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The constant pressure from society, friends, and family to be more "traditional" ... like the side comments from clients and co-workers... "who takes care of your kids?!" "I could never do that"... etc that makes me question my own decisions
+ add to my original post- the emotional energy of being the "first" to do everything. I see no female Partners with a working spouse and children. They are either childless, single, or the husband stays home full time. Not to mention there is a very small percentage of them to begin with. It's tough not having anyone to model off of.
For those moms that feel the pressure from society, I want to share from the point of view of an older mom...my 3 kids are in 20s and 30s. I was a traveling working mom and a stay at home mom while the kids were growing up....depending on the time. Had nannies, used in home day care, school day care....all the options over the years. You need to do what is right for you and your family and ignore the noise. I know great young adults that are well adjusted an successful from stay at home moms and from working moms. Same goes for f-d up young adults-from both family types. Who you are and how you interact with them is far more important than if you are home with them, or have a nanny or use day care. Don't let ignorant off hand comments get to you. Your kid knows you and a happy mom is more important than an available all the time mom. That said ...if stay at home makes you happy, that is a good decision for you. Bottom line, do what's right for you. There is not one right answer
Sorry for the ramble, but this topic really gets to me, and seeing some of the comments above - I needed to say something.
Travel. Frequency and unpredictability. Which leads to added challenge of childcare.
Same as PwC1. I love my job and it works out really well that my husband likes being the primary caretaker. The side comments from mostly family is the most annoyingly and does make me stop and question myself all the time.
Completely with D1
The sexist coworkers
Really grateful to read this post. I'm pretty much gone every Mon-Fri. I'm home on average 8 days/month. My husband insists on living in a tier 2 city and won't move to where I am based. It's been three really awful weeks of guilt trips from everyone in my family about how selfish I am. But husband is running a start up, we're reliant on my salary and healthcare...and I really love my job.
As someone who enjoys consulting and has a husband in consulting as well, my biggest challenge now is who goes to industry so one of us can be at home with the baby.
So unfortunate that women question themselves whereas it's not even a thought with men who travel a lot. Just as a woman who's been doing this for decades, I say you just do what's best for your family!
AC1 I couldn't have said it better myself. Don't worry about what others think. Do what's best for your family!
Just joined this bowl here! DD1, the word "selfish" is so harsh on working women. My husband says that to me sometimes and I feel very hurt every time. But as I was talking to another lady consultant friend, she pointed out that humans are meant selfish from the beginning of history - you gotta have your self identity before anyone else. So, I decided be proud of being "selfish".