks, head to bed, and wake up 4 hours later to go to work and do it all again.

likeupliftinghelpfulsmart

Ass 5 - no one asked you to believe or post. I don’t want to be mean to you or dismiss you, like you did to this person who opened up, but live and learn my friend.
Oh, and watch out for Karma. She has a way of stopping by when you least expect her. ;)

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Recent IconRecent

I had a proposal to write today but accidentally got shit faced at brunch

likefunnyupliftingsmarthelpful

“Accidentally” may or may not be replaced with “fully on purpose” in this instance

Renewed my airline lounge membership, submitted the expense report for it, then put in my resignation.

likefunnysmartuplifting

I want to party with you

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Might’ve impregnated my Director last night ..oops

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CC1 - we want the truth. Nah, we deserve the truth!! We want an update, or we might take the streets and protest!! Viva la revolucion!!!

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I just ate a third of a jar of peanut butter as a snack, while pretty much naked from the waist down. Not my proudest moment 😭

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Also F. Have also been there. ✊

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Sometimes when I’m on a project and I know my PL is in meetings all day, I sneak off to a movie theater to catch a film. Have done this five times now and never been caught

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I’m a PL and I think this is great

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I have no idea what I will do if I leave consulting

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I basically never work on Fridays

likefunnysmart

I feel so much better

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Folks in my company bowl are incredulous that someone told an intern they’d only have to work 55-60 hour weeks.

Meanwhile, I don’t think I’ve ever worked over 50.

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The key is to not think everything is equally important, and become close with your clients so you know their perspective. Only work on what the clients think is important and don’t get sucked into internal consulting drama

Nice try, FBI.

likefunnyupliftinghelpful

Or HR

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Traveling to client site rn. I want to stay home with my partner.

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Pls fix

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I swipe granola bars from the break room and give them to homeless people

likeupliftingsmart

Granola Robinhood

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Sometimes I take a later flight out Monday mornings and just tell the team my early flight was really delayed

likefunnysmarthelpful

Lol buzzkill

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I just proposed to my girlfriend!

likeuplifting

This is the first wholesome reply I’ve seen on this thread lol

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I genuinely don’t understand how consulting is a real job (especially strat where I work). No idea how we get away with it.

My wife wouldn’t pay half my day rate to bail me out of a Mexican prison but my team makes excel models that cost more than my car.

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You underestimate how much people are willing to pay to unburden themselves of responsibilities

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I bring workout clothes when traveling but don’t end up working out

likefunnyupliftingsmart

Maybe the extra weight when lifting to overhead compartment counts for a little? 😉I do this too. On the bright side, they are clean and ready for next week most of the time. I don’t even unpack them

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Each morning I Skype my manager with a "Good Morning" even when it's not a good morning.

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On the partner track.

Have cheated on my SO (current and previous) in every single client town.

likefunnyuplifting

As someone who’s been on the other end of the cheating scenario, fix your shit. This isn’t funny. Go see a counselor, get help, or breakup. You owe it to your SO’s life you could potentially ruin

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I’m vacation with friends who don’t understand why I would like to catch up on sleep during a vacation.

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I bought the ETH dip...and then it kept on dipping 📉

likefunnysmart

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how much $ can I make in tips as a bartender?

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Additional Posts in Consulting

Don't you just love the feeling when the client throws you under the bus for an error that they made. I'm so glad it's Friday

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After entering consulting I realize lying and kissing ass are called being professional

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What are some consulting cheat codes you know?

I’ll start:
1) convince the client that their request is better suited for an extension than the current project scope,
2) keep collecting these so that extension is inevitable
3) extension confirmed
4) convince partner to staff you on another project
5) ???
6) profit

likefunnysmart

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likehelpful

Sitting with a college friend who is in KPMG and just bragged that she is enrolled in a pension plan sponsored by KPMG and it is separate than 401K . I doubt this . Can anyone from KPMG confirm?

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Preferred Qualifications:
- 5 years of JAVA
- 5 years of PHP
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- 10 years of Swift
- Experience with Cyber, full stack, and architecting an entire solution

likefunny

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How’s WLB at Deloitte transactions and business analytics ?

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