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To be honest, we just wing it day-to-day. We have an 18 month with us (no daycare since my SIL that was supposed to watch him moved out of state). There are things we naturally gravitate toward: I cook. She cleans. We split baby duty, laundry, and dishes. We do the basic econ “specialize to your strength” bit. Honestly, the work won’t ever split evenly, but that’s ok as long we aren’t working on tasks we hate. We add all our appointments and conference calls and meetings to a common calendar, so we can know ahead of time if one of us will be out of pocket. Sometimes it means she or I have to pick up more slack, and it also means that she or I will have backup when we need it. If there’s a particularly gnarly day on the calendar, we try to have a family member in our bubble come over to help watch the kid. I know having family/friends able to do that is a luxury. We also just know that we’re not Superwoman or Superman and allow ourselves to order takeout and schedule a cleaning lady once in a while to just get through certain periods. I know it’s hard, and I feel for you.
We don’t have kids but I definitely don’t know how working parents do it. All I keep asking her is to find a balance and to meet me in the middle. Thanks for the advice.
I do most cooking and grocery shopping, he does laundry and a big cleanup every weekend. He bathes our kid, I bring the kid to and from school. We’re both flexible on our things when we need to be - if I have a client emergency at 4:45pm he’ll go pick up our kid, for example.
I tell my wife how it is..... shit, she is back ... need to finish dishes