Consulting speak translation dictionary.
Let’s get this thread started 😜

“(Insert sentence), right” - Purposefully used without a question mark and repeated approx 30 times during a conference call: A public confirmation that you believe you’re correct with everything you’re saying in an attempt to seem a lot smarter than you are.

“Take an agile approach” - the MD who hired us has a much richer brother who owns some hot fintech company so we are going to make the corner conference room a scrum room and will write everything on multi-colored post-it notes and play poker to decide what to do next

"This a great start" - ya completely missed the boat on this, but I like you so I'm going to use this as a chance to give you instructions again, and yes this means you're going to re do everything.

“Per my last email” - I’m not sure you’re even capable of reading, but I already did this for you three days ago

"Let's take a step back" - I'm not really sure what's going on here but I need to say something, so I'm going to buy some time and reiterate something very obvious using fancy words so people think I'm someone who cuts through the BS.

Happy to help - I do not want to help you with your task and I am hoping you can figure it out on your own without bothering me

Bandwidth - the amount of your workday you spend surfing the internet, looking at social media, trying to find the best meme or gif for a snarky comeback, or having coffee

Flexibility - the ability at a moments notice to drop anything and everything, cancel meetings and personal commitments regardless of the price/implications of doing so and work on a deliverable (usually not important or urgent) for someone above you.
Antonym: in-flexible - mentioning that you are not available /partially available due to a meeting, class, personal commitment or doctors appointment. Usually results in a talking down, a poor scatterplot and poor bonus

"Sorry I was on mute" - I am not even supposed to be on this call, was not listening to you at all, and need you to repeat everything so I can make a wild guess as to what it is you just asked me to do.

“I have an opportunity for you” - I know you are going to hate this but I need to get this work done and someone who is not me needs to do it.

"Bill what you work" = Bill 40 hours.

Whose just joined? = say your name bxxtch

I specialize in pure strategy - I have not skills other than PP and I can't drive decisions with foundational analysis.

“This is great step up opportunity” - we undersold the work once again so you will have to work overtime and not have any work life balance for the next few months, thanks

"Normally what we see as industry best practices": I just read this on a deck before walking to his meeting

Do you have a second to chat? = I’m going to rip you a new asshole, usually for something minor

"As discussed" - this is my attempt at creating a paper trail of a conversation we had

“Let’s take this offline”
=
“How bout you shut up and let me talk."

“This is interesting” - what the fck is this?

Leverage: (verb)
(1) to use
(2) to refer to

“Feedback” - justification for why you did not get the pay bump you had hoped for.