{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Current moms, how do you make this career work with children? Putting off having a baby because I love my job and just can’t imagine how to do both.", "post_id": "5c2cc3b1911ed700183e0bb9", "reply_count": 23, "vote_count": 1, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

Current moms, how do you make this career work with children? Putting off having a baby because I love my job and just can’t imagine how to do both.

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Supportive husband, awesome nanny, setting boundaries. Many other great jobs out there that promote work life balance so just give it a try and if it doesn’t work, call the headhunters!

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My husband stays home & I don’t travel (local clients). I leave the office or client site by 6pm 95% of the time so I can be home to put my 6-month-old to bed. I then eat dinner with my husband and get back to work if needed. I rarely see my daughter in the mornings, as she’s asleep until I leave. I maximize weekend and vacation time. I spend as much time with her as she’ll tolerate & take her everywhere with me. You will make it work. You will find a way. Your priories will shift. I was pretty ambivalent about having kids, but this has rocked my world. She’s the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me. ❤️ Edited to add: I’m nearly 36, so I waited quite a while to become a mom. Contrary to what I heard, it took a us 2 weeks to get pregnant & I’m less tired than my 27 yo cousin with a baby the same age. 😉

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Exactly this. Only I have three.

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You just do - sounds dry and unhelpful but that’s the secret. You just do it, get the help you need and get your mind to the place of “I can do this” and just do it. Frankly, it’s a bit easier with our salaries than lower paid working moms, and careers with parental “rights” that companies at least pretend to respect. If you want kids and a career, you try to do that. “Holding off” entirely depends on you and your circumstances but career shouldn’t be a hinder. I’m with two kids now, and a senior manager (and still trying to figure out how to manage), and the plan was to make sure I have help and a helpful spouse and just see how things go. I also believe in destiny and what’s meant for me will be, as long as I keep making the choices that are I feel good about.

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I also love my job but I love my kid more. Was never much of a baby person so I procrastinated out of ambivalence but the little guy changed everything. Practical tips: - go local if you can - outsource as much as you can afford for the sake of your sanity and your marriage (either hired help or family help or both) - pick your work time and your family time and commit to it. I made the mistake of trying to multitask and it didn’t go well. - don’t try to be perfect. I didn’t bother with parent teacher conference at daycare because a parent teacher conference for a one year old is ridiculous. I also now decline meetings from 5-8pm with very few exceptions - get a white board and plan our your week on Sundays. It’s a lot to coordinate between me and my husband - most importantly, don’t become so busy being a mom and a employee and a project lead and a mentor and a wife that you forget to be you once in a while. Go to the gym, get your nails done or just hide in the bathroom every once in a while. And like someone said, your priorities change and you just make it work!

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There are a million ways to make this career...or a different career...happen while having a family. But the most important thing is, if you want children than do not squander your fertility waiting for the “right time” or “being ready” or whatever the fuck. Children aren’t another item on your To Do list, they will literally give your life a joy and purpose you never thought possible. I wasn’t really into kids and have always been super ambitious and a strong “lean in” advocate but now that I’m a Mom, I have a completely different perspective. I’m still partner track but my motivations are different. Work isn’t enough. Have the baby. No one regrets having a child (not in our socioeconomic brackets) but people that dedicate everything to work often regret not having them. Have a baby. The rest will just sort itself out.

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My kids are older now (12 and 15) and,with the exception of a 3 year stint at a local job when they were in elementary school, I have always been in consulting. The majority of that has been M-Th travel. My husband stayed at home until they were 10 and 8, and then went back part time. I know some people make it work with two demanding careers, but we found having him step back was a game changer. Also, we are all different, but I don’t feel like my travel has negatively impacted my relationship with my kids. We value quality over quantity and it’s worked for us. I also found that setting little boundaries helps and is fine with clients and leadership the majority of the time. For example, for my saying I’ll never do Mon to Thursday travel is extremely unrealistic... BUT I do adjust travel to be home for birthdays, some sports events, school concerts, etc. I also make sure we do a vacation every year as a family. At the end of the day, decide what you want, go for it and own it

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Thank you IBM Mom! I have a 16 month old and am pregnant with #2 right now and i really don’t mind the travel... everyone thinks i am crazy, but could not agree more with what you said. I also try to work really hard and long hours away so i can leave early on Fridays. We also have a nanny, my husband is in sales so has a flexible schedule (but some travel), and we have a nanny.

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There is never a good time to have kids. You will always have a work opportunity, a project, a promotion, a new client. If you want to have kids, just do it and you will figure it out later. It is really hard but you find something that works for you. I dialed back to 80% and rarely travel. That works for me. Sometimes it’s insane and sometimes it is doable. I think it also changes as your kids get older. Your career will be impacted by having kids. Every minute you spend time with family is a minute you aren’t at the office. You need to be ok with that. I don’t see this job as my life, so I’m ok sacrificing some career progression for family. To me it is so worth it.

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Yeah I loved this job too.. For 10+ years. But I quickly realized there's nothing I get out of it that's better (to me) than seeing my kid's face each day. Priorities shifted, and I changed roles, and I'm OK with it. Doesn't mean that I don't sometimes miss some aspects of the job, but the trade off is worth it to me. Just gotta figure out what's best for you.

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This exactly. I went to a more internal portfolio management role, but with some client facing time sprinkled in there. For me, right now, I have the best of both worlds, but I do miss being on the ground with a team.

What level are you all?

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Associate Partner

Thanks guys, I really appreciate your insight and experience here. I just wish maternity leave was better in this country and at my company! The US sucks when it comes to these kinds of things. We are thinking about starting to try this year, but I’m also preparing to go for promotion and as much as I’d love to say it wouldn’t factor in, I’m not sure I want to be known to be pregnant when it comes to promo decision time!

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This is a very normal and common concern. I stressed about this with my first and tried to plan around promotion timing but then it took us over a year to get pregnant so the plans were shot. Once I had my son I realized that mattered so little in the grand scheme of things and now we’re trying for our second, I’m up for promotion this year and I could care less how pregnant I am when that time comes. I just want to be able to spend time with my family and have a sustainable career that doesn’t bore me to death

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My husband has a job that allows him the flexibility to work remotely sometimes. Both sets of our parents live close by for unexpected or late night childcare needs. I also refuse projects that require weekly M-Th travel and am able to set my own schedule for the most part. It’s still a slog sometimes. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Chocolate and an au pair.

I think there are a lot of good examples at Huron. Let me know if you want to talk more!

My husband is a teacher and we have family close by

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