Confession: in a LDR and I'm just tired. Thought we were 3/4 done but it's just been doubled. It's a large time difference and we both work a lot and it seems I'm the one who stays in more or takes a break from work to talk more often. With COVID restrictions visiting has been near impossible. I have said all of this and how I'm feeling run down and tired and the response is just it will be worth it in the end. I know that is true but i have a hard time getting through the now

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Do you have a plan as to when you will stop the LDR and both of you will move to the same city?

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Yes we were 75% done with the time until recently when found out it would be extended. After that the plan is to return to the city i am in

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At a certain point you need to decide whether the priority for you both is the relationship or your careers. What is the reason one of you can’t relocate if you’re already at the point of long term commitment?
If the issue is that it involves some personal sacrifice neither of you may be willing to actually make for your relationship, that’s your answer. Competing priorities never go away down the line they just change.

Figured but didn’t want to assume. There’s no easy answer for military partners. You are young and the reality is at the end of this journey you’ll be introduced to an entirely changed person with a lot of pressure to make it work.
They’re making a sacrifice, but so are you. Given your age and relative lack of time together, candidly, maybe you should take time to think about what you want out of your relationship. People go in all directions in life and holding on to avoid loss isn’t always the best. If it’s meant to be, you can explore it when your lives intersect again. If not, what are you getting from this? You aren’t married and you admit you aren’t ready for a life commitment so be honest with each other don’t hold yourselves to that standard.

So sorry you're going through this. I was in a not didsimilar situation -- my high school boyfriend and I decided to stick it out when we went to different schools, and after he graduated first he moved in with me. A few years down the road and were married. You just have to go with the choice that feels right in the moment and usually it's because you know that the relationship is right. You would definitely regret moving right now, and would look back and think on these launching years for your career with some sort of resentment, given that you're a high achiever who graduated early. If he's the right one, and he's emotionally supportive and you feel that he's doing enough of the emotional labor that it's bearable for you, I believe you can stick it out and it'll be worthwhile.

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likeupliftingsmarthelpful

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