Considering hiring a dietician. I know a lot about nutrition but I’m not motivated to actually use that info to eat better. Seeing a therapist about disordered and emotional eating issues, but my...

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Good for you and screw everyone else. Do it for yourself and your physical and mental health. A good place to start if you want to try something free, is one of those food tracking apps like MyFitnessPal. I’m currently using it after recently having a baby. You put in your goal weight and stats, and it will tell you the amount of calories you should be consuming daily. You plug in what you eat all day (exercise gives you bonus calories 😜) and it tells you how much you’d weigh in 5 weeks at the end of your day if you kept that pace. It’s motivating and helps you become more aware of what you consume. Good luck and in the words of the great Borat, you can do it!

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Emotional eater here 👋🏻 I see a therapist in combination with my nutritionist. Like you, I know the "things" to do when it comes to eating well, but I couldn't kick my habits. The nutritionist acts more as an accountability coach in a way--in the beginning I sent her pictures of every meal I ate, etc. She even helped me replace a lot of my guilty go-to's with options that don't give me the same indulgence/regret response. Highly suggest! I've lost some weight but more importantly I feel better, not as fatigued or hopeless feeling.

I pay out of pocket for this, about $150 every two weeks, with her on call via text too for questions/the accountability part.

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Suggest you look into mindfulness meditation to help you focus attention on your body and be more tuned into when you’re really hungry (vs eating for other reasons) as well as greater awareness of how the kinds of food you eat make you feel

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I'm sorry people are awful to you. I'm sure you're amazing. I wish the world was just a little nicer.

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I was 60lbs overweight and worked down. I personally think its torture to lose weight by dieting without exercise. You just sit there in tension all day trying to not eat the bad foods you're starving for. Its all you can think about as soon as 2 days in, speaking from experience. I failed every time I tried to lose weight by just diet alone, and no offense, but trying to be helpfully honest, I think you will fail too if thats your approach. Id highly recommend hiring a personal trainer and getting into a light and casual, but regular workout routine. The extra calories burned in the workout allow you to eat a bit more but with the same net calorie loss, so you dont constantly feel agitated, tired, and restless. The endorphins and exhaustion from a good workout also cut your appetite and stress, and put you right to sleep. Speaking from someone who's absolutely been in your shoes, just hire a personal trainer. Exercise is absolutely the easiest way to stay sane when starting a new diet.

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You are getting some advice from people who mean well but who don’t understand eating disorders, who don’t understand that it’s not about losing weight, it’s about getting back to healthy and not thinking about weight. I also am struggling a lot with ED and it’s SO. HARD. I just want to say that you are super strong for getting help and already on your way! Also I’ve worked a little with a dietitian and they can be really helpful, they can give you a super involved meal plan or they can just sit down with you once and give you advice. I’ve considered those meal prep boxes like Home Chef because those are nutritionally balanced but I’m not there yet in my recovery, maybe you are?

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Thanks @Publics1 it helps a lot to hear from somebody who also gets it. If I hear another "it’s just calories in va calories out” lecture I’ll kill somebody. I’m not fat due to ignorance. 😒

The hard part is figuring out what will help me... it’s not a one size fits all situation, right? Working with a dietician freaks me out a little honestly, part of my problem was being judged and restricted all the time and I feel like I’m walking back into that... but I’m trying to give these professionals the benefit of the doubt, they’re familiar with EDs right?

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Dietitians are totally familiar with ED, like they work with ED patients a large portion of the time is my understanding, and definitely not judgy (at least in my experience) and their training is based on giving you a personalized plan, not a one size fits all deal, so I wouldn’t worry about not being “seen” in that way. But I totally understand the concern and I have felt that myself! I bet they have plans that don’t feel restrictive and don’t make you pay so much attention to your intake, because that’s so important for people with ED. I think it could be a really good thing and I’m rooting for you!

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...habits haven’t changed, I’m just awaye of the reasons behind them now. Hoping getting a good guide or something will help me stop being a fat ass, but it’s expensive and I’m kinda sceptical. I’m just tired of being treated like crap for being fat.

@VP1 Thanks, I’ve used My Fitness Pal on and off for years and it doesn’t really work for me. I just get s lot of guilt when I see I’ve gone a calorie over my limit and eventually give up. Not to mention calorie counting isn’t great with my history of disordered eating.

@OM1 Glad to hear you had a positive experience, TBH sending my meals in for "approval" sounds like a nightmare to me lol, part of my issue with food was restriction and lack of freedom and lots of judgement when I was a kid and my habits are a response to that now. Going back to that would just trigger me to be secretive and gorge on crap again.

But I’m getting really freaked out that things will never improve for me - that’s what motivated me to see a therapist but it hasn’t been the silver bullet I’d hoped. I’m sacred I’ll just get fatter and fatter with no true resolution to my problems.

Hey, if all the other things aren’t working for you, consider something a little crazy: intermittent fasting. Jimmy Kimmel, for example, doesn’t eat anything on Thursdays. Zero food. Only water. That way he doesn’t have to deprive himself of the foods he loves 6 days a week. You can build muscles in a gym, but the only way to reliably lose weight is through calorie reduction. Good luck! It’s lame but true, that if you can’t control your own personal image and brand, why would your clients trust you to manage theirs?

Sometimes you eat bad because you’re surrounded by bad food. I removed the choice from my diet so I don’t choose bad. I’ve been doing soylent (cafe chai) and it has been great. Remove snacks and choices to make better decisions

I’m struggling with an ED too. Seeing a nutritionist and therapist concurrently. Getting anxiety because the last time I did it, I still spiraled out of control. But being accountable to somebody who doesn’t know me outside of a professional setting.

A good dietitian will not judge you and, yes, they are aware of how to deal with eating disorders. I would definitely start your session with that caveat so they know how to treat you properly. I wasn’t up front with mine and the methods used to help me get healthy just exacerbated my disordered eating. There will be very different paths taken for someone with an ED vs someone without.

If you seek therapy, I recommend seeking someone who specializes in EDs. They will typically also be able to speak to anxiety, depression, etc., but they will utilize therapy methods specific to EDs.

Also, please take some of the advice here with a grain of salt. Eating disorders are emotional, not logical. Yes, eating less = weight loss... that’s not the issue here. The issue is the underlying issues. See a dietitian. See if that helps you stay accountable. With time, you’ll also decide if therapy is the right fit as well. Best of luck!

Hey OP. I’m in your camp and on your team. You need the help of professionals And Good for you for reaching out and getting it. I’ve been there. And I’m better. And it comes and goes. This isn’t about diet and exercise. It’s about the weird shit you do to sabotage yourself, why you hate yourself, why you can’t do the thing you say you want most in the world. It’s not about about looking at my fitness pal and thinking ‘guess I can’t eat any more today so I won’t’. Do people actually have the power to do that? Or not eat when they have feelings? Weird!?!?’ your shit isn’t my shit, but I fully and completely understand the complexity of ED, the messaging all my life, the restricting, the bingeing, the value judgements, the ‘you’d be attractive if...’.

I worked w a nutritionist this past year and we never talked about meals and food. It was just another form of therapy. And at the same time, I worked with a psychiatrist for talk therapy and meds. Those two would check in with each other every week or two to connect on me. Perhaps yours can do the same so you can have a coordinated team. It was a lot of therapy and a lot of time each week in my head, but I’m better for it.

There was no magic bullet for me. But I guess a few things I’ve noticed in the past year. I really like getting up at 5:30a and going to the gym most days. Because it makes me feel good to move my body. I know what to do and I work out plenty on my own, but I started working w a trainer who does more heavy lifting than I do alone (barbells, etc) and I’ve gotten STRONG. Like differently strong. My kids were flexing their arms last week and arguing over who looked more like mom! :-) going to bed early and exercising makes me feel good. But I’m 44 and I life a fairly quiet married/young kid life. if you’re at a different stage, this might not jive for you. For me, I realize, I’m taking care of myself and that feels good vs going out and drinking or staying up late which is what it used to feel like I should do for fear of FOMO.

I don’t ever look at the gym calories burned as calories I can eat. Exercise, for me, is for movement and overall health, not adding calories. I wear a heart rate monitor so I can see how hard I’m working (or if I’m dogging it), but I don’t care how many calories I burn. Doesn’t matter.

75% of the time I eat pretty clean and I feel good that I do. The rest of the time I eat whatever I want. And the world isn’t going to end. Also, I think I’m finally accepting that my thigh cellulite isn’t going away (thanks genetics). And that’s just the way it is.

But honestly, I couldn’t have written something that (to me) is this at peace, at year ago. I did a lot of emotional work with my team. I’ve been doing a lot of emotional work for 30 years. My weight has gone up and down. Pregnancy is a mental mind fuck for someone like me. But I’m getting better every day.

Mostly, at this age, these are the two things that drive me:
1. My dad is obese, in heart failure, and takes terrible care of himself. I’m kind of his genetic copy. I don’t want that life.
2. Fitness isn’t being a model—that ain’t never gonna happen. Fitness is being able to get out, do, be, have a life I want, be able to do stuff w my kids and move. I just want to be healthy and fit. There are only so many knobs I can turn. That’s one of the ones I can turn, so I’m going to do my best with it, because tomorrow I could get hit by a bus.

I guess, maybe a way to tie this up as much for me as for you is to say this: when it stopped being about my weight, and started being about my health/fitness/longevity/Family the ED craziness started to subside. I didn’t realize that until now. Thanks for giving me a chance for my own ah-ha moment. I hope some of this helps you. And I wish you luck on your journey. But even more, I wish you kindness to yourself

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